If you’re Googling “my long distance boyfriend is ignoring me after a fight,” you’re likely trying to figure out what your boyfriend is thinking after your argument and how to deal with the situation. Given the fact that he’s currently refusing to communicate with you and your last interaction was probably quite emotionally charged, it might be difficult for you to objectively look at the situation.
Is he ignoring you because he’s very angry? Or is it because he genuinely needs space? Or is he giving you the silent treatment to make you feel bad after your fight? Here’s the lowdown on what his silence might mean and the next steps you can take to try and resolve things with him.
Contents
- Arguments within a long-distance relationship can be hard. Why?
- Here are 5 possible reasons why your long-distance boyfriend may be ignoring you after a fight
- Reason 1. He’s angry and needs time to cool down
- Reason 2. He doesn’t know how to communicate what he is feeling and thinking and wants to gather his thoughts
- Reason 3. He’s processing his feelings
- Reason 4. He’s confused about your relationship
- Reason 5. He’s giving you the silent treatment
- If you want to find out why your long-distance boyfriend is ignoring you, the best way is to reach out to him and ask why
- Conclusion
Arguments within a long-distance relationship can be hard. Why?
Having arguments with a long-distance boyfriend or girlfriend can be difficult to deal with due to unique challenges, such as:
- The lack of real-life face-to-face contact makes it harder to see the other person’s body language and understand each other
- You are unable to touch or comfort each other
- You may be under time pressure due to a time zone difference
- The frustration of being apart and not being able to see each other can make both parties feel helpless at times
Silence = space and time apart
It’s important to understand that your long-distance boyfriend ignoring you likely indicates that he needs some space and time apart from you. Even it may be frustrating or hurtful that he is ignoring you, he may genuinely need a bit of distance from you for the time being. While he’s ignoring you, you can also take the opportunity to reflect on how you feel about your argument and your relationship.
Here are 5 possible reasons why your long-distance boyfriend may be ignoring you after a fight
Reason 1. He’s angry and needs time to cool down
If your fight was intense, it’s possible that you both said things in the heat of the moment that could have led to both of you feeling angry or even resentful. Your long-distance boyfriend may be ignoring you after your fight because he’s feeling overwhelmed by anger or even sadness and he needs time to cool down. It’s difficult to think clearly when one is in an emotional state and he may need some space to take a deep breath and calm down before speaking to you again.
Reason 2. He doesn’t know how to communicate what he is feeling and thinking and wants to gather his thoughts
Sometimes if a man ignores the person he is in a long-distance relationship with, it is because he is unsure how to communicate what he is feeling and thinking. He may need some time alone to gather his thoughts on his own. It’s possible he is trying to figure out how he feels about the things you fought about as well as how he feels about your relationship. He may also be trying to think of practical steps that the two of you can do to resolve your differences or compromise.
Reason 3. He’s processing his feelings
After a fight, both people may experience a range of negative emotions, including hurt, disappointment, frustration or even helplessness. Even if whatever issue you were fighting about was resolved, it can be difficult to immediately go back to being happy and continuing with things in a normal way. It’s possible that your long-distance boyfriend is still experiencing the aftermath of your fight and feels angry or hurt. He may be ignoring you because he is processing his own feelings and doesn’t yet feel comfortable with communicating with you.
Reason 4. He’s confused about your relationship
Depending on how serious your fight was and the effect it had on him, it’s possible that your long-distance boyfriend is now unsure about your relationship. If you argued about big issues (e.g. fidelity, your plans for the relationship) and struggled to see eye-to-eye or come to any kind of meaningful agreement moving forwards, there is a real risk that he may be having doubts about the relationship.
If your fight resulted in him losing trust in you, feeling that the two of you have different values or feeling that you do not love him, it’s possible that he is questioning your long-distance relationship. Unfortunately, ignoring you may be his way of showing that he’s not super keen to work on your relationship and that he instead prefers to distance from you.
Reason 5. He’s giving you the silent treatment
Your long-distance boyfriend may be giving you the silent treatment after your argument. You may be wondering, but if he’s ignoring me, isn’t this automatically the silent treatment? Not exactly and here’s why.
If your long-distance boyfriend is ignoring you after a fight, it could be because he is at a loss for how to respond. He may be genuinely struggling to process his own thoughts and feelings and simply not be in a position to reply your messages. If you’re asking him pressing quetisons, he may be trying to figure out how best to respond to you and deal with your conflict, as opposed to intentionally ignoring you.
The silent treatment is an intentional act whereby one person refuses to communicate with someone, often as a way to punish or emotionally manipulate or control the other person. If your long-distance boyfriend is giving you the silent treatment, he may be purposely ignoring you to scare you (“Does he not care about me? Is he going leaving me?”)
What to do if your long-distance boyfriend is ignoring you after a fight
If you’re wondering “why is my long-distance boyfriend ignoring me after a fight?” it’s evident that he hasn’t explicitly stated why he is ignoring you. It could be one or more of the 5 reasons mentioned previously. However, unless you have an honest and open discussion with him, it’s unlikely you’ll fully understand how he’s feeling.
If you want to find out why your long-distance boyfriend is ignoring you, the best way is to reach out to him and ask why
It may sound obvious but if you really want to know why he’s ignoring you then you’ll have to ask him directly. Just because he’s ignoring you right now does not mean that he will ignore you forever. After all, he is your boyfriend and not some random guy you’ve only known for a short while. If you’re wondering how to best ask him why he’s ignoring you, then here are some tips.
- Even though your long-distance boyfriend is ignoring you after a fight, it’s best to approach him in a calm, open minded manner
- Avoid placing blame or accusing him of wrongdoing
- If you wish, you can let him know how you feel about the situation
- Let him know that you are looking to resolve the conflict between you and find a way for the two of you to make up
Here are some examples:
Example 1.
“Hey, I realise that you’re not speaking to me at the moment. I feel sad that you’ve not answered any of my messages since our fight. Why are you refusing to speak to me? I would like to know what’s on your mind and have an open and honest discussion with you with a view to resolving the issues between us. Would that be possible?”
Example 2.
“Hi, how are you doing? I know that you’re not in the mood to speak to me. However, I want you to know that I care for you deeply and you are an important part of my life. Can we talk? I want us to be able to understand each other and come to a solution allowing us to move on.”
Example 3.
“Hey, you’ve been completely quiet since our fight. I realise you might need some space now. However, I’d really like us to try and work things out. Can we please speak on the phone?”
Conclusion
In conclusion, if you’re in the situation where you’re wondering “my long-distance boyfriend is ignoring me after a fight, what should I make of this?” then there are several possible reasons why. It could be because he simply needs some time to cool down, especially if your argument was heated. Or, it could be something more serious, such as him having doubts about your relationship.
Ultimately, the only way you can know for sure is by having an honest and open discussion with him. If the relationship means enough to him, he will eventually be open to speaking with you even if he’s still upset. Even though the two of you fought and you may still be angry at each other, it’s important to let him know that you still care for him. Once he is willing to speak to you, you can take things step by step to try and resolve matters between you.
Enjoyed this article? You may find these articles useful:
