How Many Days is Ghosting? It Depends on These 5 Factors.

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If you’re Googling “how many days is ghosting?” it’s likely that the person you’re chatting to has left you on read for longer than usual. It can be annoying or even stressful trying to figure out if you’ve been ghosted. If this is someone you really like, waiting for them to text and wondering if they’ve ghosted can be pretty frustrating.  So, how many days is ghosting? Generally speaking, anything from three days up to a week may be considered ghosting. How many days you wait before considering yourself ‘ghosted’ depends on several factors.

Factor 1. How serious is the relationship between the two of you?

If you are still getting to know this person, it’s reasonable to give them more time

The number of days you wait before considering yourself ghosted will somewhat depend on how serious the relationship is between the two of you. Say, for example, you are in the early stages of getting to know someone. This may be someone you met in real life or on a dating app. You do not have an established relationship and are clearly not high on their list of priorities. If they take a couple of days to get back to you, this may be reasonable in the context of your relationship. It does not necessarily mean that they are completely uninterested and have ghosted you. However, if it’s already been a week and they’ve not reached out, it’s pretty clear that they are not interested they’ve ghosted you.

If you have an established relationship with this person, their silence may make you feel something is ‘off’

On the other hand, if this is someone who you have already built up a relationship with and are seeing from time to time, things are different. If this person suddenly goes MIA and doesn’t message you for one or two days, this will likely feel ‘off.’ Sometimes, it’s not a specific number of days but your gut feeling that gives you the best indication as to whether you’ve been ghosted. If you feel that your relationship has recently changed, or they’ve demonstrated any red flags then you may have an inkling that you’ve been ghosted after just a day or two.

Related: He Left Me On Read, Why? 12 Reasons Why Guys Do This

Factor 2. How often do you usually communicate with this person?

If you didn’t message that frequently, give it a bit more time

If the two of you usually message once a day or every few days, it’s reasonable to give a slightly longer time frame e.g. one week before regarding their silence as ghosting. Given that you don’t communicate that frequently, there are probably many things that they do not tell you. Even if they had a genuine reason causing them to take longer to reply, they may not be willing to tell you over text.

If you message throughout the day, then receiving no text for 24 hours will feel like a big deal

If you had been seeing this person regularly and keeping touch throughout the day, you have a norm to compare to. Say, for example, they usually respond within a few hours but you find they have not responded for over a day. This may feel odd. If they do not respond for three days, unless they have a (very) legitimate excuse, it’s reasonable to assume something’s up. There is a high possibility you have been ghosted after three days of silence. Even if they do eventually reply after this period, don’t be surprised if they’re no longer keen.

Factor 3. Is there a legitimate reason for them being MIA?

If you are aware of any genuine reasons for this person being out of touch then this may be why they haven’t texted. There may be a wide range of reasons e.g. being swamped with work, traveling, personal issues, the list goes on. If they previously told you that they are especially busy with something at present then try not to worry that you’ve been ghosted. Instead, consider what they’ve already told you. They may not have told you the true scope of what they are going through. For all you know, they may even be under a lot of stress. Give them some space and see if they come to you.

On the other hand, if you know that there’s nothing special occupying them that could cause them to not message you, then this is a different story. Perhaps you know for a fact that they’re out and about as usual. Or maybe you’ve done a bit of Instagram stalking and know that they’ve been frequently partying with their friends. In this situation, if they’ve essentially been living life normally and failed to reply to you for several days, then it’s more likely you’ve been ghosted.

Factor 4. Have there been any red flags during your relationship that suggest they’re not that into you?

During your relationship, have you spotted any red flags that suggest they are 50/50 about you? Red flags include:

  • Being unreliable
  • Occasionally disappearing
  • Being flaky
  • Keeping you at arm’s length
  • A lack of enthusiasm on their part

Say, for example, during your relationship you’ve always felt a bit unsure about their feelings for you. You may have seen some red flags in their behaviour towards you. You may have even wondered if they are pocketing you. Perhaps they seemed uninterested to make plans with you. Or they didn’t seem too interested when you told them about your day. If they then go 2 days without replying your messages or reaching out, it’s quite likely that they’ve ghosted you.

On the other hand, things are different if this person has been reliable and you are confident that they are keen on the relationship. If you have zero reason to question them, then you may feel more inclined to give them benefit of the doubt. If they fail to text for 3 days, you may give them a little bit more time before considering yourself ghosted.

Factor 5. How many times did they leave you on read?

If you’re wondering “how many days is ghosting?” then it’s likely that you’ve been left on read. However, they number of messages that you sent receiving no reply can give an indication as to whether you’ve been ghosted. There’s a difference between someone failing to reply a single message and someone who repeatedly doesn’t reply. One should take this into account, together with the total number of days of silence.

Example 1. Being left on read for days after 1 message and no reply for 3 days

In this situation, the guy has not received any text for 3 days. He hasn’t double texted her and is patiently (or maybe not so patiently) waiting for her reply. It’s possible that he’s been ghosted. However, it’s also possible that something is occupying her causing her to forget to text him. It’s reasonable to wait a bit longer and see rather than jumping to the conclusion that he’s been ghosted.

Example 2. Being left on read for 3 days after several messages

As you can see, this girl has messaged the guy several times over 3 consecutive days. This is the same period of silence as seen in the first example. However, here it is pretty clear that the girl has been ghosted. Even though the guy has read her messages, he has failed to respond each time.

In summary, the more messages that you sent and they ignored, the more likely it is that they’ve ghosted you. Even if it’s not been that long e.g. 2 days of silence, they had several opportunities to respond to you. However, they chose not to.

I think I might have been ghosted but I’m not sure. Should I double text?

If this person has failed to respond to your initial message(s), you may be wondering whether you should double text. While some people may not think too hard before double texting, others may hesitate because they do not want to come across as pushy or desperate. It really depends on you. Here are some simple guidelines on double texting:

  • Give the other person time to respond first e.g. a day or two
  • If you do double text, send a simple follow up message and, again, give them time to respond
  • Do not send multiple texts in a row
  • Know when to call it quits if they are clearly not interested

For further information about double texting, you’ll want to read this article: Double Texting After Being Left On Read: Should You Do It?

How many days is ghosting? The conclusion

If you are questioning whether you’ve been ghosted, chances are, the other person is not replying to you as often as you’d like. Although every situation is different, you can firstly consider how frequently they are communicating with you now compared to previously. Other factors, such as how keen they seemed prior to their silence may also provide clues as to whether they’ve now ghosted you. Lastly, the number of messages that they failed to respond to also give an indication as to whether they are intentionally ghosting you.

You’ll probably know whether you’ve been ghosted in a few days time so sit tight for now

It can be frustrating if you are unsure as to whether or not you’ve been ghosted. However, if you give it a few more days then you’ll most likely have your answer. If they person ends up replying and there turns out to be a reason for them being MIA then you’ll no longer wonder. However, if they completely fail to text, then you can be pretty certain that you’ve been ghosted. If you’ve been ghosted, you may feel disappointed. However, at least you no longer need to wait around for a message that will never come.

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