If you’ve dipped your toes in the world of online dating, you’ll likely have filtered through hundreds of profiles. But how do you know who is sincere and who is a guy to avoid? You may have even matched with guys who seem like they genuinely have potential. Perhaps they have that vibe that you like, or they have common interests that have piqued your interest. However, it goes without saying that one must exercise caution during online dating. You ultimately need who to communicate or meet up from dating apps. Although there are plenty of people with genuine intentions, there are, unfortunately, scammers and predators out there too. It’s important to always place utmost importance on your safety. Here we go through the 5 guys to avoid during online dating.
Online Dating Guys to Avoid 1. Any guy who uses foul or inappropriate language
After matching with someone on an online dating platform, your initial communication will be solely by exchanging messages. Compared to meeting someone in real life, you have no non-verbal cues. You cannot assess their ‘vibe’ or body language, or tone of voice. Therefore, your judgment of their character relies on how they communicate through online messaging or text messages. Unfortunately, some people think that because they can hide behind a computer screen, they can forget their manners. Some may even forget basic decency.
If you’ve encountered a guy during online dating who uses inappropriate language towards you, this is a red flag. This is definitely a guy to avoid. When it comes to online dating, a guy with sincere intentions will always have the decency to communicate politely. They should not be making inappropriate statements or suggestions, or, God forbid, sending inappropriate images. A guy who sends rude messages basically does not care about you. He does not want to get to know you. He’s likely treating online dating as a bit of fun and seeing what he can get while investing little effort.
Use the same logic that you apply in real life dating situations
Essentially, you should apply the same common that you use when meeting people in real life. How would you react if a guy you’d just met was using rude or inappropriate language? Or how about if there was a creepy guy nearby jeering at you? Would you give him the time of day? Most likely not. Your best bet is avoiding this kind of guy.
Online Dating Guys To Avoid 2. The guy who gets too serious too soon
Perhaps you’ve been chatting casually online with a guy you’ve matched with on an online dating platform. It may start out pretty normal at first. However, if you find his behaviour becomes a bit too intense too soon, this is a red flag. For example, maybe you have only been chatting through messenger (or perhaps met him casually). However, he seems to assume that the two of you are ‘together’ and assumes ownership over your time. This is not normal. Or, if he messages you all hours of the day relentlessly. Perhaps he always wants to know what you are doing or is even suspicious. This could be a sign of possessive behaviour.
Obviously if you are interested in a guy and he is showing interest then it’s only normal to reciprocate. However, it’s important to maintain perspective and be realistic. For example, if the guy seems to be pushy, or assumes any kind of ‘right’ to knowing about your life, this can be unpleasant. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, you must trust your gut instinct. After all, this is someone who you have only known briefly and may not have even met.
If you have been getting to know a guy and it’s still early days, it’s normal to maintain some distance. Usually, two people will maintain your own space while getting to know each other better. However, beware if the guy becomes at all pushy, or demanding of your time and attention. If he is demanding more than what you are comfortable offering, this is a red flag. It’s simply not healthy if his behaviour becomes overbearing or if you feel uncomfortable. Ultimately, a decent guy will always respect your boundaries. He will invest time to get to know you and take things one step at a time.
Online Dating Guys to Avoid 3. Any guy who wants details about your finances or excessive personal information
During online dating, it’s important to be aware that you are essentially talking to a complete stranger. You have little way to verify their true identity and background. This is unless it happens to be someone you know through mutual friends or have some prior connection. This can remain the case even if you’ve met them in person. Therefore, it’s important to exercise the utmost caution when disclosing personal information. Sure, it’s fine to discuss what field you work in, how you enjoy spending your time, where you’re from etc. After all, these are pretty normal conversation topics.
Why does he need to know, anyway?
However, if the guy you are chatting with starts asking for too many details about your life, be careful. This may include unnecessary details about your job, or exactly where you live, or even your finances. Put it this way, would you disclose all this information to someone who came up to you on the street? Probably not. Even if he seems like a great guy, it’s hard to truly know someone’s intentions. Realistically, if he’s sincere in getting to know you, he shouldn’t even need to know so many personal details. Of course, over time if you get to know him, you may trust that he is genuine. If he’s earned your trust it’s normal to disclose things about your life.
