One of the commonest questions daters face is: how do I tell if he is interested after the first date? It can be difficult to figure this out. Firstly, you probably don’t know him that well. Maybe he is giving some positive signals that suggest he is interested. However, you’re not sure how to interpret his behaviour. Is he just being polite? Just how interested is he, exactly? Maybe his response after the first date has not been as enthusiastic as you were hoping. Is he just busy? Or is he just the type to take things slow? You may be pondering the answer to these questions. Here are the 5 telltale signs he is interested in you after the first date.
How to tell if he is interested in you after the first date Sign 1. He is consistently in touch
If after a first date, the guy is good at keeping in touch consistently, this is a good sign that he is interested. Note, the word ‘consistently.’ This does not include flaky behaviour or half-hearted texts like “sup?” or texting only late at night.
To start with, a guy who is interested will likely tell you if he enjoyed your first date. He may mention something along the lines of “I had a great time!” or “last night was really fun,” thereby making it clear he enjoyed himself. Likely, he will be subtly trying to flirt with you through his messages, too. Smiley faces or winks are signs that he is enthusiastic.
Guys won’t waste their time pursuing someone they are not interested in
If, after the first date, he is regularly messaging or calling you, it’s for a reason. Guys generally need a good reason to stay in touch. They simply won’t waste their time if they are not interested. The fact that he is consistently in touch shows that you are on his mind. Furthermore, if he really likes you, he’ll likely want to grab your attention so that someone else doesn’t.
What if he only messages occasionally?
It can be harder to ascertain his level of interest if, say, debatable. Perhaps he sends a few messages here and there but is inconsistent. Or, he is chatty one moment but then goes for long periods without replying. This kind of hot and cold behaviour can be hard to read. Sure, you may reason that he is ‘busy’ but frankly speaking, he is likely not that interested at present. There could be a million reasons for this.
A guy who is inconsistent may enjoy talking to you but he’s not really going to invest too much effort. It’s easy for him to keep his options open and continue chatting to you occasionally. There is no compelling evidence that he is very interested, especially if he doesn’t suggest meeting again. Remember that men are wired to be hunters. If he is very interested in you, you’ll be on his mind and he will want you to think of him, too.
How to tell if he is interested in you after the first date Sign 2. He wants to see you again
Generally speaking, if a guy is interested in you, he will want to see you again. A guy who is interested will want to maintain regular communication with you. Furthermore, he will almost certainly take the initiative to ask you out again. Even a guy who has a busy life will somehow find time to see you again if he really wants to. It’s hard to believe that someone could not find time to meet even for a coffee if they are keen.
The exceptions
The exceptions to this are if the guy is very shy and needs further encouragement before asking you out. Or, if you have given him the impression that you’re not keen. If you have been intentionally playing hard to get or making things difficult, this can throw a guy off. He may hesitate before making additional plans with you if he’s scared of rejection. If you suspect this may be the case, you can always subtly suggest that it would be nice for the two of you to meet again. For example, if you say “it would be nice to meet up again when we’re both free,” you are directly making him aware of your interest.
Related: Pocketing in Dating
How to tell if he is interested in you after the first date Sign 3. He alludes to the future
A guy who makes suggestions about the future likely to be interested in you. For example, if he makes statements like “we ought to check out that new exhibition one day” or “you’ll have to show me that cool bistro you mentioned,” he is hoping the two of you will be seeing more of each other. What’s even more reassuring is if he suggests one day that you meet people from his social circle, such as friends and family.
Basically, a guy who alludes to the future is far more interested in you than someone who doesn’t. It shows that he anticipates the two of you will still have a relationship in the future. It may even mean he sees you becoming a bigger part of his life.
How to tell if he is interested in you after the first date Sign 4. You grow closer over time
If you’ve been continuing to chat with this guy after the first date, and you feel yourself becoming more comfortable with him, this is a good sign he’s interested. The relationship will progress naturally as the two of you get to know each other better. If over time, you can feel the two of you becoming closer, this shows that he has a real interest in you. Frankly speaking, everyone is busy, and everyone has plenty of things to do. A guy who is not that interested simply won’t bother investing the time into developing a relationship with you.
You’ll gain familiarity and trust in each other
You’ll know that the two of you are becoming closer as you’ll be able to talk about more things. Perhaps you’ll get to know more about each other’s routines and lives. He may open up to you about personal things including his feelings. Likewise, you will be able to share more about yourself with him. You’ll feel more comfortable in his presence and the awkwardness will be replaced by familiarity. These are reassuring signs that he is interested in you.
How to tell if he is interested in you after the first date Sign 5. He wants to learn about you
After a first date, if he is keen to get to know you better, it’s fair to say he is interested. This shows that he enjoyed your first date and wants to know more. A guy who is interested in you will be curious to get to know your true personality. He will want to know what you’re up to and the kinds of things you like. Basically, he will enjoy talking to you and learning more about you and your life. This is a natural behaviour when we like another person.
On the other hand, a guy who mostly speaks about himself with little interest or concern about you is likely less interested. Sure, some guys naturally are a bit more self-involved and that’s just their personality. However, it’s not very reassuring that a guy is interested in you if all he does is talk about himself. A guy who wants to understand you and is concerned about your well-being is far more interested.
How to really tell if he is interested after the first date? Trust your intuition
There are no fixed rules when it comes to assessing whether a guy is interested after a first date. Positive signs include communicating with you regularly (no flakiness, please) and making plans to see you again. If he makes suggestions for future plans or meeting people important to him, this is very reassuring, too. However, most of the time, you will simply be able to feel how interested he is in you.
If a guy is very interested in you, you will usually feel it
A guy who is very interested in you will be difficult to ignore. You’ll feel that he wants to know you better and that he wants to see you again. On the other hand, if you feel uncertain about his level of interest, it could be that he’s fifty-fifty. It’s possible he likes certain things about you (i.e. it’s not a flat out no) but is not overwhelmingly interested. You can reason that he’s busy with work or otherwise occupied, but the fact is, his interest is questionable. He is not calling you or asking you out, for whatever reason. By listening to your gut feeling after the first date, you’ll likely know the answer deep down as to how interested he really is.
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