Many people find online dating tough. Aside from having to invest time searching through hundreds of profiles and going on date after date, there’s the risk of being ghosted, catfished or even scammed. However, online dating as a plus-size girl carries unique challenges that other people may not experience nor understand. Whether you’re a plus-size girl dipping your toes into the world of online dating or an experienced online dater, by following our top 5 online dating tips you’ll be starting off on the right foot.
Contents
- Tip 1. Know what you are looking for
- Tip 2. Have a positive, open-minded attitude and treat others respectfully
- Tip 3. Make your online dating profile a true reflection of who you are
- A common dilemma: what photos should I post in my dating profile as a plus-size girl?
- Tip 4. Ignore or block anyone who is rude, negative or abusive
- Tip 5. Confidence is key, know your worth
Online dating as a plus-size girl may feel difficult at times
Unfortunately, society can sometimes be cruel towards girls who are curvy. If you’re a plus-size girl, you may be concerned about how you’ll be treated on online dating platforms. You may be stressing about which photos to post on your dating profile. Or, you may even be worried about receiving body-shaming comments.
Even if you’ve matched with someone and the conversation has been going well, it doesn’t get easier. You might be nervous about what to wear for your first date or whether they will embrace your body type when they meet you in person. Do not despair. Online dating can be challenging. However, online dating offers opportunities for absolutely everyone to meet like-minded people and even true love.
Remember: online dating is about finding people who appreciate you for who you are
During online dating, it’s important to remember that the whole point of process is to find people with whom you are compatible with. The right person will accept and appreciate both your personality and your body type. They will like you for who you are. Therefore, anyone who is not keen is simply not worth your time. You have far better things to do than deal with people who are not a good fit.
There is a possibility that you will receive negative remarks about your appearance from people who are closed-minded and immature. While it’s unfortunate that they lack the manners to be polite and respectful, the fact of the matter is that they are the wrong type of person for you. If you encounter any negativity, you will have to be the bigger person, try not to let them affect you and move on.
Here are our 5 top tips if you’re online dating as a plus-size girl
Tip 1. Know what you are looking for
Firstly, ask yourself honestly: what am I looking for? You might say “I’m looking for someone to date,” however, it’s important to think deeper. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Am I looking for casual and fun dates with different people? Or, am I looking for something more meaningful i.e. a long-term relationship?
- Is it important that the other person loves my body type?
- What kind of personality am I seeking? Someone who is reliable and caring? Or someone with a great sense of humour?
Focus on getting what you want
By identifying what you are looking for, you’ll be able to focus on what’s truly important and brush off any negative experiences easier. For example, say you’re looking for a guy who wants a serious relationship and embraces your personality and physical appearance. If you encounter a superficial guy who is clearly only looking for fun who makes a negative comment towards you, it’s clear as daylight that he is not what you want. Fine, no one enjoys being insulted. However, if you focus on the fact that he is not what YOU want, it really does not matter what he thinks. He has no place in your life.
Common interests and values are key
Regardless of whether you are plus-size or not, it’s important to look for people who have similar interests and values, rather than focusing on physical traits. Unless you are looking for one-off dates, the only way a relationship will work is if both people have mutual respect and have things in common. You’ll need to enjoy the conversation and each other’s companionship and, as a result, will be able to develop a deeper sense of understanding.
Related: Dating for Marriage: 7 Top Tips
Tip 2. Have a positive, open-minded attitude and treat others respectfully
When online dating as a plus-size girl, your attitude is everything. Focus on having a positive mindset and remember that the right person or people out there will click with you naturally. Being friendly and open-minded towards other people and treating others as you would like to be treated goes a long way. Sure, you may encounter some rude or obnoxious people along the way. However, this problem is almost to be expected by anyone who does online dating and is not specific to plus-size girls.
Try your best to let go of any emotional baggage
If you’ve had bad dating experiences in the past related to being a plus-size girl, you may be very cautious with online dating. This is completely understandable. It’s fine to not wear your heart on your sleeve and to require other people to earn your trust over time. However, what you don’t want to do is put up 10 foot walls around yourself and not give new people a chance to get to know you.
Try your best not to let any past emotional baggage hold you back during online dating. Remember that things that happened in the past do not determine your future. Treat every new relationship as a fresh start. If you’ve matched with someone and are chatting or dating, be positive about it and give it a real go!
Related: Online dating: How Long to Wait Before Meeting
Tip 3. Make your online dating profile a true reflection of who you are
When creating your online dating profile, it’s important that both your self-description and photos are accurate. This means no outdated photos from that party 5 years ago even if it was a super cute pic. This also means writing a description that is a true description of who you are. If you’re a free-thinking girl that loves dogs and travel, then absolutely include this.
A common dilemma: what photos should I post in my dating profile as a plus-size girl?
Honesty is a good policy when it comes to online dating. Let’s be honest, would you like to meet up with someone who looks nothing like the photos on their dating profile? No one likes surprises, that is unless the person they meet turns out to be far better-looking than their photos. This applies to everyone, old or young, male or female, fat or thin. When choosing which photos to post on your profile, it’s wise to choose pics that are:
- Recent i.e. within the last 2 years
- Clear shots that are not blurry
- Are an accurate representation of your body type
- Flattering i.e. you look tidy and presentable
- Not overly filtered or edited
- Show you with a pleasant or at least neutral expression
Don’t over think things
Do not obsess about which pictures to post. Remember that the right person will be attracted to you for just being you. Just focus on finding a few pics that are a flattering and a good representation of how you look. If you’re unsure, you can always ask a friend to help you shortlist a few pics.
Tip 4. Ignore or block anyone who is rude, negative or abusive
Unfortunately, there are individuals on online dating platforms who somehow feel it is acceptable to be rude or even abusive towards girls who are plus-sized. This may come in the form of comments about your size or even suggesting you change your appearance.
Negativity may come in the following forms:
- Making weight-related jokes
- Suggesting or pressuring you to lose weight
- Making negative comments about plus-size people in general
- Criticizing your appearance
Understandably, being on the receiving end of such negativity can really suck. However, you’ll have to be tough and remove yourself from the situation. There’s absolutely nothing to be gained from being around people who have a prejudice against plus-sized people or are disrespectful towards you. You may even wish to report anyone who’s guilty of body-shaming to the dating app.
Related: Online dating: Guys to Avoid. Here Are 5 Guys You Must Avoid.
Tip 5. Confidence is key, know your worth
What are your special qualities?
When online dating as a plus size girl, it’s essential to know your worth and be confident about what you bring to the table. Perhaps you have a wicked sense of humour. Or, maybe you’ve been through things in life that have made you a very emotionally mature person beyond your years. Perhaps you’re always the person your friends turn to when they’re struggling and need moral support. Maybe you are an incredible at cooking and your food is to die for. Everyone has qualities that make them special and indispensable to the people around them. What are yours? Why not write them down to make it easier to remind yourself in the future?
Embrace yourself before others can embrace you
Being confident during online dating is often easier said than done. However, it’s important to embrace who you are, both emotionally, mentally and physically, if you expect someone else to embrace you, too. If you remind yourself of what your best qualities are, it will be easier to remember that you have a lot offer to the right person. With this in mind, you should be able to put yourself out there and focus on finding what you want. Furthermore, you’ll be able to dispel any negativity you may encounter during online dating.
Enjoyed this article? You may also find these articles useful:
