He Ghosted Me But Didn’t Unfriend Me, Why?

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If you’ve unfortunately been ghosted by a guy you may be trying to figure out why he didn’t want to be with you. What made him change his mind? Was there someone else? These are common questions that may run through one’s mind after they’ve been ghosted by a guy. What can make things more confusing is when you realize that the two of you are still friends on social media e.g. Facebook or Instagram. His photos and posts may be constantly popping up on your newsfeed even though the two of you have zero communication. This may cause you to wonder “he ghosted me but didn’t unfriend me, why?”

Why do people unfriend other people on social networking sites?

Common reasons for someone unfriending another person include:

Falling out with each other
Finding the other person’s posts annoying or offensive
You are no longer in touch
They don’t want to be associated with you

It’s normal to find it odd if your ghoster has not unfriended you. You may be wondering “if he wants nothing to do with me, why would he still want to see my posts (and vice versa)?” You may even be wondering if the fact that he didn’t unfriend you means he still cares. However, it’s important to focus on the fact that this guy essentially broke up with you and had zero consideration towards how it would make you feel.

Here are 4 possible reasons as to why he ghosted you but didn’t unfriend you

Reason 1. He doesn’t want to be with you but keeping you as a friend on social media allows him to be nosey

Social networking sites are the perfect way of getting to know what people are up to in their lives. Without even asking, one can potentially know the places you go, the people you hang out with and how you look like today. It’s super easy to snoop around without no one even knowing. It’s possible that this guy ghosted you but didn’t unfriend you because he still has some curiosity about you even though he doesn’t want to be with you. If he feels like nosing around, he can simply click on your profile and look through your photos to see what you’ve been up to.

Reason 2. It didn’t occur to him to unfriend you

Many people are happy to keep all kinds of ‘friends’ on their social media accounts and do not unfriend people unless there’s a compelling reason to do so. These types may have a huge number of friends or followers and include people they’ve met throughout all stages of their life. This may include ex-girlfriends or acquaintances, or even complete randoms. A lot may be people they never see and have no chance of seeing again in the future.

Even though he ghosted you, he may not have seen any need to unfriend you. In his eyes, the relationship is over between you. Being ‘friends’ on Facebook or Instagram doesn’t bother him at all. It likely doesn’t matter to him that you can see his photos and posts and vice versa.

Reason 3. He likes the fact that you can see what he’s up to

If the guy who ghosted you is at all self-involved or narcissistic, he may actually enjoy the fact that you can see his profile and posts. It’s possible that he feels good about showing his life and all the fun he’s having to people, including exes. Even though he wants to have nothing to do with you, he may want you to know what a great life he’s having. Unfortunately, if you’re still not over being ghosted and his fun party pics are constantly popping up on your newsfeed, this can really rub salt in the wound.

Reason 4. He wants to keep you as a ‘friend’ in case he changes his mind later

If this guy is thinking he can pick you up and drop you at his convenience, he may be keeping you as a ‘friend’ in order to maintain ways of reaching you in the future. If he later on starts to miss you or regret ghosting you, he’ll find it easy to get back in touch. This is not to say that you should be holding out for him in case he returns. When a ghoster becomes a zombie, it can make things even more confusing, especially if you still have some feelings for him.

If your ghoster didn’t unfriend you, try not to think too much into it

It may seem weird that a guy who wants nothing to do with you is still happy to be ‘friends’ on social media. However, it really does not mean much. Do not mistaken him being a ‘friend’ on social media as meaning that he cares about you. The fact is that the two of you no longer have a relationship. He does not want to talk to you, nor does he want to see you.

Whether he’s keeping you as a ‘friend’ on Facebook because he’s curious about your life or simply because he forgot to unfriend you, it does not matter. You’ll probably never figure out exactly why he didn’t unfriend you and it’s rather futile wondering. What’s more important is that you forget about him and move on.

If he ghosted me but didn’t unfriend me, what should I do?

If you find it annoying seeing reminders of the guy who ghosted you on your newsfeed then you can be the one to unfriend him. There’s no reason why you need to be subjected to his posts and photos on a regular basis. If you felt pretty burned after he ghosted you, why would you want to see what he’s up to? After all, this is someone who lacked respect for you and cut you out of his life without any concern for how it could make you feel.

However, it doesn’t bother you that the two of you are still ‘friends’ then you can simply leave things be. Maybe you were not that into him to begin with. Or, being ghosted didn’t affect you much and you’re already over it. It’s fine to leave him as a friend if you’re ok with that, too.

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