If you’ve been messaging your ex, it may have come as a surprise if they’ve suddenly stopped replying. Maybe you thought the two of you were on friendly terms and you enjoyed chatting with them. However, if they’ve clearly read your last message but not replied, this may be puzzling. It’s also possible that you and your ex haven’t been speaking since your breakup and you’ve recently tried reaching out, only to be left on read. Regardless of which situation you are in, you might be now wondering “my ex left me on read, why?” Here’s the lowdown on being left on read by an ex.
Contents
- How long has your ex left you on read anyway?
- If you’re questioning “my ex left me on read, why?” firstly ask yourself why it bothers you
- Reason 1. They’re happy to small talk but don’t want to take things any further
- Reason 2. They think that you still have feelings for them and don’t want to give you the impression that they’re interested
- Reason 3. They find chatting to you distracting
- Reason 4. They’re planning to get back to you later
- Reason 5. They dislike you
- If you’re wondering “my ex left me on read, what should I do?” The answer is: you can try sending a follow-up text, or you can leave things be
- Look at the bigger picture
- Even if you want to chat with your ex, it’s their right to not want a relationship with you
How long has your ex left you on read anyway?
Have you been chatting to your ex on a regular basis? Or do you exchange texts sporadically with long periods of silence in between? Or is this the first time you’ve reached out after a long period of silence? Depending on the frequency of your communication and how long they’ve left you on read, their actions can have different meanings.
For example, if you have been messaging your ex daily and they’ve left you on read for a week, it’s possible that something has changed for them. Basically, they probably had a reason for not wanting to keep in touch with you. On the other hand, if you text each other daily and they haven’t replied you for two days, it could be that they just haven’t had the time to get back to you yet.
It’s different if you only message each other once in a while. If they’ve now left you on read for a couple of days, it’s not really a huge change from their usual behaviour. Frankly, it doesn’t sound as though there was much of a relationship between the two of you to begin with.
If you’re questioning “my ex left me on read, why?” firstly ask yourself why it bothers you
In the best instances, relationships with exes can be easy and smooth. However, in the worst cases, they can be awkward and tricky. Even if the two of you are able to get along well ostensibly, there may be (many) elephants in the room. When dealing with an ex, it’s common to feel as though there’s just a teensy bit of unfinished business or even lingering feelings between you.
Bearing in mind that relationships with exes can be a sensitive topic, you may be unsure about what to think of them leaving you on read. Does it bother you that your ex left you on read? Do you feel disappointed? Or are you simply curious? What do you actually want from your ex? Friendship? Or a feeling of security and re-assurance? Do you still have feelings for them?
Reason 1. They’re happy to small talk but don’t want to take things any further
Many people will respond to people who reach out to them to ask how they’re doing or chat casually about daily life. Your ex may have been fine with staying on friendly terms with you and messaging occasionally. However, they may have felt that your conversation reached a point where it was developing into something a bit more than casual chit chat.
It’s possible that even though they were happy to chat to you, they felt conscious about your chatter turning into a relationship e.g. friendship or something more than that. As a result, they decided to end things by walking away from the conversation.
Reason 2. They think that you still have feelings for them and don’t want to give you the impression that they’re interested
Do you still have feelings for your ex? Maybe you were messaging them frequently or flirting with them through text. If so, it’s likely that your ex picked up on this. If they do not feel the same way about you, chances are that they left you on read so as not to give you any false hope that they’re interested. Even if you are genuinely not interested in them in ‘that’ way anymore, it’s possible that they perceived your friendliness as romantic advances and got scared.
Related: Here’s What to Do if You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex
Reason 3. They find chatting to you distracting
After a breakup, it’s normal for it to take time for one or both people to come to terms with the relationship being over. Getting over an ex can be easy and straightforward, or it can be painful and difficult. Someone may require time to process their emotions and rebuild their life without the other person in it. People often find that removing reminders of their ex as well as cutting off contact completely can be helpful in getting over an ex.
It’s possible that your ex is not completely over your breakup and feels that chatting to you would make it more difficult for them to move on. Even if they are completely over your relationship, they may be happier without you in their life and feel that messaging you an unnecessary distraction. Another possibility is that they’re dating other people or already in a relationship and feel that messaging you would be pointless and not help them with what they are currently looking for.
Reason 4. They’re planning to get back to you later
Being left on read by an ex does not automatically mean that something happened or there’s a deep-rooted reason for them not replying. It could simply mean that they’re busy with life- as many people are. If it’s only been a day or two since they replied your message, they may be occupied with something and be planning to get back to you later. Or, depending on what the two of you were discussing, they may have not even realised that your message warranted a reply.
Related: He Left Me On Read, Why? 12 Reasons Why Guys Do This
Reason 5. They dislike you
Unfortunately, your ex may have left you on read because, well, they just don’t like you. Even if you still view them in a positive light and are keen to communicate with them, it does not mean that they feel the same way. There are many possible reasons as to why they may dislike you, such as them finding you annoying or the two of you just being too different. Realistically, it’s impossible to be friends with everyone in life. However, remember that there are plenty of other people who will value your company and want you in their life.
If you’re wondering “my ex left me on read, what should I do?” The answer is: you can try sending a follow-up text, or you can leave things be.
If you think that your text warranted a response, or you want to double check whether or not they intentionally left you on read, you can double-text. Here are some examples of follow-up messages you can send if your ex has left you on read:
- “Hey! Everything ok?”
- “How have you been?”
- “Was wondering if you’d had time to think about…(whatever it was you were discussing)”
If they end up replying, then great. If not, it’s time to walk away from the situation.
Related: Double Texting After Being Left On Read: Should You Do It?
Look at the bigger picture
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Clearly, the two of you were not that compatible and it was not possible for the two of you to be in a relationship that brought happiness for both of you. Even if it’s annoying or disappointing that your ex left you on read, you’ll just have to get over it. There’s not a great deal you can do. Frankly, if your ex is not interested in communicating with you, it’s clear they do not want to be ‘friends’ or anything else.
Even if you want to chat with your ex, it’s their right to not want a relationship with you
If it’s obvious that your ex left you on read because they do not want to chat with you, period, then the mature thing to do is to respect their decision. They may have a multitude of reasons for not wanting to talk to you, such as wanting a clean break from your relationship or even finding chatting to you too confusing. Their actions are telling you loud and clear that they are not interested in engaging with you and they do not owe you an explanation. Your best bet is to move on.
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