Have you recently put a lot of effort into dating, only to end up frustrated or disappointed? Even worse, you may feel jaded by dating if you’ve had negative experiences. Perhaps things haven’t been going according to plan. Despite putting yourself out there and having a positive mindset, you’ve still not found what you’re looking for. Or maybe while dating, you’d misjudged the situation and as a result feel confused. Basically, if things are not going great, you may feel it’s time to take a break from dating.
Unfortunately, while dating can be fun and rewarding, there is the potential to be hurt. After all, you are getting to know another person with the hope that you click on some level. You may have spent time getting to know them better, only to be disappointed. Even if you haven’t had any particularly negative experiences dating, you may be growing tired of it. Dating is still a significant investment of your time. It could be that your dates were pleasant but simply not your type. You may find that despite your best efforts, you’ve not met anyone remotely special. Dating requires time and patience. It’s possible to feel a bit burned out if you’ve been putting in effort but not found what you want. You may end up needing to take a break from dating.
Here are 6 signs that you need to take a break from dating.
Sign 1 You Need to Take a Break From Dating: You’ve recently come out of a relationship which you need time to get over
If you have recently come out of a relationship, you may be feeling a mix of emotions. If you had strong feelings for them, it’s normal to experience loss and sadness that the relationship ended. If the other person’s actions led to you feeling hurt, you may be angry or frustrated at them. Or, you may even blame yourself for things ending. Regardless of what happened, many people need some time to mourn the loss of a relationship. It can take time to process one’s feelings and come to terms with what happened.
Heal yourself before putting yourself back out there on the dating scene
Depending on how serious your relationship was, you may find that your daily life is significantly different after splitting up with this person. It’s possible that you have much more free time to occupy now. Or, you need to get used to eating alone again. It can take time to adapt to these kinds of changes and process the emotions involved. In this situation, it’s helpful to take a break from dating. This way, you can devote some time solely to self-healing before you put yourself back out there again.
Sign 2 You Need to Take a Break From Dating: All your dates have been mediocre and you’re tired of putting in the time and effort
If you are single and actively going on dates in hopes of meeting someone special, this requires significant time and effort. Firstly, you need find ways of meeting other singles e.g. by using dating apps or going out to places where singles hang out. Maybe you even took up a new hobby or activity specifically to meet new people. However, despite your best efforts, the dates you’ve been on have been uninspiring. Sure, they may be decent people and nice enough, but they are simply not what you’re looking for.
First dates can be an effort
Going on dates requires you to invest your free time but offers no guarantees. Furthermore, first dates are not the most comfortable situations. Meeting a stranger or someone you don’t know particularly well can be nerve-racking for some people. Even if you are an experienced dater, you still need to put in effort in. Firstly, you need to consider where to meet. Then you will likely spend some time preparing and putting your best face forwards on the date.
Dating offers no guarantees
Unfortunately, there are simply no guarantees when it comes to dating. Even if someone from an online dating app seems perfect on paper, they may be not your type at all. Realistically, it’s easy enough to get along with many different types of people. However, it can be difficult to find someone to share a special connection with that can progress into something more serious. Even though modern daters have so many options available, dating is very hard. People have become more picky and less willing to compromise or settle down. As a result, it’s very common to go on lots of dates but still not find what you are looking for.
Be honest with yourself: are you growing fed up with dating?
If you reach a stage where you’re simply fed up of going on date after date only to be disappointed, this is a sign you need to take a break. You may even feel burned out by dating. Perhaps you feel like the process is becoming repetitive and uninspiring. Despite trying to stay positive and putting effort into the process, you’re no closer to finding what you’re looking for. Maybe you’re even starting to give up hope that you’ll ever find someone. If this is sounding anything like you, it’s probably a good idea to take a break from dating.
Related: Why Is Online Dating So Hard?
Sign 3 You Need to Take a Break From Dating: You no longer look forward to going on dates
Similarly to dating burnout, if you find yourself no longer looking forward to going on dates, this is a sign you need to take a break from dating. Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, not a chore. It’s about meeting people, getting to know them and having some laughs along the way. If it develops into something meaningful then great! If it doesn’t, no worries. It could be that you’ve put pressure on yourself to meet someone. Maybe you are fed up of being single. However, it’s important to have the right frame of mind. No one wants to go on dates with someone who comes across as fed up or unenthusiastic.
If you are unenthusiastic about dating, it will show
If you are not looking forward to going on dates, it’s unlikely that you are putting for best self forwards. This is not going to help you in the long run. Instead, you’d be better off taking a well-deserved break from dating. You can invest your time into other activities, such as spending time with good friends and family. Or, maybe even devote more time to hobbies that you’ve recently neglected. The aim of taking a break from dating is to give yourself some time to relax a bit and relieve yourself of any pressure. Later, you can come back to the dating scene refreshed and ready for a new start.
Sign 4 You Need to Take a Break From Dating: You have other things going on in your life that need your attention
Nowadays, most of us have many things going on in our lives that demand our attention. From work or studying, to family life or even life events like moving house, there’s no short supply of jobs to keep us busy. If you find your life has becoming increasingly busy, it is likely difficult to juggle your various responsibilities with social activities like dating.
