Are you interested in online dating as a short man? Or, maybe you’ve already been using dating apps for a while and are wondering how to improve your game. You may have encountered issues in your dating life that are unique to being a short man. Even if you’re confident in your own skin and are happy with your height, you may feel as though some women prefer taller guys. You may have even experienced being made fun of by other people due to your height and are probably keen to avoid this.
What is considered ‘short’ nowadays anyway?
‘Short’ is a relative term. One guy who is 5”8 may consider himself short. However, another guy who’s 5”8 may not think of himself as ‘short’ at all. Several factors come into play, such as the country you live in and how tall the guys in your social circle are. In the US, the average male height is 5”9 but in other countries men are significantly shorter e.g. India where the average man is 5”6. In the Netherlands, the average man is 6 feet tall.
Do girls mind about height?
If you’re a short guy, you’re probably aware of the reality that many girls do have a height preference when it comes to dating. In general, women like guys to be taller than themselves and may even have an ideal height e.g. 6 feet. However, just because many women have an ideal height, it does not mean that they do not date short guys.
Ask yourself this: did every girl you dated possess the ideal physical traits you have in your head for choosing a romantic partner?
Maybe you prefer girls who are 5”6 and brunette. Does this mean that you wouldn’t date a girl who’s 5”2 and blonde with an infectious personality that you have a great time with?
The reality is, if you ‘click’ with someone, physical characteristics become less relevant. It’s absolutely possible and realistic that you may have chemistry with or even fall in love with someone who does not meet your ideals, physically.
Remember: attraction is multi-factorial
There are many traits aside from physical appearance that make a person attractive, including:
- Confidence
- Empathy
- Intelligence
- Honesty
- Maturity
- Creativity
- Health-conscious
The list goes on. In fact, we are often much more flexible than we realize when it comes to choosing a partner. For example, a girl who usually considers height to be important may end up dating a short man who possesses other qualities that she finds attractive.
There are many ways in which a short man can be viewed as more attractive than a tall man, for example:
Short + intelligent + health-conscious vs. tall + not particularly intelligent + not health conscious
Short + mature vs. tall + immature
Short + treats others respectfully vs. tall + rude
It’s also about the WAY in which you date. For example:
Short + dates people who are emotionally available vs. tall + dates people who don’t know what they want
Short + knows his worth + dates people who treat him respectfully vs. tall + accepts being treated poorly in relationships
Short + knows what he wants in a partner vs. tall + is indecisive
Basically, height is a SINGLE factor that may affect your dating success. However, there are PLENTY of other factors that come into play when it comes to dating, including knowing yourself, knowing what you want and dating people who are emotionally available.
Without further ado, here are 5 tips for online dating as a short man
Tip 1. Focus on your best qualities
If you’re online dating as a short man, it’s important to identify what makes you special and know what you have to offer. Instead of wondering how to best do online dating as a short man, try asking yourself: what are the special qualities I possess that other people will appreciate? Perhaps you’re adventurous and open-minded. Or, your positivity is infectious. Know yourself and what you are worth and go for what you want.
Tip 2. Be honest about your height
If you’re online dating as a short man, your best bet is to be upfront about your height. Ideally, you’ll want to include it on your dating profile so that anyone who matches with you is already aware of your height. If you haven’t included your height in your dating profile and someone asks how tall you are, then be honest.
The last thing you want is to show up for a first date and for the other person to feel that you’ve lied to them from the get-go. Not only may the other person feel that you’ve wasted their time but it’s a waste of your time, too. If you’re 5”5 then you’re 5”5 and this is who you are. There is absolutely no reason to lie.
Tip 3. Don’t make assumptions about what other people are looking for height-wise
Sure, there are many women who prefer much taller men. However, many women are also open to dating a guy the same height or shorter than them. You simply do not know who has a height preference unless it’s stated on their dating profile or if they tell you.
Put yourself out there
Say, for example, you come across a girl that seems absolutely your type but she’s 6 feet tall. You might feel a bit reluctant to reach out to her due to thinking that she probably won’t consider a short man. You’re still better off striking up a conversation and seeing if and how she responds to you than assuming that she won’t go for a short man. You simply never know! Even if you get rejected, so be it.
