When it comes to dating, is it ok to double text after being left on read? There’s no clear-cut answer. It really depends on your relationship and how long you wait before double texting. If you’re considering double texting after being left on read, it’s likely that you’re keen to hear back from this person but they’re taking their sweet time to reply to you.
Firstly, give the other person some time to reply
Before double texting, give the other person time plenty of to reply you. Their reason for leaving you on read could be one of many. You simply do not know. If this person usually takes a couple of hours to reply you but it’s been a day, they may genuinely be occupied with something important. Waiting can feel annoying if you really like them, but it’s the best thing to do.
If you chat regularly throughout the day with the other person, it’s fair to wait at least 24-48 hours before double texting. However, if they take a day or so to respond, then give it a few days at least.
If you do double text someone after being left on read, don’t bombard them
The quickest way of making someone think you are desperate is to send them multiple texts in a row. Do not do this:
How well do you know this person?
If it’s early days and you know little about this person, you’d best air on the side of caution before double texting. This means giving them a couple of days to reply. If your relationship is new and you’re still getting to know each other, you probably haven’t even worked out how interested they really are. The last thing you want is for them to think that you’re obsessing over their text messages and that they have a mental hold over you.
The better you know them, the less of a big deal double texting is
On the other hand, if the two of you have been dating for a while and feel comfortable with each other, you may not think so hard before double texting them. Perhaps the two of you are constantly in touch. As a result, you are confident that you won’t be perceived as needy by double texting them. Maybe they sometimes double text you, too.
If there’s something time-sensitive that you need to find out, it’s perfectly ok to double text them
Sometimes, double texting after being left on read may be necessary if there’s something urgent you need to find out. If, say, you’ve made plans with the other person but you’re unclear about something or think a mistake’s been made.
Example 1.
Guy (on Thursday): “Sure, meeting at Little Street Café on Saturday 2pm sounds good, but I may have heard it’s being renovated? I’ll double check.”
Girl: “Ok sure.”
Guy (on Friday): “I just checked online it’s closed until September. Should we go somewhere else instead?”
Girl: no reply
Guy: “Just wondering if you were still up for meeting on Saturday? If it’s not convenient then maybe another time.”
In this conversation, the guy has found out that the café is being renovated, making it impossible for them to meet there. As their planned meeting is only 1 day away, it’s reasonable that he wants to know if they are meeting or not. It wouldn’t make sense to wait until Saturday to find out. Furthermore, he’s recognized the possibility that she might not be keen to meet and has commented ‘maybe another time.’ Even though he’s double texted, he does not come across as desperate.
Example 2.
Guy (the day before meeting): Want to have a picnic at the park tomorrow afternoon? The weather forecast says it’ll be a really nice day. We could meet at 12pm? At the fountain? Should be fun!
Girl: Yeah meeting up for a picnic sounds great! I have a picnic basket with cutlery etc we can use. Do you want to bring food and I’ll bring drinks?
Guy: No reply
Girl (wait’s until evening): ?
In this situation, the guy sounds enthusiastic about making plans with the girl and it’s unlikely that he’s simply disappeared. He’s probably forgotten to get back to her. However, since the picnic is happening tomorrow, it’s fair that the girl wants to know this evening what she should buy in preparation.
Example 3.
Girl: Yeah Friday sounds great as long as nothing unexpected crops up with work! Can I confirm with you later in the week?
Guy: Sure sounds good.
Guy (on Wednesday): How’s your week been? Will you be ok to meet on Friday? Or do you want to reschedule?
Here, the girl has already told the guy that although she does want to meet, it depends on her work situation. The guy has waited until 2 days before their planned meeting before double texting. It would be silly for him to wait for her to respond until Thursday or Friday. If she turns out to be unavailable then he can still make other plans.
The argument against double texting after being left on read
If someone has obviously read your message(s) and not replied, it’s arguable that their lack of response shows they are not on the same page as you. If it’s an honest mistake or if they are genuinely busy, then being left on read is not a big deal. Unfortunately, if this has happened several times, this shows that they are either: a. not that interested or b. has a different communication style to you.
Related: 5 Telltale Signs He’s Acting Distant
If you’re in a situation where you are considering double texting, take a moment to consider how you feel about the relationship.
- Does communicating with this person flow naturally?
- Can you gauge how they feel about you?
- Do you feel comfortable about the relationship?
- Can you read this person well or are there many unknowns?
- Has this happened before?
- Do you constantly need to double text in order for them to reply?
Is walking away the right thing to do?
If you feel that your text deserved a response and they’ve left you on read, then walking away may be better than double texting. Put it this way, someone with high self-esteem will only want people in their life who values them. A happy relationship needs give and take from both people. If you feel that this person lacks interest in the relationship or respect for you, then it’s not worth double texting them. You’re better off removing yourself from the situation and moving on.
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