Ghosting vs ignoring: what’s the difference? How can you tell if someone is ghosting you or they are just ignoring you for the time being? It can be difficult to differentiate between ghosting and ignoring. If someone who usually replies quickly has suddenly gone silent on you, when they don’t reply for a day or two it can seem like a long time.
Ghosting vs ignoring: here are the main differences
Ghosting is a way of ending the relationship but ignoring does not necessarily mean the relationship is over
While ghosting involves one person cutting off communication in order to end the relationship for good. However, ignoring someone may be temporary. One person may ignore the other person after a conflict or in order to show that they are miffed. However, they do not view the relationship as being over. They may simply need some time away from you and are giving you the silent treatment.
A person may ignore someone when they are upset in hopes that they will figure out what the matter is
Sometimes when a person is mad at someone, they may choose to ignore them instead of communicating directly. They may either not enjoy confrontation or be hoping that the other person will somehow figure out why they are upset.
For example, a guy forgets his girlfriend’s birthday and she refuses to speak to him for a few days. She is upset with him forgetting her birthday and wants him to know that she is hurt. However, instead of directly telling him why she is upset, she is hoping he will work it out himself and apologize.
A ghoster, however, is not hoping for any kind of reconciliation. Someone who ghosts will have decided that the relationship is over and they don’t want any discussions or apologies. They simply want out of the relationship and are not hoping for you to contact them.
Ghosting is permanent no contact whereas ignoring may be temporary
If someone is ghosting you, they will not respond to any of your messages and they certainly won’t reach out to you. Ghosting is a decision to cut you off completely. On the other hand, ignoring may be short-lived e.g. a few hours or a few days. They may be pulling away because they are upset or need some space. However, they may offer subtle clues that they are willing to engage by sending very curt replies. They may come round and reach out to you later on or respond to your messages once they have cooled down and gathered their thoughts.
Related: How Does the Ghoster Feel After Ghosting Someone? Well, It Depends.
What should I do if I can’t figure out if I’m being ghosted or ignored?
- Try reaching out to see what’s the matter
- If there’s still response at all for few days then it’s more likely you’re being ghosted
- If you are not keen on the relationship and don’t like lack of communication, leave things be
How you deal with being ghosted or ignored really depends on how you feel about the relationship and what you are aiming to achieve. If you have been happy with the relationship overall and the other person suddenly seems to have stopped replying, it’s fair to reach out and see what the matter is. You may send a message like “hey, we haven’t spoken in a few days. Just wanted to check in and see if everything’s ok? If something is the matter, I’d like to discuss it with you.” Perhaps they do reply your message but seem annoyed. You may need to do further investigating to find out what happened. If you’ve tried reaching out several times to no avail, it’s possible they are ghosting you. The more time that passes, the more likely it is they are ghosting you.
Is it worth reaching out at all?
If you have your doubts about the relationship or simply don’t dealing with someone who gives you the silent treatment then you may opt to leave things be. Effective communication is important for any relationship to succeed. It could be that you simply don’t enjoy being with someone who ignores you whenever there is a problem. Alternatively, if you get the sense that you are actually being ghosted, you may feel it’s simply not worth your time reaching out.
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