Trying to figure out the signs you’re being ghosted by a friend? You are likely in a situation where someone who used to be a decent friend has started to go MIA. It may be hard to tell if they’re genuinely busy or if something’s off. Maybe you used to chat all the time and felt comfortable sharing details of your life with this friend. Or, perhaps the two of you used to see each other regularly but now they seem uninterested.
If the relationship has become one-sided, with you being the only one to put in effort, you may question whether they want to be friends at all. Since they’ve not given any explanation for their behaviour you may be wondering if they are ghosting you as a way of ending the friendship. Here are 5 signs you’re being ghosted by a friend.
Sign 1. They don’t reach out to you anymore
The most obvious sign that you’re being ghosted by a friend is if he or she fails to reach out at all. In a healthy friendship, both people will be keen to be in touch with each other. Obviously, the frequency of which you communicate depends on how close the two of you are. Best friends will likely feel comfortable messaging each other often, sharing details of their lives or even funny things that happened during the day. However, friends who only see each other occasionally will probably only message from time to time.
If a friend who previously took initiative to reach out to you has stopped doing so, this is a warning sign that you may get ghosted. Of course, someone may struggle to stay in touch with friends if they are going through a difficult time e.g. personal or family issues. The same is true if they are particularly busy e.g. with work, school or dealing with life events e.g. relocation. However, unless you know of a good reason for them to be out of touch for a prolonged period, then chances are, they are no longer keen to stay friends.
Put it this way, someone who sees you as a friend and feels they have things in common with you will appreciate having you in their life. Even if this friend is not someone you see very often, they will still make some effort to maintain the friendship. However, a person who no longer sees value in your friendship will not bother to reach out to you as, frankly, they do not feel it’s worth their time.
Sign 2. They always have an excuse for not meeting up with you
Have you tried to make plans with this ‘friend’ only to be declined every time? They may have a variety of reasons for not being able to meet up with you. However, if it’s reached a stage where it’s become impossible to meet up with them, it’s likely because they do not want to meet. Instead of telling you that they do not want to meet, they are hoping that you’ll eventually get the hint and stop suggesting meeting up.
It’s normal for people to go through busy periods where they are genuinely stretched and, as a result, do not have much time to dedicate to friends. However, if it’s been a very long time and they are still not free to see you, then it really begs the question: do they even want to see you at all? What makes it even more obvious that they are deliberately declining your invitations is if you can see from social media that they are very busy socializing with other friends.
Sign 3. They don’t share anything with you anymore
Presumably if you and this friend used to get along well, you would have been able to communicate openly about your lives and voice your opinions. However, perhaps you now find that they are unwilling to share things with you and the conversation is far more superficial. If this friend has become quite closed and distant then this will be noticeable.
It can feel hurtful if a friend who previously used to share details of their life with you now seems closed off. This is a sign that they either don’t feel comfortable telling you things or they simply don’t see any benefit in sharing with you. Even if you try to ask how they are doing, they may give vague answers, such as “I’m doing well” without elaborating any further. Unfortunately, this is a sign that you may end up being ghosted by this friend.
Sign 4. You’ve had conflict with this friend
It’s normal to have conflicts with friends from time to time. Conflict can arise for many different reasons, e.g. differences of opinion, one person unintentionally saying hurtful things, or even behaviours like being persistently late. Sometimes, conflict between friends may end up having a lasting effect on one or both people. Unfortunately, even if you are willing to forgive and forget and move on, it does not necessarily mean that your friend is keen to do so.
Does it feel as though your friend has become distant after a recent conflict? If it’s clear to you that your friendship is not what it used to be, it’s possible that they are no longer keen to remain friends. Even if you feel that the issue between you was resolved, they may not feel the same way. If they are now acting cold and failing to reach out, this is a sign that you’re being ghosted by this friend.
Sign 5. Your friend’s tone has changed
Any good friend that enjoys your company will be happy to hear from you. They will take an interest in your life and the things that are important to you. Furthermore, they will be kind and respectful towards you. This will be reflected in their tone when the two of you message or speak to each other. They will be happy to hear from you and be enthusiastic about reaching out to you themselves.
A friend who is in the process of ghosting you will have already decided that your friendship is not of value to them. As a result, their tone of voice will be uninterested and uncaring. Even if they reply to your messages, they’ll likely come across as bored or even cold. They will not bother to continue the conversation or ask about your well-being For example:
Person A: Hey! How are you doing? How’s the new job going?
Person B (who is ghosting person A): Fine, thanks.
It’s possible that they may still be polite and superficially friendly towards you. However, you may sense that this is not sincere. For example:
Person A: Hi! How have you been? I have so much to tell you about my new job! Feel like grabbing a bite to eat on the weekend?
Person B (who is ghosting person A): Sorry, got plans this weekend.
It will be quite obvious if this friend’s tone has changed, and they are no longer enthusiastic about being friends with you. Instead of telling you directly that they are not interested in being friends, their tone of voice makes it clear that they are gradually ghosting you.
If you’re being ghosted by a friend, you’ll grow tired of being the only one to make effort
Do you feel that after reading our 5 signs you’re being ghosted by a friend, you feel that your friend fits the mould and you’re pretty sure you’re being ghosted? Chances are, you feel that the relationship has become more and more one-sided with you being the only one to initiate conversation or make effort. It can become very tiring when you feel like you are the only one to care about the friendship. Unfortunately, if the friend you are dealing with has shown any of the 5 signs above, then it’s quite possible that they are ghosting you. If they are unwilling to communicate with you then it can be difficult to find out their reasons for not wanting to be friends.
Being ghosted by a friend and not sure what to do? Ask yourself: how much does this friend mean to you?
If this friendship means a lot to you, it’s it may be worth finding out what’s going on and asking them why they’ve become distant. There may be reasons that never occurred to you and there may be ways to rectify the situation. However, if this friend has made up their mind to end the friendship by ghosting you, they may not give you any meaningful answer. If this is the case, there’s not much you can do. Even if you enjoyed some good times with this friend, it may be better to accept that some friendships are not meant to last forever.
Enjoyed this article? You may also find these articles useful:
