Anyone who’s been ghosted by someone who meant something to them will likely admit that it hurts. A lot. Whether it’s a friend or someone you were romantically involved with, being ghosted can feel like abandonment. The surprise that the relationship is over may be difficult to come to terms with. You may have invested a great deal of effort into this person. Maybe you believed that this person would be around for the long run.
Why does being ghosted hurt so much?
Ghosting hurts for several reasons.
- It happens without warning. Perhaps you thought everything was going fine. Or, maybe you felt something was a bit ‘off’ but didn’t think too much into it. The last thing you expected was this person completely cutting off from you.
- The other person meant something to you. Maybe you were not in an exclusive relationship or had no official title. However, you enjoyed spending time with them and felt you had a connection. The fact that this person is permanently gone from your life can be difficult to accept. Some people experience feel grief at the loss of the relationship.
- You cannot get closure. When someone blocks you on Whatsapp or other messenger, or simply refuses to respond at all, it is frustrating. It is impossible to ask questions about why they ghosted you.
- You may doubt yourself. Was it something I did? Was the whole relationship a lie? How did I not see this coming? Were they pretending the whole time? How could I be so foolish to think they were genuine? Were they seeing someone else? Questions like these may linger in your mind. However, you are unlikely to get any concrete answers.
- It may take a long time to move on. Being deprived of closure can make it even harder to move on. You may dwell on what happened in the relationship, as well as question why they left. The experience of being ghosted may even affect your self-esteem and make you feel less worthy.
Related: I Miss The Guy Who Ghosted Me, Help! Here’s How To Deal.
How do I get over the hurt of being ghosted?
First and foremost, remember that the act of ghosting reflects the other person’s character. They lacked the decency to end things in a respectful way. They were unwilling to take the time to explain why they wished to end the relationship and address any questions you may have. It is possible that they have issues themselves or simply have different values to yourself.
The fact that this person ghosted you proves that they are not worthy of your friendship or love. Although ghosting hurts a lot, it is certainly for the best that they are no longer in your life. Therefore, try to let the relationship go without harbouring resentment. It simply was not meant to be.
Being ghosted by someone has absolutely no bearing on your worthiness of finding love or having fulfilling friendships. Try to start all relationships with a clean slate. Avoid shutting off from new people just because of being hurt by ghosting in the past. Try to focus your energy on activities that you enjoy and spend time with people who are genuine and treat you with respect.
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