If you’ve been ghosted by a guy who then reappears in your life appearing to be sorry, what’s the best thing to do? You may be infuriated by him even having the nerve to contact you again. Or, you may be confused as to whether you should give him a second chance. It will be especially confusing if you had or still have feelings for him. It would not be surprising if you’re wondering “he apologized for ghosting me; is he truly sorry? How should I deal with this?”
He apologized for ghosting me: does he mean it?
The first thing to ascertain is whether he is genuinely sorry for ghosting you. When apologizing, does he make the following things clear?
- What was his reason for ghosting you?
- Does he accept full responsibility for his actions?
- Does he realize that ghosting you was disrespectful?
- Is he aware of the effect that ghosting may have had on you?
- Does he suggest any way of making the situation better?
As a bare minimum, a guy who is truly sorry for ghosting you will acknowledge that ghosting you was inconsiderate and potentially hurtful. He will need to take accountability for his actions and offer an explanation as to why he ghosted you.
An example of a reasonable apology is as follows:
“I wanted to let you know that I’m sorry for ghosting you. It was not the right way to end things between us and I’m sorry if it caused you any hurt or confusion. I felt that things were getting more serious between us and I was not in a place to be in a proper relationship. I should have explained this instead of disappearing. You deserved far better. I don’t expect you to forgive me but I wanted to apologize anyway. Hope that you are well.”
This is an example of a lousy apology:
“Hey, sorry for not responding before, work was pretty busy. How are you?”
This guy does not acknowledge how rude and inconsiderate ghosting you was. He gives a lame excuse (who isn’t busy at work?) which he thinks is good enough. He appears to have no insight into how disrespectful his actions were. Nor does he apologize for the effect that ghosting you may have had. Even if he is aware of these things, he is not sincere at all.
Related: 6 High Value Responses to Ghosting That Tell Your Ghoster You Are Better Off Without Them
Should I respond to a guy who apologized for ghosting me?
It’s completely up to you.
If you’re happy to acknowledge his apology then a short reply will do
Maybe you are over the fact that he ghosted you and harbour no negative feelings towards him. If you feel that his apology was well-thought out and sincere, then you may be happy to acknowledge his message.
A simple response such as: “I appreciate your apology” will suffice.
Related: How To Make A Guy Regret Ghosting You: 8 Ways
If you don’t want to reply, then don’t
Bearing in mind that he previously lacked any consideration towards your feelings when he ghosted you, you have zero obligation to reply. Maybe you’ve completely moved on and want nothing to with this guy anymore. Or maybe you simply don’t care for his apology. Does it matter that he is sorry? Not really. You can simply leave him on read and ignore him.
What if his apology has made you want to ask more questions?
It’s unlikely you gained full closure after your relationship unless it was obvious to you why he ghosted. It’s possible that his apology made you want to dig for more answers about why he ghosted you and your relationship in general. You may want to ask him more questions. However, it’s important not to expect too much. He may have been apologizing simply to make himself better rather than to actually help you gain closure.
He apologized for ghosting me: should I give him a second chance?
Generally speaking, a guy who has ghosted you in the past does not exhibit the qualities of someone worth having a relationship with. When he ghosted you, he absolutely did not care about your feelings. He lacked the decency to communicate with you and end things in a proper way. Unless you truly feel that he had outstanding reasons that made ghosting you understandable, you are far better without this guy in your life.
Why is he suddenly apologizing now? Is it because he’s genuinely sorry? Or is he simply bored and thinks he can easily get you back? Remember that you deserve a guy who respects and values you, not someone who will disappear and not even bother to tell you why.
It may be a difficult decision for you to make if you still have feelings for him. If you end up giving him a second chance, you are treading on dangerous ground. He’s already shown you that he did not value you in the past. By letting him into your life again, you certainly run the risk of him pulling the same act again.
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