Have you recently realized that you’ve been ghosted by your ex after breaking up? If your breakup was amicable and the two of you were on good terms initially, being ghosted may come as a surprise. Even if the two of you were not super friendly after the relationship ended, it still may feel a bit harsh to have been ghosted completely.
If you were hoping to maintain a relationship with your ex, being ghosted by an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend can be hurtful. Sometimes, the thought of never seeing an ex again can be difficult to process, as they may have previously been a big part of your life. Here are 3 common reasons as to why you may have been ghosted by your ex after breaking up.
Reason 1. Your ex ghosted you because they want to move on
Regardless of whether you ended things on good terms, breakups can be hard on both people. It is common for it to take some time to get over the relationship. This is especially the case if you were in a serious relationship. Many people find it helpful to remove reminders of the other person as it can help them to move on.
If your ex had been a big part of your life, breaking up means you both then need to find other things to occupy your time. This may involve meeting up with other people or other activities to keep you busy. Even if initially, you stayed in touch with your ex, or even continued as ‘friends’, it can sometimes make it harder to move on from the relationship. Spending time together can make it easy to fall into comfortable old habits, which can be confusing for both people involved.
They may find it difficult to maintain boundaries if they continue to talk to you
If you have been ghosted by an ex, they may have done so to make it easier to move on. Though it seems harsh, ghosting after a breakup can be a way for them to establish boundaries. By cutting off contact from you, it allows them more space to process their own thoughts and feelings after the breakup. It also allows them to focus on spending time with other people instead of you.
While you may find being ghosted by your ex hurtful, it may actually be beneficial for you. It can be difficult to maintain platonic boundaries with exes if you are constantly in touch with them. This is especially true if you still have some feelings for each other.
They may be applying the No Contact rule after your breakup
Many people find that applying the No Contact rule after a breakup helps them to move on from the relationship. This involves:
- Not reaching out or responding to any messages from an ex
- No phone calls
- No seeing each other in-person
- Not posting on Social Media with the intention of an ex viewing the post
It’s possible that your ex blocked you after your breakup because they are applying the No Contact rule. They may have felt that blocking you was the easiest way of preventing any communication between the two of you.
Reason 2. Your ex ghosted you because they’ve met someone else
Another possibility is that your ex has started seeing someone new. Whether or not they’ve completely gotten over breaking up with you, they ghosted because they do not want any contact with you. They may have less desire to speak to you because they are occupied with their new guy or girl. Alternatively, they may feel that regularly being in touch with you is unfair to the new person they are dating.
Tim’s story
“I had recently gotten out of a six-month relationship. I felt we didn’t have a future with me moving to another city soon. We agreed to call it quits and stay as friends, which was fine. A couple of weeks after I moved, I met someone new and things progressed quite quickly. We really liked each other. One day, my new girlfriend noted that my ex kept posting flirty comments on my Instagram posts and messaging me. I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest. However, it was obvious she wasn’t happy about us being in touch so regularly. I decided the simplest thing was to cut off contact with my ex.”
Reason 3. Your ex ghosted you because they simply don’t believe in staying in touch with exes
There are some people who simply maintain strict boundaries with people in their lives. They may prefer to have a clean slate after breaking up with someone. While many people are able to stay friends with exes, some people do not enjoy doing this. Staying friends with exes can sometimes be confusing especially if there are still some underlying feelings. It can even become complicated if one person is trying to get the other person back.
They might the type that blocks all of their exes
This type of person prefers to cut off communication all together after breaking up. To them, it’s nothing personal and it’s not specific to that ex. They feel that being friends or staying in touch with exes is pointless and complicated. In their eyes, the relationship is over and their priority is moving on swiftly.
If you’ve been ghosted by an ex, don’t feel bad
If you find that you’ve been ghosted by an ex after breaking up, don’t despair. It might seem harsh or cruel, but ultimately, the two of you are broken up. You do not have much of a say over their actions. Nor do they owe you anything, including being your friend. Most likely, they ghosted you for their own reasons, as opposed to anything you did. It is important to respect their need for space. They may simply need space and time away from you to heal from the breakup and allow them to focus on the future. Instead of wondering why they ghosted you, you’d be better off moving on.
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