Whether you’re newly single or you’ve been single for a while, you may be thinking to yourself “being single is boring, what can I do?” You’d certainly not be alone if you sometimes wonder how to pass the time. If it feels like everyone else around you is coupled up, you may find it even harder to fill up your social calendar.
First of all, don’t despair. It’s important to maintain perspective. Realize that being single is actually a very special time in your life in which you have freedom and flexibility. Furthermore, being single is also important for self-growth. There are plenty of productive ways to keep yourself occupied so that you’ll stop thinking that being single is boring.
First things first: being single is a great thing
It can be hard to view being single as a positive thing if you’re used to being in a relationship or looking for a partner. However, it’s all about perspective. Sure, you may often spend time alone but this does not have to mean that you have to be ‘lonely’. There are many reasons why being single is a great thing:
- You have absolute freedom to do what you want, when you want
- You can make future plans based on what aligns with your ambitions in life
- It’s easier to figure out your goals and priorities when you are alone
- You will learn to be more independent as you don’t necessarily have someone to turn to 24/7. This means managing daily life and problem-solving independently.
- Singles often have more time to cultivate strong friendships as when you are in a relationship it’s easy to rely on one person for everything
- You’ll be able to dedicate more time to your career which may even advance quicker than if you were in a relationship
Being single is 100% better than being in the wrong relationship
Being single may not feel ideal at times. However, it is absolutely better than being in the wrong relationship. Being with someone who does not respect or value you can easily affect one’s self-esteem. Or, if you are in a relationship with someone who does not allow you to be your true self, you may end up feeling like you have to change yourself for them.
If are in a relationship with someone who has incompatible life goals and values, it’s easy to feel confused or conflicted. You may end up disagreeing about fundamental issues and this can be stressful for both people. Ultimately, if you are with the wrong person, this is a sure recipe for unhappiness.
Being single is boring, how can I occupy my time?
Here are our 5 top tips on how to deal if you feel that being single is boring.
Tip 1. Make an effort to spend time with good people
Spend time with good friends, whether they are coupled up or not. Try to spend your time with sincere, true friends who love you for who you are. No one will judge you for being single if they truly care about you.
Tip 2. Put yourself out there
Putting yourself out there means being proactive and pushing yourself outside your usual comfort zone. Be proactive about meeting up with friends, both old and new. If you seemed to click with a new person you’ve met, why not ask them out for a coffee?
If you’ve been invited to a party, make an effort to go. Say your friend’s asked you to join them for a morning hike with other friends, why not join in? You might be surprised at where life takes you by going with the flow and accepting invitations.
Tip 3. Make a bucket list of things you’ve always wanted to do
Make a list of things that you’ve always been meaning to do but never got around to. This bucket list may include picking up a new hobby (or dedicating time to old ones that you’d forgotten about), visiting new places or even learning a language. The possibilities are endless. Since you’re not in a relationship, you don’t have a fixed amount of time that you need to dedicate to another person. Make the most of this freedom and do the things that are meaningful to you.
Tip 4. Enjoy dating but don’t put pressure on yourself
If you’re ready to date, then enjoy the process. Have a positive and open-minded attitude when meeting new people. Go on dates with people who may not immediately appear to be your ‘usual’ type. It’s fine to be searching for someone who you can be in a serious relationship, however, it’s important not to put pressure on yourself to find ‘the one.’
The ideal approach is to see dating as a way of getting to know new people. If you’re lucky you’ll meet someone special, but if you don’t, no big deal. Obviously, you don’t want to waste your time if the chemistry is simply not there or it’s clear that there’s no potential.
Accept that many dates will lead to nothing. However, that’s absolutely fine and to be expected. Even if you had coffee with someone who was totally not your type, you’ve not lost anything. The next person you meet might have far more potential. Try to be relaxed about the process of finding someone and this will make you far more appealing to others.
Related: How To Do Online Dating Successfully: 5 Top Tips For Success
Tip 5. Re-evaluate your life. Identify things that are important to you and allow your daily life to align with your values.
This is an important one. It can be easy to get caught up with modern life and end up doing things on autopilot just because that’s what we’ve gotten used to. For example, you may spend all your time on your job and, as a result, end up eating unhealthily and not exercising, simply out of habit. However, healthy living is actually something important to you, deep down. This is something that you can work on while you are single.
What does your ideal life look like?
Write down what your ideal life looks like and identify areas for improvement. This may include things such as “I want to make time to exercise once a week” or “I want to drink less alcohol on the weekend.” It could even be something like “I want to improve my home environment by decluttering and re-arranging the futniture.” Or, it could be something that requires effort over time, such as “I want to find friends who are more positive influences on my life.”
Everyone has aspects of their daily life that they would like to change. If you feel that being single is boring, now’s a great time to identify areas that you can improve on for the better. By dedicating free time to actively changing aspects of your daily life, you may be surprised by the positive effect it has on your mental well-being.
A final word on being single
If you are ultimately seeking a partner to be with, just remember that being single is not forever. However, what’s important is that you use this time productively. By investing your free time into doing what makes you fulfilled and being true to yourself, your lifestyle will align with your values. Build up a fulfilling social life by making an effort to reach out to people and accepting invitations to events. Stay true to yourself and trust that you will attract the right person into your life.
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