Dating requires effort compared to the cosiness and familiarity of a long-term relationship
Compared to being in a stable relationship, dating can require far more effort. In a stable relationship, you already have an established connection with someone and are hopefully both on the same page. You are familiar with each other’s personalities and lifestyles and likely have regular activities that you enjoy together. If you are single and have been actively dating, this requires a lot more planning and thought in some sense. You likely need to put in the effort to meeting other people, which itself can be time consuming. Furthermore, even though dating during the early stages can be exciting, there are a lot of unknowns.
By sorting out urgent matters first, you’ll be more relaxed afterwards
If life has become especially busy and left you with little free time, it may be wise to take a break from dating. This way, you can deal with the more urgent matters you face first. For example, if you’ve been working on an important project at work, it’s sensible to focus on completing this first. Or, if you’re crazy busy dealing with your end of year tax returns, why not ensure you sort this out as a priority? Once you complete whatever pressing task has been at the back of your mind, you’ll no longer be stressing about it. Then when you get back to dating, you’ll be mentally more relaxed and happier when meeting people.
Sign 5 You Need to Take a Break From Dating: Dating is affecting your happiness or self-esteem
Modern dating can be tough. People have more choices than ever and always feel the grass is greener. Furthermore, the rise of ghosting, benching and other hurtful behaviours have made dating a brutal playing field. If you’ve been on the receiving end of unkind behaviour in dating, you are not alone. Maybe you’ve been stood up by someone you’ve met online. Or, you’d met someone who you thought was great, only to find out later they were not who they seemed.
Negative experiences during dating can have a significant psychological effect
Unfortunately, these kinds of negative experiences can be painful and have a lasting psychological effect. Dating requires you to open your heart and put your feelings on the line. If you’d built up any hopes or expectations and things did not go according to plan, it can really hurt. There are some people who often seem to have bad luck when it comes to dating. Over time, it’s not surprising that dating can leave one feeling unhappy. It can be difficult to not take things personally if you’ve been rejected or let down by people you were interested in. Therefore, one’s self-esteem can be affected, too.
If any of the above sounds like you, it’s important to take a well-needed break from dating. The whole point of dating is to potentially meet people who add value to your life. If the experience has left you feeling miserable, it’s essential that you do what is required to recuperate. You are far better off investing time into healing and getting yourself back on track. At the end of the day, your happiness and self-worth are far more important than searching for something through dating. Your self-worth should come from within.
We attract people based on what we put out to the world
Going on dates when you are unhappy with yourself or suffer from low-self esteem is unlikely to yield the results you are looking for. It’s a cliché, but we often attract people into our lives based on the energy we project to the world. Someone who is happy and confident in their own shoes is far more likely to attract stable, loving relationships into their life. Moreover, when you invest in yourself and into building up your dream life, you are far more likely to learn about who you are and what you want. Having this confidence and wisdom will ultimately make it easier to find what you are looking for in the dating world, too.
Sign 6 You Need to Take a Break From Dating: You are feeling under pressure from dating
Dating, at its best, can be exciting and a fun distraction from our daily lives. After a busy day of work, meeting a cute girl and sharing good conversation over a coffee or nibbles can offer a well-deserved break. Every date brings new possibilities and you never know, you may meet someone truly special. Dating is most enjoyable when you adopt a light-hearted and open-minded approach. If you view es as a chance to meet someone new and learn more about them without building up any expectations, you’re far more likely to enjoy the process. However, some people end up putting serious pressure on themselves to meet someone and placing unrealistic expectations on dates. This is simply setting oneself up for disappointment.
Have realistic expectations when it comes to dating
Unfortunately, many factors are out of one’s control when it comes to dating. All you can do is try your best and be true to yourself and what you want. It’s fine to approach dating with a view to looking for a serious relationship. However, what’s not helpful to go on dates with the expectation that this person should be your next boyfriend or husband. Most of the time, this is simply not going to be the case. There’s a big difference between keeping an eye out for someone who would make a great long-term partner compared to expecting that someone should fit your mould. You are almost certainly going to end up disappointed if you have such high hopes from everyone you go on dates with.
Dating can be a long process
Dating is a process that takes time and experience to find what you are looking for. For most people, it involves a lot of trial and error. If you are someone who has been placing pressure on yourself to get into a relationship, you may be unknowingly making things more difficult for yourself. Sure, most of us would enjoy being in a relationship with the right person. Relationships can be a huge source of happiness and are what make life fulfilling. However, relationships simply cannot be forced.
Applying pressure when it comes to dating is unlikely to benefit you
Putting unnecessary pressure on yourself during dating is simply not helpful at all. There are too many factors out of your control i.e. the other person’s behaviour or how they feel about you. Even if you meet someone who you feel is perfect, who knows if they will feel the same way about you? Furthermore, even if you’ve been dating someone and it’s going well, there are no guarantees it will work out in the long run. It can take time to truly understand what another person’s priorities and values are. Instead of putting pressure on yourself, what’s more important is to know how to read the situation in front of you and act accordingly.
Taking a break from dating for any reason will give you time to focus on the things you enjoy and evaluate what you want
If you’ve been feeling under pressure from dating, perhaps it’s time to take a break from dating. Solitary time is a great way to focus on the things that you enjoy and also to evaluate what you want in life. Understanding what you want and what makes you happy will inevitably help you when it comes to dating, too.
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