Being ghosted by the guy or girl you liked can be a disappointing end to the relationship. If that wasn’t bad enough, bumping into someone who ghosted you can be enough to make you squirm. It’s a rather awkward situation for many. The fact that they cut things off with you without an explanation may have left you angry and upset. Depending on how long it’s been since they ghosted you, you may not even be over the relationship.
Don’t let their presence bother you
If there’s a possibility that you’ll bump into someone who ghosted you, you may be wondering what to do when the situation arises. The most important thing to remember is to not let their presence bother you. Even if bumping into someone who ghosted you triggers negative emotions, try your best to remain calm. There are several ways in which you can deal with the situation.
First things first: You are better off without them
The fact that they cowardly ghosted you is clear evidence that you are better off without them in your life. Even if you liked them and were hoping the relationship would continue, hopefully you’ve already come to terms with the fact that it’s over. It’s important to remember that you deserve happy, fulfilling relationships with people you treat you well. Remind yourself that you are totally fine without them. You have plenty of other people in your life to keep you occupied. In fact, you’re too busy living your best life to really care about the fact that they ghosted you.
Relax and Don’t overthink things
Bumping into someone who ghosted you may stir up feelings from the past. If they ghosted you recently, emotions may still be fresh. However, it’s important not to overthink things. Just because someone affected you in the past, it absolutely does not mean they should be able to affect you in the present.
The person who ghosted you is simply a regular person who did not want to continue their relationship with you. There’s no need to fear being around them or feel embarrassed. They do not deserve a place in your life. Nor do they deserve any influence over your emotions. Take a deep breath and relax. Any negative feelings you are experiencing are simply not worth it.
When bumping into someone who ghosted you, ignoring them may be the best option
Putting it simply, if you do not wish to interact with the person who ghosted you, there is absolutely no reason to do so. Some things are simply better left alone. You do not need to be polite or ask how they are, even if it’s a group situation. At the end of the day, you have the right to speak to whoever you wish to. You do not owe anyone small talk. This is especially true when someone cut you out of their life and didn’t even have the courtesy to explain why.
A simple nod to acknowledge their presence will do
Everyone’s been in the situation where you’ve bumped into someone who you’re not keen to see but your eyes have already met. If you bump into the person who ghosted you, you can offer a simple nod or polite smile to acknowledge them briefly. Chances are, they feel equally awkward about bumping into you. Since neither of you want to start a conversation, you’ll probably both continue with whatever you were doing. Simple.
You may wish to be polite and keep things short and sweet
If you have it in you to be friendly with your ghoster, it’s reasonable to be polite and engage in small talk. Perhaps you are with other people and do not wish to behave awkwardly. Or maybe you’re completely over the fact that they ghosted you and have moved on. Perhaps you also felt that things were fizzling out between the two of you. Therefore, being ghosted did not come as a big surprise. It could be that you’re simply a friendly person and enjoy getting on well with everyone.
If you’re fine with chatting to your ghoster, you can ask simple questions such as how they are, or what they’ve been up to lately. You do not need to disclose personal details about your life. Simply keeping things short and sweet sends out the message that you are happy with your life. Instead of harbouring any negative feelings towards them, you’ve moved on and they have no influence over you.
When bumping into someone who ghosted you, do not unleash any pent up anger you may have towards them. I.e. don’t go cray.
Bumping into someone who ghosted you is not an ideal opportunity for you to unleash any anger or resentment you may have towards them. Sure, you may have unanswered questions or even hate their guts. However, you are very unlikely to gain any kind of meaningful answers from them. If you are hoping to gain closure from doing so, you’ll most likely be disappointed.
Remember that the ghoster has proven that they are unwilling to communicate with you. Nor do they really care about your feelings. They do not want to have a relationship with you at all. It’s possible they did not take the relationship seriously at all. If when bumping into someone who ghosted you, you bombard them with questions about the relationship or attack them, this will come across as excessive.
Do not create a scene
If you are in a group situation, an emotional outburst towards the person who ghosted you may create a scene. It’s far from ideal. Not only do your personal issues become public knowledge, but it’s super awkward for other people who are present. It’s better to avoid becoming aggressive or emotional towards the person who ghosted you, especially in a group setting.
When bumping into someone who ghosted you, it’s possible to seek clarification in a calm way
Depending on the circumstances in which you bump into them, it is possible for you to ask them why they ghosted you. This is most acceptable if you are both alone and not with other people. It’s also better if you are completely over the fact that they ghosted you and do not harbour any hard feelings. You need to ask yourself honestly whether you can ask them in a calm, inquisitive way. Being angry, aggressive, or confrontational is a big no-no. Perhaps you can try asking “I was just wondering why you didn’t want to continue seeing each other, can you tell me why?”
Do not expect to gain any meaningful answers
It’s important to note, though, that despite your need to investigate this matter, you may simply never get to the bottom of it. The person who ghosted you may come up with a flakey, avoidant answer. You can’t be too surprised if they don’t tell you the truth, after all, they ditched without warning. They may even reply with a reason that may be surprising to you. Perhaps they never really ‘felt’ anything with you. Or, they may have been seeing other people all along.
Overall, it is possible to question your ghoster on why they ghosted you. However, you should proceed with caution. You may simply not get any meaningful answers from them. Their answer may even annoy or infuriate you. Therefore, if you wish to ask questions, do so without any expectations. It’s not likely that you’ll gain significant closure from their response.
Related: Dating After a Breakup: 7 Tips For Success
Hiding is a completely reasonable strategy
There’s no shame in wanting to completely avoid the person who ghosted you. Being ghosted by someone you had feelings for can be hurtful. It may have even really affected you. After being ghosted, the single most important thing is to do what’s best for you. In some situations, this is not an easy process. You may have spent time wondering about what happened and why. Perhaps you consulted friends for advice. You may have even needed time to come to terms with the end of the relationship, since you were denied closure. As a result, it’s essential to look after yourself and your emotional well-being. If this includes not seeing or dealing with the person who ghosted you, then that’s completely fair.
Bumping into someone who ghosted you will probably not benefit you in any way
In many situations, there is simply nothing positive that will come from bumping into the person who ghosted you. Avoiding bumping into them all together means that you do not have any reminders of them or the way they treated you. By doing so, you can avoid feelings of negativity or feelings from the past. Instead, you can remain completely focussed on your present life and future without them.
In conclusion, regardless of however you decide to deal with bumping into someone who ghosted you, remember that your relationship with them is in the past. Even though it may be awkward or uncomfortable, they have no place in your life anymore. The main thing to remember is that you are absolutely better off without them. Even if you end up bumping into them again, who cares?
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