Are you currently dating a guy and yet to define your relationship? Maybe you’ve been on enough dates to consider yourself ‘dating’ but you’ve not had any conversations about whether the two of you are ‘official.’ If you’ve been in social situations together where he’s called you a ‘friend’ this may feel like the wrong label as you are clearly more than just friends. As a result, you’re probably wondering “the guy I’m dating introduced me as his friend. What does this mean?”
The guy I’m dating introduced my as his friend. Why did he do this?
There are a couple of reasons as to why he may have introduced you as a friend.
Reason 1. You have not discussed whether your relationship is official or not
Many couples who have been dating will, at some point, discuss whether the relationship is ‘official.’ Sometimes it is obvious that both people view themselves as ‘being in a relationship’ without having a conversation. For example, maybe there is a clear connection between you and you start calling each other ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend.’ You make lots of future plans together. In this situation, presumably you both view the relationship as ‘official.’
However, without a proper discussion about what the relationship ‘is,’ many guys will be none the wiser as to whether you guys are official or not. They are often happy to continue dating without any sort of title, such as ‘girlfriend.’ When it comes to social situations, they will, by default, introduce you as a friend. This is because it has not been established whether the two of you are boyfriend and girlfriend. He may even be shy to call you his girlfriend if he’s not 100% sure about how you view him.
Reason 2. He enjoys dating you but doesn’t want to use titles such as ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ due to fear of losing his freedom
Even though this guy enjoys dating you, he may think twice before calling you a ‘girlfriend’ in public. Some guys, especially those who fear commitment, may be hesitant to be classed as being ‘in a relationship.’ Ironically, they may already devote a lot of time to their relationship with you and genuinely like you a lot. However, this type of guy may still fear labelling the relationship and prefer to keep things more casual. He may be scared that if you are an official ‘girlfriend’ that this will impact on his freedom. It’s possible he feels that having a proper girlfriend will bring responsibilities that he’s not keen to take on.
Reason 3. He’s keeping his options open
If the guy you’re dating introduced you as a friend, he may still want to keep his options open. This is especially true if he is coupley in private, yet in public, he treats you as a regular friend. By keeping your relationship under the table, other people will not realize that the two of you are dating. In social situations, he will be able to entertain interest from other people but still enjoy your company in private.
Related: “He doesn’t want to commit:” 4 Common Reasons Why and How to Deal
The guy I’m dating introduced me as his friend. What should I do?
Perhaps you’re ok with being called a ‘friend’ if you are still figuring out whether this guy is your type. However, if it bothers you that the guy you’re dating introduced you as his friend, ask yourself why.
- Is it because the two of you are already boyfriend and girlfriend?
- Do you feel like he’s doing it to keep his options open?
- Or, do you feel that even though you’ve not had any discussions about your relationship title, that it should be assumed you are more than just ‘friends’?
If you feel confused or unhappy about being called a ‘friend’ then it’s a good idea to bring it up with him and see what his thoughts are. You may wish to explore how he views the relationship between the two of you, e.g. does he see it as something casual without any commitment? Or, does he see a future between the two of you and would be keen to make the relationship ‘official’? It’s also a good opportunity to let him know how you view the relationship, too.
If it turns out that he’s not happy to call you his girlfriend even though you feel that your relationship constitutes a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, then it’s unlikely you’ll be happy with him. However, it’s possible that after bringing this issue with him that the two of you will reach a mutual understanding about your relationship and how to introduce each other in social situations.
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