Online Dating Guys to Avoid 4. Any guy who suggests you donate money or ‘invest’ in a scheme
If any guy you’ve met online who suggests that you donate or ‘invest’ money into a scheme, run a mile! Unfortunately, there are many scammers operating on online dating apps. Their sole intention is to scam money out of others who are simply looking for a date. They can be smooth operators and know exactly how to bait and hook vulnerable victims. They are masters of portraying themselves as worthy, or even high-value guys, and may be very charismatic, too. Anyone who’s watched the Tinder Swindler will have an idea of how convincing they can be initially.
Are they convincing you to invest in some high-return scheme? Chances are, it’s too good to be true.
Some of these money grabbers are able to simply maintain an online relationship with their victims. They can be very skillful at portraying their ‘sincerity’ through messaging and voice calls. In this way, they can scam money without even having met their victims. The scamer may casually share that they’ve managed to make huge returns by investing in some high-return scheme. They are masters of sparking their victims’ interest and greed. Later on, they may suggest that their victims also invest in the scheme to reap similar rewards. Unfortunately, once victims realise that they have been scammed, it can be almost impossible to recover funds. Even when scammers get banned from dating apps, it’s simply too easy for them to create more fake accounts. In this way, they can continue their game.
Some will try hard to make you fall in love in order to execute larger scale, long-term scams
The other type of scammer are the ones who invest serious time and effort into pulling off large-scale scams. Just think of the Tinder Swindler. This kind of scam can be even harder to identify. You may already feel that you are in a serious relationship with them. They often wait until you are head over heels in love before making requests for financial assistance. Unfortunately, they can be so convincing with their reasons for needing money. They might create absolutely heart-wrenching stories that will compel you to part with your money.
Try to remember this simple rule: always treat requests for money as a red flag. In this way, you will not be swayed into easily giving money to any guy you’ve met online. Firstly, ask yourself: how well do I know this guy? Is the sum he’s asking for something very small and negligible that I wouldn’t care about if I lost? Or is it a sum of money that would truly affect me if I lost it? How would I approach the situation if a friend asked me for money? Does his reason for asking for money actually seem plausible or realistic?
Online Dating Guys to Avoid 5. Guys who lie or have repeated inconsistencies in what they are telling you
Perhaps you’ve invested some time in getting to know someone you met from an online dating platform. Everything seems great- at first. However, as you spend more time with them, you realize that certain things just don’t add up. Perhaps you’ve noticed there are inconsistencies in what they have told you. It could be that they said they work in a particular area, but later they mention their office is in another location. Or, they may have told you that they grew up in the West Coast but later you find out they actually grew up in the East Coast. In the beginning, you may wonder whether you yourself had simply remembered what they’d said incorrectly. However, if over time, you notice that many things just don’t seem to add up, you ought to listen to your gut instinct.
As mentioned previously, it’s very difficult to verify information that a stranger from online dating has told you. This is unless you happen to have mutual friends or perhaps work in a similar field. In other words, you need a connection or common ground that enables you to source more information about them. However, most the time, we are simply placing trust in the other person and hoping that they are indeed sharing the truth with us. Unfortunately, the ease at which people can create online dating profiles and online identities makes it far too easy for someone to pose as someone they are not. If you catch a guy repeatedly telling lies or changing his story, beware that he may not be who he says he is.
Avoid guys who do not have sincere intentions or have questionable behaviour
Ultimately, when it comes to online dating, you should follow the same principles that you apply when dating in real life. Firstly, looking out for yourself and your safety should be a top priority. Next, you should be selective when it comes to who you decide to spend time with. Beware of red flags, such as any guy who comes across as overbearing and does not respect your boundaries or treats you disrespectfully. With online dating in particular, it’s also important to be vigilant about scammers targeting your money, or people presenting themselves as someone they are not.
