Most of the time people assume that being ghosted is the ultimate end of a relationship. If you’ve been ghosted by a girl you were seeing, she essentially cut you out of her life without explanation. It’s therefore fair to assume you won’t be hearing from her again.
In some cases, however, the girl who ghosted you comes back, also known as zombieing. This can be extremely confusing. Firstly, it may stir up old feelings. Perhaps you never completely got over her despite the way she treated you. You may look back at some of your memories fondly and miss her. On the other hand, you may have been angry and hurt after she ghosted you.
If you’ve been ghosted by a girl who’s now come back, it can be hard to know if you can trust her. She may seem friendly and want to forget what happened in the past. She may even completely ignore the elephant in the room which is the fact that she ghosted you without warning. While it’s completely up to you how you proceed, one should tread with extra caution. After all, this is a girl who’s ghosted you before. If you are to let her back into your life, she’ll need to prove that she’s worth trusting.
If a girl ghosted and came back, what does this mean?
There are several possibilities as to why she has now come back:
She misses you
Chances are, she misses you and your company. Perhaps the two of you shared some fun times together. It’s natural after a breakup to miss the other person, no matter who instigated the breakup. If you miss her too, you may feel tempted to respond to her in hopes that she will come back into your life. However, it’s important not to overlook the fact that she ghosted you without warning previously. Even if she misses you, it does not mean that she feels remorseful about ghosting you or even thinks she did anything wrong.
She wants to get back together
You’ll need to tread with extreme caution if a girl who has ghosted you has come back and says she wants to get back together. If she truly regrets ghosting you and ending the relationship, it’s possible she may even want to get back together. Unfortunately, you’ll have to work out whether this is a case of her thinking she can pick up and drop you at her own convenience. Even if you have feelings for her, it’s important not to fall into this cycle. She should at least recognize her actions and apologize for ghosting you if you are to give her a second chance. After that, she will need to prove over time that she can be trusted.
She wants to keep you around but on a back bench
Often when ghosters come back, they are not looking for anything serious. They may simply be wanting to keep you around by benching you. Perhaps they have free time to fill. Or, they may sense that you still have feelings for them. If you are to let her back into your life, it’s important to manage your own expectations. Just because she’s started messaging you again, it does not mean that she necessarily wants to get back together. Frankly speaking, she may be messaging you out of boredom. Ensure that she does not see you as a convenient option because you have strong feelings for her.
Related: Here’s How To Apply The No Contact Rule After Being Ghosted
What should I do if a girl ghosted me and came back?
Putting it simply, if a girl who’s ghosted you in the past has now come back, you have two choices. Either you ignore her efforts to reach out or you can respond. If you respond, it’s important to figure out what she is looking for and proceed with caution.
Do not respond
Depending on your feelings towards her, you may wish to ignore her efforts to reach out. This is completely understandable. Her past actions already demonstrated a lack of respect and consideration for your feelings. You may have felt burned by her ghosting you and spent considerable time trying to figure out what happened. It’s absolutely fair if you do not want her back in your life.
Respond and Proceed with Caution
You may feel tempted to let her back into your life. If you do decide to respond to her, ensure that you do not have any expectations of her behaviour. Sure, she may message you and want to know how you’re doing. Or, she may even say that she misses you. However, this does not mean that she genuinely cares about you and your well-being. It certainly does not mean that she feels sorry for ghosting you and regrets her decision (unless she actually apologizes).
Given the fact that she ghosted you previously, it’s important to figure out what she actually wants this time. It’s normal to feel reluctant to jump back into chatting with her regularly or meeting up with her. Even if you have feelings for her, it’s important that she treats you well and earns your trust again. The last thing you want is to be on the receiving end of disrespectful behaviour like ghosting for a second time.
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