Are you trying to figure out the behaviour of a guy who you are pretty sure likes you? Maybe he’s been flirting with you. Or, perhaps other people have told you that he has a thing for you. You might have even gone out a few times together. However, if he’s now avoiding you, you’re probably wondering “why is he avoiding me if he likes me?”
It would seem logical that if a guy likes you, he will want to speak to you and be around you. If you’re interested in this guy, you’re probably hoping that he’ll chat with you and ask you out. However, if he is avoiding you, you might find this utterly confusing.
Here are 15 reasons why.
Contents
- Reason 1. He’s shy
- Reason 2. He doesn’t want other people to know that he likes you
- Reason 3. You’re colleagues and he doesn’t want a relationship with you to affect your workplace environment
- Reason 4. He’s intimidated by you
- Reason 5. He’s already taken
- Reason 6. He doesn’t see you as relationship material
- Reason 7. He’s playing (a bit too) hard to get
- Reason 8. He’s not in the right headspace for a relationship
- Reason 9. He’s flirty with everyone (and doesn’t actually like you)
- Reason 10. You said or did something that made him back off
- Reason 11. Someone said something negative about you
- Reason 12. He likes you but he also wants to keep his options open
- Reason 13. He’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants
- Reason 14. He’s not actually avoiding you; he’s busy
- Reason 15. He recently came out of a relationship and doesn’t want to jump into anything
- Reason 16. He doesn’t actually like you that way and wants you to back off
Reason 1. He’s shy
If this guy is shy, he may be scared to initiate conversation with you. Even if he’s an outwardly confident guy, it’s certainly possible that he’s shy around you because he likes you. Ask yourself: haven’t you ever felt nervous or just a bit awkward around a guy that you like?
For many people, it can be difficult to feel totally relaxed and act yourself when you are attracted to someone. On one hand, you want to make a good impression. However, it’s easy to overthink how to talk to someone you like. Some people may even end up babbling or laughing nervously.
Reason 2. He doesn’t want other people to know that he likes you
It’s possible that even if this guy clearly likes you, he feels awkward about this fact. If the two of you have many mutual friends e.g. at school or in the workplace, he might be hesitating to act on his feelings out of fear that other people will find out. He might even fear that other people will make fun of him for having a crush on you.
Reason 3. You’re colleagues and he doesn’t want a relationship with you to affect your workplace environment
If the two of you are colleagues, he may be avoiding you even though he likes you because he’s scared that having a relationship with you will affect your workplace environment. Despite being very common, relationships at work are known for being potentially complicated. Here are some of the potential risks of an office romance:
- The relationship becoming a distraction from work
- Gossip among colleagues
- Awkwardness if there is conflict between you or if you break up
- Potential power imbalance if the relationship is between a boss and a junior
- Other employees feeling there is favouritism between the couple
Reason 4. He’s intimidated by you
Even if this guy likes you, it’s possible that he doesn’t think he has a chance at a relationship with you. He may feel that you’re out of his league and he’s likely to get rejected. Therefore, he’s decided not to act on his feelings.
Reason 5. He’s already taken
Do you know this guy’s relationship status? Even if he seems to be ‘single,’ do you know that for a fact? People’s relationship statuses can change overnight and it’s possible you’re not aware of the latest updates.
If you already know that this guy is in a relationship, then you really can’t be too surprised that he’s avoiding you. Sure, it may be obvious that he likes you. However, he clearly also has feelings for someone else who he is already involved romantically with. He’s avoiding you to try and honour his current relationship.
Reason 6. He doesn’t see you as relationship material
It’s possible that even if this guy likes you, he may not view you as someone he would actually date. This could be for a number of reasons, such as:
- You not being his usual ‘type’
- A large age difference between you
- Different religions
- Having incompatible life plans
- His family being unlikely to approve of you
It’s important to note that it is his perception that the two of you are incompatible that could cause him to avoid you, rather than the two of you actually being incompatible.
Reason 7. He’s playing (a bit too) hard to get
A guy who likes you but avoids you may be playing hard to get. Instead of being open and honest with his feelings, he’s intentionally acting cool so as to not appear desperate. Annoying, huh? He might be playing hard to get for a number of reasons, such as thinking it will increase your attraction to him or not wanting to be friend-zoned.
Reason 8. He’s not in the right headspace for a relationship
Even if this guy likes you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants a relationship with you. He may be intentionally trying to cut you off so that it won’t progress into a relationship. For example, he may be focusing on his career or studies and not want to be distracted by dating. Or, he may be preparing for upcoming life changes e.g. moving to a new country, starting a new job etc. As a result, it doesn’t make sense to him to start a new relationship.
Reason 9. He’s flirty with everyone (and doesn’t actually like you)
If this guy has been chatting and flirting with you, it may not necessarily mean that he likes you. It could be that he’s a flirtatious guy that enjoys chatting with everyone. Maybe you’re the one who’s thought too much into things.
Reason 10. You said or did something that made him back off
It’s possible that this guy did like you at some point, however he’s now avoiding you because he found something you said or did off-putting. Maybe you said something obnoxious or even offensive without realizing. Or, perhaps you came on too strong.
Reason 11. Someone said something negative about you
If the two of you have mutual friends and any of them dislike you, there’s a chance that someone may have said something negative about you. The possibilities are endless really. They may have advised him that the two of you are incompatible. Or they may have criticized you. As a result, his impression of you might have changed, causing him to avoid you.
Reason 12. He likes you but he also wants to keep his options open
It’s possible that even though the two of you like each other, he doesn’t want to limit himself by pursuing you. He might be avoiding you even though he likes you because he wants to keep his options open in case there’s someone better.
Related: Dating Someone Who’s Playing You Hot and Cold? Read This.
Reason 13. He’s confused and doesn’t know what he wants
This guy may be unsure about what he wants. He might like you to an extent but, on the other hand, be unsure about his feelings for you. This kind of guy will send mixed messages, such as appearing interested one moment but avoiding you the next. Or, he might make plans and then cancel them. Unfortunately, this flaky behaviour can be extremely frustrating.
Related: What is Breadcrumbing in Dating?
Reason 14. He’s not actually avoiding you; he’s busy
Could it be that this guy isn’t intentionally avoiding you but he’s genuinely busy? If before he had plenty of time to chat with you but now he always seems to be in a hurry, is it possible that he’s focusing on another task at hand? He might be busy with anything from work, school, social events or even hobbies.
Reason 15. He recently came out of a relationship and doesn’t want to jump into anything
Has this guy recently broken up with someone? If the answer is ‘yes,’ there’s a chance that even though he likes you, he’s not ready to pursue someone new. He could be avoiding you because he’s still getting over his previous relationship and isn’t ready to date.
Reason 16. He doesn’t actually like you that way and wants you to back off
Are you sure that this guy likes you? Could it be that you’ve misread his signals? Perhaps he doesn’t actually like you and he’s avoiding you because he’s sensed you’re coming onto him and he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression.
In conclusion, if you’re wondering ‘why is he avoiding me if he likes me?’ there are many possible reasons. If you like him, it’s understandably frustrating dealing with a guy who is giving mixed signals. If he continues to avoid you then there’s not really a great deal you can do. After all, who wants to feel like they are constantly putting in effort to get to know a guy who is not reciprocating? However, if he truly likes you and is open to getting to know you better, he will eventually make the effort to get in touch with you.
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