Have you been with your girlfriend for a while and are now having doubts as to whether your relationship has a future? Perhaps you’re questioning whether the two of you are truly compatible. Or, there may be issues in your relationship that are making you ask yourself: should I break up with my girlfriend? No one likes breakups. However, if you are experiencing any of the following issues in your relationship, breaking up may be necessary.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 1: The two of you want different things
Relationships often start out rosy and exciting. The thrill of that initial attraction and getting to know someone new can be exhilarating. You may spend a lot of time dreaming about your new partner. However, over time, you will get to know each other’s true personalities, both the good and bad. It may also become apparent that the two of you have different relationship goals.
It’s fair to say that at any given moment of time, we each have different priorities and aspects of life that require more attention. This may include career plans or personal goals. When it comes to relationships, you need to honestly ask yourself what you are looking for. For example, you may be happy with having a girlfriend just ‘for now’ with no plans to get married anytime soon. However, if your girlfriend is looking to get married in the next two years and start a family, this is clearly incompatible.
If the two of you have very different relationship goals then you will likely both end up being disappointed. It’s worth discussing where you both see the relationship going and how this fits in with your lives. If you want to stay together then you’ll need to reach a middle ground that both of you are comfortable with. However, if you are unable to reach a compromise that suits both of you, breaking up may be the only option.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 2: You keep arguing about the same thing
Every relationship will have conflict that require both people to work through. This may range to small pet peeves to bigger issues like trust, family or financial issues. If you find that you are constantly having the same argument repeatedly, this is a bad sign. It’s important to be able to address any conflict in the relationship when it arises. This may involve discussing the core issues and coming up with an amicable solution. However, if you are unable to do this as a couple, it’s not surprising when conflict can escalate to the extent that it causes the relationship to break down.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 3: You do not trust your girlfriend
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Without trust, it’s difficult to feel loved and content in the relationship. After all, this is someone who you spend a great deal of time with and a person whom you share your life with and turn to in times of need. Has something happened that has caused the trust to break down between you and your girlfriend? Have you tried addressing the issue? If you’ve tried addressing any issues and are still unable to rebuild trust, it will be difficult for your relationship to progress. Ultimately, if you are unable to trust your girlfriend, it may be time to break up.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 4: You’re just not that into her
Unfortunately, many relationships have an expiry date. You may have been the sweetest lovebirds at the start of your relationship, but perhaps over time, the feelings have started to fade. It’s natural that the infatuation in the beginning may turn into a deeper kind of love that is less ‘exciting.’ However, if you feel that you have started to fall out of love with your girlfriend, or that you simply aren’t into her anymore, this is a bad sign. Maybe you feel that you simply do not have strong feelings for your girlfriend and, as a result, are simply not that into the relationship. When one or both people stop trying then it simply becomes meaningless being together. If this is happening to you, it’s important to be honest with yourself and break up with your girlfriend. It could be that she’s not feeling things, either.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 5: You’re interested in someone else
If you find that you’re seriously interested in another girl, do yourself and your girlfriend a favour and end things. The fact that you are considering other people shows that for whatever reason, you are not quite satisfied in your current relationship. Your girlfriend deserves someone who loves her for who she is. She does not need a boyfriend who is half-hearted about the relationship and is secretly pining after another girl. Sure, you may still care deeply about your girlfriend and may have a million reasons to not break up with her. However, if you are not wholeheartedly involved in the relationship and she is, it’s not fair to her. Break ups suck, but you are not being true to yourself by staying in a relationship in which you are not satisfied.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 6: You have that gut feeling that things are just not right
Sometimes it may simply be your gut feeling that tells you that this girl is simply not right for you. It could be that your girlfriend is amazing and you do love her. However, something feels missing. This is actually quite a common scenario and it can often be difficult to pinpoint what is exactly ‘wrong.’ This does not necessarily mean you should break up with your girlfriend. However, it may indicate that you need to take some time to evaluate where you are in life and where your relationship is going.
Are there things that you need to do on your own i.e. goals you need to achieve alone and as a single person? Do you feel that the relationship has turned stale over time? Is your girlfriend perfect on paper but simply not someone you picture yourself being with long-term? Are there parts of you that don’t feel understood in the relationship? These are some of the questions that may run through your mind. It may require some soul-searching to determine what is lacking in your relationship. If you find that after weighing up the pros and cons that you are better off not being together, then it’s time to break up with your girlfriend.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 7: You can’t be yourself around her
At the start of a relationship, we often put on our best face to make a great impression on the other person. Over time, it’s natural to let one’s guard down as trust builds up between the two of you. For example, you may not care about your girlfriend seeing you when you are stressed or run down. You may also feel comfortable enough to open up to her about your problems and insecurities. One of the best parts of a relationship is knowing that you trust the other person enough to share your deepest fears. Ideally, your partner is someone who is there for you during hard times and can offer you moral support.
Unfortunately, some people find that despite spending a lot of time together, they still do not feel comfortable enough to be themselves around their girlfriend. If you are feeling this, you should ask yourself: why? Is it because you feel that she would judge you? Or, do you feel she would simply not understand or relate to any problems you are facing? It’s hard to continue in a relationship where you do not feel that you can be yourself. Always putting on your best face (or pretending to be someone you are not) will ultimately become tiring and leave you feeling unfulfilled. You may even end up feeling lonely in the relationship, or that something is missing. Breaking up with your girlfriend because you do not feel you can be yourself around her is a very valid reason.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? Situation 8: You don’t enjoy your time together
If, for whatever reason, you find that you no longer enjoy spending time with your girlfriend, this is a huge red flag. Your partner may be the person you dedicate most of your time to. The whole point of being in a relationship is to share happiness and laughter together, as well as life’s challenges. Sure, it might not be happy go lucky all the time. There will certainly be ups and downs requiring you to support each other through. However, if you find that you simply don’t enjoy spending time with your girlfriend, it begs the question: what is the point in being together?
Maybe you’ve outgrown the relationship. Or, there’s something about her behaviour that you have started to dislike. Perhaps, she’s not who you thought she was. There are many potential reasons as to why you may not enjoy spending time with your girlfriend. Ultimately, the whole point of being in a relationship is to share your life with someone that you love and trust. If you are simply not enjoying the relationship and it brings you more burden than happiness, it’s a clear sign that you should break up with your girlfriend.
Should I break up with my girlfriend? The take home message
In conclusion, there are many reasons as to why you may be considering breaking up with your girlfriend. Perhaps you’ve simply fallen out of love with her. Or, maybe the relationship has gone stale and you no longer look forward to spending time with her like you used to. Is there another girl that you’ve got eyes for? Or is there something seriously bothering you about your girlfriend that you cannot get past?
Ultimately, if you have been doubting the relationship for some time it may be difficult to pinpoint exactly what the problem is. However, it’s important to trust your gut feeling when something feels ‘off,’ especially when it comes to relationships. The whole point of being with someone is to share your lives together and enjoy both good times and bad. If you are simply not getting much out of the relationship, it’s probably time to break up with your girlfriend. Sure, break ups are tough and you may be dreading it. However, you’re better off doing yourself and your girlfriend a favour by breaking up if you’re simply not feeling it.
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