If you’re a woman and considering dating a shorter man, you may be wondering whether height is really that big a deal. Perhaps you’ve only ever dated men the same height or taller than you and now you’re contemplating a shorter guy. Dating a shorter man may not be your first choice and you may have some reservations. Or, you’ve consciously decided to become a bit more flexible when it comes to who you will date and are now open to dating shorter men.
Among heterosexual couples, there is a general preference for women to date taller men. A 2013 study found that roughly half of women would only date men taller than them. Height is often considered a positive attribute and this is observed across many different cultures, including Western countries as well as countries like China.
Here are 5 things to consider if you’re considering dating a shorter man.
Dating a Shorter Man: Consideration 1. If you’re open to dating both taller and shorter men, you’ll have a broader range of options
It goes without saying that dating can be tough. It often takes dating different people to understand what you are looking for and what makes you happy in a relationship. You’ll likely have to date multiple people before finding that special someone. In other words, dating can somewhat be a numbers game. You’ll probably experience several different relationships before settling down, if that’s what you are seeking. It can be helpful if you have a larger pool of potentials to choose from in the first place.
Compatibility for a short-term relationship can be drastically different to compatibility for a long-term partner. At the end of the day, it will be someone’s personality, values and compatibility with you that determines whether the two of you will work out. It can be difficult to find what one is looking for, even if you’ve dated many different people already.
Most people have some preference when it comes to physical characteristics
Almost everyone has some preferences when it comes to physical characteristics of their ‘type’ or ideal partner. Some prefer blondes, some prefer brunettes. Others like a partner with an athletic build, whereas some are attracted to the dad bod. Height is often regarded as an important physical trait by many heterosexual women.
Depending on your own height, having a height requirement when it comes to dating men may drastically affect the size of the pool of men to date. For example, say you’re a 5 feet 9 female and only date men 5 feet 10 and above. This may exclude up to half (or more) of men, depending where you’re from. Whereas, if you’re 5 foot 4 and only date taller men, you’ll still have the vast majority of men to choose from. Putting it simply, by being open to dating both taller and shorter men, you give yourself a larger pool of potentials to choose from.
Dating a Shorter Man: Consideration 2. Height is only an issue if you consider it to be
Even though many people consider height an important factor when it comes to choosing who to date, it really doesn’t have to be. At the end of the day, it comes down to what you are looking for and what’s truly important to you. If you are seeking someone with a loving personality with common interests, there’s no reason as to why height should come into play at all. In fact, filtering out people based on their height may even result in you missing out on someone whose personality is truly compatible with yours.
Even though attraction can be immediate, many people will describe times when they developed attraction over time. When you meet someone for the first time, you’ll likely place more emphasis on their physical traits than if it’s someone you’ve gotten to know over a longer period. In fact, the person you may be immediately attracted to may simply not last the test of time. In the beginning, things may seem rosy. However, as you learn more about them and spend time together, that’s when you realize that perhaps you don’t have that much in common after all.
Attraction is multi-factorial
If you are someone who usually has a height preference, this does not mean that you will not end up being attracted to someone who is not your usual physical type. Attraction is multi-factorial. Perhaps you end up having a great time and tons in common with someone who is, say, shorter than guys you’d typically go for. In this way, you may develop serious attraction for this person, despite his height potentially causing you to hesitate in the beginning. If you are happy together in the relationship and develop a strong bond, that’s really the most important thing.
3. Dating a shorter man Consideration 3. People may make comments and/or pass judgement
Often, when we embark on a new relationship, the people around us will be quick to chime in and offer their opinions. This includes not only family and friends but even people we don’t know. If you end up dating a shorter man, be prepared for the possibility that other people may pass judgement. Sometimes, people make comments simply out of habit and idle chatter, rather than having any particular intention.
If you do find yourself being the target of people’s comments related to you and your man’s height difference, try not to take it to heart. Often, people will pass judgement if they see a relationship that doesn’t seem to fit their expectations of what a ‘typical’ relationship looks like. This can include uncommon age differences, orientation or even cross-cultural relationships. In these situations, remember that your relationship is none of their business. Your true friends may be interested to know how you feel about dating a shorter man, but they certainly will not pass negative judgment relating to your height difference.
If you date a shorter man, he may be subject to negative comments more than you
If you date a shorter man, it could be that any negative comments or jokes will be directed at your man more than you. For example, it would not be unusual if he was subject to comments. People may make remarks, such as “Hey man, how did you get her?” If he is secure and has a sense of humour, it’s likely he’ll take these remarks as a compliment and laugh them off. In fact, he may even take such comments as a compliment that he’s bagged an attractive lady.
4. Dating a shorter man Consideration 4. Dating a shorter man may affect what you wear
If you’re used to dating guys 6 feet tall and wearing high heels when you go out for dates with them, this may change if you end up dating a shorter man. Obviously, this is down to personal preference and the way you dress certainly does not have to change at all. However, many women who date shorter men report that they are less likely to wear high heels as they feel more comfortable. Perhaps it’s the tendency for women to want to feel smaller than their man. Or it’s just easier when you can communicate at eye level, rather than towering over him.
Heels or no heels?
If you are dating a shorter man, love wearing heels and don’t care about being taller than him, then good for you! However, maybe you are looking to avoid situations where the height difference between you is emphasized further. If this is you, then stick to wearing flats. You may need to adjust your wardrobe slightly to fit this requirement. However, there’s nothing to stop you wearing heels when you’re out with other people!
Dating a Shorter Man Consideration 5. It may take some getting used to
Whether we are prepared to admit it or not, many of us do have a ‘type’ when it comes to dating. Obviously, some people are more rigid than others when it comes to physical appearance. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to what physical traits we are attracted to. If you’ve been dating men the same height or taller your entire life, there’s no denying that things may feel somewhat ‘different’ if you are dating a shorter man for the first time. This is not to say that it’s necessarily a negative change. However, you may have to adjust some of your expectations that you’d gotten used to during previous relationships.
You may not be used to dating a shorter man in the beginning
You may be used to leaning up towards a taller man when he hugs you. Or you may enjoy the feeling of your man being physically taller and larger than you, even if you wear high heels. This will simply not be the case with a shorter guy. The man will certainly have positive attributes that are what attracted you to him in the first place. However, there’s no doubt that it may take you some time to getting used to him being shorter, if this is the first time you’re dating a shorter man.
Related: How to End an Online Dating Conversation
So, should you date a shorter man? Our answer: Absolutely!
Ultimately, there’s no reason why you can’t have an amazing, loving, happy relationship with a shorter man. At the end of the day, if the two of you ‘click’ and have a great time together, his height simply does not need to be an issue. Even if you have hesitations initially, his height will likely become less of an issue as time goes by.
In a relationship, when one gets to know and appreciate the other person’s personality and values, physical traits simply become less important. It’s more about the bigger picture. Sure, dating a shorter man may have been the last thing on your mind. It may have even been something you were resistant to. However, if you are able to be open-minded then you can let go of any preconceived standards you had, as well as disregard judgment by other people. In the end, you may just end up finding everything you were seeking in a relationship.
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