If you’ve been ghosted and are trying to gain closure, you may be wondering how to apply the No Contact Rule after being ghosted. Many people are familiar with the No Contact Rule in dating, which essentially means you do not message, call or communicate at all with your ex after breaking up. The period of no contact is generally regarded as lasting a minimum of one or two months. Although some people may regard having zero communication as being a bit drastic, others may find it necessary in order to move on.
Aside from not having direct contact with an ex, the No Contact Rule may also include:
- Not asking friends how your ex is doing
- Not viewing or liking your ex’s posts on social media
- Not going to places with the hopes you may ‘bump into’ your ex
Why do people find the No Contact Rule helpful after a breakup?
No matter what your reasons were for breaking up, it can be difficult to immediately cut off emotional ties to someone who was a big part of your life. You may feel tempted to reach out to each other and meet up just as you did while you were together. Breakups can be very confusing for both people. There will often be a mix of grief and loneliness but possibly relief and a feeling of freedom.
Applying the No Contact Rule has the following advantages:
- It creates clear boundaries thereby eliminating the need for you to decide whether you should contact (or respond to) your ex when you miss him/her
- It forces you to live your life independently of your ex
- It prevents you from falling back into old habits e.g. calling your ex in the evening after you’re home from work
- It prevents you from being friends with your ex since you have zero contact. This, in turn, reduces the possibility of becoming confused by having a ‘friendship’ where you are clearly more than ‘just friends’
So, how does one apply the No Contact Rule after being ghosted?
If you were ghosted by the person you were dating, there was no formal breakup between you. This means that they did not explain to you that they wanted to end the relationship. Instead, they stopped replying to your messages or calls until eventually worked out that you’d been ghosted.
It may be harder to gain closure after being ghosted compared to after a regular breakup
It can be especially hard to gain closure after being ghosted. This is because there was no clear discussion stating that the relationship was over. You may have initially spent time wondering if something had happened to the person you were seeing, which caused them to be out of touch. After realizing that you’d been ghosted, you likely felt annoyed and upset that they ghosted you. It’s also common to feel foolish or embarrassed that you did not see it coming.
Applying the No Contact Rule is simple after being ghosted
The No Contact Rule is all about gaining closure and moving on after the end of a relationship. If you’ve been ghosted, you’ll certainly want to spend as little time as possible thinking about this person. Applying the no contact rule after being ghosted is straightforward. In fact, it may be easier to apply the No Contact Rule after being ghosted compared to after a regular breakup. This is because someone who ghosted you will have already decided they do not want to contact you again.
Related: Why Was I Ghosted After A Year Of Dating?
Here’s what you need to do:
- Decide on a period of time for which you want to apply the No Contact Rule e.g. two months
- Absolutely do NOT reach out to your ghoster
- Stop viewing their posts on social media or unfollow them
- If your ghoster reaches out to you, do not respond at all
- Keep yourself busy with friends, family, work, activities you love
If you successfully apply the No Contact Rule then you should be able to live your life without this person playing any role. Sure, you may miss them from time to time. You may even still reflect on your relationship and wonder what happened, as well as wonder why they ghosted you. That’s ok. If the relationship you had with this person meant a lot to you, then being ghosted may take time to get over. Things will get better. Promise!
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