Nowadays ghosting has become an increasingly common way of ending relationships, both romantic and platonic. Ghosting often receives a bad rep and can be viewed as an inconsiderate, flakey way of breaking up. However, the reasons as to why a person may ghost someone can be wide-ranging. Whether you’ve been ghosted yourself or you’re considering ghosting someone, you may be wondering: which excuses for ghosting someone are legit and which are not?
Contents
- Lame excuse 1. The two of you have been dating but you’ve now lost interest
- Lame excuse 2. You don’t have the guts to break up with them in person
- Lame excuse 3. You’re in the habit of ghosting people i.e. a serial ghoster
- Legitimate excuse 1. You’ve already told them you want to end the relationship and they cannot take no for an answer
- Legitimate excuse 2. You hardly know them
- Legitimate excuse 3. This person is toxic
- Are you planning to ghost someone and trying to find excuses or reasons to justify ghosting them?
- A final note on excuses for ghosting someone
Here are 3 lame excuses for ghosting someone
Lame excuse 1. The two of you have been dating but you’ve now lost interest
If you have been dating who has been respectful throughout but you’ve now lost interest in the relationship, ghosting them is not a decent way of ending things. What’s the point in putting the other person through the misery of wondering what happened? If you’ve lost interest in the relationship and no longer wish to continue, it’s far more respectful to tell the other that you don’t see things working out between you.
Most people will appreciate honesty rather than being left on read or blocked on messenger. In most cases, the ghostee will firstly wonder if something’s up with the ghoster causing them to be MIA. After waiting patiently for a message (that never comes), they then realize that they’ve been dumped and can’t figure out why. The whole process can be painful and unnecessarily so.
Take a moment to consider the other person’s feelings
Basically, if you’ve merely lost interest someone you’ve been dating and are considering ghosting them, this is a poor excuse. Think about what they invested into the relationship and consider their feelings for a moment. Many people can accept being told that they are not the right match for someone romantically, even it’s disappointing news.
Lame excuse 2. You don’t have the guts to break up with them in person
There are probably many more fun things many of us would rather spend our time doing instead of delivering the bad news to break up with someone. When it comes to breakups, it’s normal to be apprehensive or even scared of dealing with the other person’s questions or emotions. However, even though the process can be painful, breakups are important and allow both people to close the chapter on their relationship.
Ghosting someone because you’re scared to break up in person is a seriously lame excuse. It’s especially cowardly if the two of you had been dating for a while (or were serious). Furthermore, ghosting them might create more trouble than it’s worth. The other person might react even worse to being ghosted than being broken up with e.g. bombarding you with angry messages or even showing up unannounced. In this situation, you may end up wishing you’d done things the proper way to begin with.
Lame excuse 3. You’re in the habit of ghosting people i.e. a serial ghoster
Some people regularly ghost people as a way of ending relationships. Maybe you are the type that can start and stop new relationships with ease. Perhaps each relationship doesn’t mean that much to you and you can easily move on. Or, you may be an avoidant type and hate confrontation. Maybe you find it difficult to communicate when it comes to awkward, emotional topics like breaking up.
Even if you’re a serial ghoster and have been able to walk away unscathed each time, this does not make ghosting people an acceptable thing to do. Think about the fact that these people have put in time and effort into getting to know you and building up a relationship. Why not appreciate the fact that they gave you a chance and opened themselves up to you? Even if you feel that a relationship is not for you, it does not mean that the other person does not deserve to be told honestly that you don’t wish to continue.
Here are 3 legitimate excuses for ghosting someone
Legitimate excuse 1. You’ve already told them you want to end the relationship and they cannot take no for an answer
If you’ve already told someone that you want to end things and they still cannot accept the relationship is over, then it’s perfectly reasonable to ghost them. Say, for example, you’ve treated them respectfully throughout the relationship but feel that the relationship has no future. After breaking up, it’s your right to cut off contact with them. You do not need to respond to any of their attempts to reach out.
Legitimate excuse 2. You hardly know them
If you are dealing with someone that you hardly know i.e. you’ve only exchanged a few messages or have only met once or twice, it could be argued that ghosting is acceptable. If you feel that your interactions with this person do not constitute a ‘relationship’ then you may feel it’s unnecessary to tell them that you’re no longer interested.
During online dating, almost everyone will get ghosted at some point
When it comes to online dating, many people will receive a huge number of matches. It can be difficult to keep up with every single person you’ve matched with. The more realistic approach towards online dating is to go with the flow. Many conversations or first dates will ultimately fizzle out and lead to nothing. Some people will just stop replying mid-way through a conversation. Many people accept that ghosting is a part of online dating and don’t think too much into it.
Related: Is It Ghosting If Neither Person Texts? No & Here’s Why.
Legitimate excuse 3. This person is toxic
If the person you’re dealing with is obnoxious, disrespectful or toxic, ghosting them could be the best option of walking away. Perhaps you’ve given this person chances in the past and tolerated their bad behaviour. However, there’s simply nothing to be gained from keeping them in your life. You may even feel that having an honest and open conversation about ending the relationship will do more harm than good, and result in you being subjected to further mistreatment.
Are you planning to ghost someone and trying to find excuses or reasons to justify ghosting them?
If you’re thinking of ghosting someone to cut them out of your life, think carefully about whether there is a better way of dealing with the situation. In most situations, having an honest conversation, as awkward as the process may be, is usually the right thing to do. O.k., no one likes breaking bad news and no one enjoys being broken up with. However, a proper breakup is necessary if the two of you had a relationship and it’s obvious that the other person will want to know why you want to end the relationship.
If you’re considering ghosting someone, ghosting may seem like an easy and convenient option. However, firstly ask yourself the following questions:
- If I ghosted this person, how would it affect them?
- Would they shrug off getting ghosted or would they be really upset?
- Would they struggle with gaining closure?
- Does this person deserve an honest and open dialogue?
- How would they react to being ghosted? Is there a possibility they’ll show up demanding answers?
- Would ghosting them cause more trouble than it’s worth?
The process of breaking up can really suck. However, when you look back in retrospect, it’s unlikely you’ll regret doing things the proper way.
A final note on excuses for ghosting someone
Generally speaking, if the other person has been decent and respectful towards you, ghosting is not an ideal way of ending things. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. How would you feel if you were suddenly brushed aside as if you didn’t matter at all? Ghosting someone can leave someone feeling confused and disrespected.
Even though breaking up is not pleasant, putting aside the time to break up with the other person gracefully will allow both of you to end the relationship and gain closure. Furthermore, you won’t end up feeling guilty for ghosting them.
Of course, there are certain situations in which ghosting may be an appropriate way of ending things. Say, if you’ve already broken up and the other person can’t seem to take ‘no’ for an answer. Or, if the person you’re dealing with is toxic and you feel that you must remove yourself from the situation quietly. In these situations, your excuses for ghosting someone may be reasonable. Ghosting the other person may even be the most appropriate thing to do.
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