Tip 4. If a girl wears heels around you, don’t make a big deal about it
Many girls love wearing high heels. Some will continue to wear them even if they are dating a short man and not care if it makes them taller than the man. If this is what floats her boat, then be happy for her.
Tip 5. Know what you are looking for when online dating i.e. what does ‘success’ in online dating mean to you?
It cannot be stressed enough that it’s important to know what you are seeking when online dating as a short man. Even if you’re just dipping your toes in casually, take a moment to ask yourself: “what am I actually looking for?” Are you looking for casual short-term relationships? Or are you looking for something more serious? This is universal to anyone who’s doing online dating and not just short men.
What is your idea of ‘success’ when it comes to online dating?
What are you trying to achieve by doing online dating? Are you looking to date as many good-looking people as possible? Or are you seeking a potential long-term partner?
If you’re just looking for fun, the other person’s values and life plans are probably not that important during online dating. However, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, then you will want to get to know people on a deeper level to see if they are genuinely compatible with you.
How to deal with commonly encountered online dating scenarios as a short man
Scenario 1. Someone asks you how tall you are
If someone you’ve matched with asks how tall you are, be honest. If you’re thinking to yourself something like “well I’m probably 5”6 on a good day while wearing those particular sneakers” however you are more like 5”5, then say that you are 5”5. You are far better off being blunt. Exaggerating your height will only annoy the other person when they finally meet you in-person.
Scenario 2. A girl (or guy) says she only dates guys who are a certain height or taller than themselves
If you receive a rejection purely based on height, then brush it off and move on. Just say something like “no worries” and leave things be. Yes, it can really suck. If you had any insecurities about your height to begin with, being told by other people that they’re not interested in you because you’re not tall enough doesn’t help. However, there are plenty of fish in the sea. The right person for you will accept you for who you are. Anyone who doesn’t is just not right for you.
4 girls’ opinions on dating shorter men
1. Personality and confidence are far more important than height
“Among my girl friends, most of them do have a height preference. They strongly prefer the guy to be taller than them. However, they have been on dates with guys who are the same height or even shorter. I know tall girls who are 5”10 and are open to dating shorter guys simply because they feel that by only dating guys taller than themselves, they have fewer options.
At the end of the day, I’d be lying if I said girls don’t prefer taller men. However, I know girls who have fallen in love with short guys because they have so many other wonderful qualities. Basically, short guys will have somewhat of a disadvantage from the get-go. However, personality and confidence are far more important.”
2. The relationship didn’t work out but it wasn’t height-related
“I dated a short man for 1 year. Being completely honest, it took a bit of getting used to as I’d only ever dated guys my height or taller. I did feel slightly self-conscious about not wearing heels or appearing ‘big’ next to him.
What drew me to him was his outrageous sense of humour, which was so politically incorrect and out there. I found myself shocked and laughing non-stop at his comments on day to day things. He was also very street smart and an intelligent person. The relationship didn’t work out in the end but it wasn’t anything related to his height.”
3. My short husband is the best partner I could have ever hoped for
“I’m married to a short man who is the best partner I could have ever hoped for. He is smart, caring, confident, capable and gets me. We are best friends and soul mates. In the past I’d only ever dated guys who are 6 feet tall so it did feel a bit strange at first dating a short man. However, it really is just a physical trait that does not affect our life in any way. I would highly recommend all girls to consider dating short men if they haven’t already.”
4. It’s all about personality
“The guys I’ve dated in the past include both tall and short men. Yes. Tall is preferable but short is ok too. It’s all about their personality.”
Online dating as a short man: The take home message
When online dating as a short man, you may feel that tall guys have an unfair advantage over you. However, success in online dating depends on so many factors that you do have control over. This includes:
- Your personality and confidence
- How you treat others during online dating
- Knowing what you want
- Dating people who want similar things to you
Yes, there will be some people who will flat out refuse to date a short man. However, it does not matter. There are people who will refuse to date people for all kinds of other reasons, including their race, religion, being a divorcee, etc. Remember that the right person will accept you for who you are and appreciate what you have to offer. There are so many ways in which you can have an edge over other guys that are 100% within your control.
Enjoyed this article? You may find these articles useful:
