If you’ve been happily chatting with someone you’ve met on an online dating app, you may be wondering how long to wait before meeting them in person. The appropriate length of time can vary depending on circumstances. Perhaps they live far away from you or have an unusual work or travel schedule. This will inevitably make it slightly trickier to make plans with them. However, in ordinary circumstances, it’s usually more advantageous to meet up sooner rather than later. Does it seem that you are both interested and there are no red flags? If so, arranging a meeting within the first one or two weeks of matching is a reasonable time frame.
Why is it better to meet up with someone early on?
When it comes to online dating, how long you wait before meeting can determine whether you find what you are looking for. Often, the chemistry you may sense during online interactions may simply not translate to real life chemistry. The other person may be completely different to what you’d expected. Perhaps their dating profile portrays an image of a fun-loving extrovert, but unfortunately, they can hardly hold a conversation in real life. If you are looking for someone to meet and do activities with, it’s essential that you meet your matches relatively soon. Only then can you decide whether it’s worth pursuing any further.
Meeting someone in person gives you so much more information than simply exchanging messages online. Not only can you gain insight into their personality, but you can better gauge how interested you are in them. For example, you may end up being impressed by their funny stories. Or you may discover you have even more in common than you’d expected.
Meeting Up Sooner = Time Saved
If they turn out to not to be your cup of tea, then at least you know with certainty. There’s no need to continue messaging them on the dating app. You’ll save yourself from chatting with them for weeks or months or building up hopes and expectations. Rather than wondering what if, you can move on and focus on other things.
Online Dating: How Long to Wait Before Meeting Tip 1. Suggesting meeting up will filter out people who have absolutely zero intention of meeting you
Online dating apps are full of people in different situations and with a diverse range of objectives. Some are looking for their next girlfriend, whereas some may be simply looking to exchange a few flirty messages. If you suggest meeting up in person and they evade the topic or go quiet, this is telling. Even if they seemed interested in their messages, they are simply not keen to meet you in person. If you’re seeking real-life relationships from online dating, it’s pointless continuing chatting with this person.
The other possibility is that they continue acting interested but flake at the last minute with a lame excuse. Unfortunately, this is quite a common occurrence with online dating. They may back out before your proposed meeting, saying they are busy with work, or not even giving an excuse. If they fail to make an alternative future plan, it shows they simply wanted to ditch.
What if you wait too long before meeting with someone you’ve matched with online?
Online dating is a very quick game. People can be bombarded with new matches and messages several times a day. Many people will agree that timing can play a crucial factor in the relationships we develop. Perhaps you’ve been lucky to match with someone who piques your interest and you seem to hit it off well with your initial conversation. It’s a good idea to suggest meeting up in real life. Or, if you’d prefer to be the one asked, you can certainly hint towards meeting up. It’s certainly possible that if you leave things too long before meeting, the initial conversation flow can easily dwindle. The fact that you are both messaging other prospects will contribute to this, too. It’s far too easy to say “oh well, next!” when the initial excitement fades.
Online dating: How long to wait before meeting. Tip 2. How to suggest meeting up in person
If you are interested in this person, it’s good to meet up with them in the next one or two weeks. This way, there’s still a fresh sense of excitement. This reduces the possibility of both of you getting distracted by other possibilities. Of course, it depends on both of your individual circumstances. Perhaps you or they have an odd schedule. The point is not to leave it too long until the level of interest has already started fading.
Happy to do the asking? Great! Here are some easy ways to suggest meeting up in person.
- It’s been really nice chatting with you. Wondering if you’d be interested to meet up for coffee (or other activity) some time?
- Have you got some free time next weekend? It would be nice to meet up in person if you’re free.
- Would you be interested in checking out e.g. the new exhibition together on Saturday?
Your choice of first date may vary from something as simple as coffee, to checking out an exhibition. Or if you already know you have some common hobbies, you could suggest something of interest to both of you. Ensure it is somewhere that you will both feel comfortable and you won’t be stuck spending a huge amount of time together if they turn out to not be your type.
Related: Online Dating: 5 Signs He’s Not Interested
Online dating: How long to wait before meeting. Tip 3. Don’t forget safety
Safety is very important when it comes to online dating. Only meet in public places, ideally in the day time. Avoid giving out too many personal details. After all, you may never see them again. There’s simply no need for them to know your full name, where you live, which company you work at. For all you know, their online dating profile may contain false information. You may wish to tell a friend about your meeting so at least there’ll be someone looking out for you. Even if you feel the date went well, do not get into their car or goto their home. It’s far better to air on the side of caution. Never feel pressured into going anywhere or doing anything you’re not comfortable doing.
Online dating: How long to wait before meeting. Tip 3. Enjoy yourself
If you’ve made plans to meet someone for the first time, try to relax and have no expectations. Simply treat it as a casual meeting where you are getting to know someone a bit better. They may turn out to be different to what you expected. As long has they haven’t told serious lies on their dating profile, you can simply remain polite and courteous. Once the meeting is over, you have no obligation to see them again.
If you do end up getting along well, great! Again, it’s a good idea to not have any expectations. After all, you don’t know how they felt about the meeting. If the relationship progresses, it will happen naturally. Whatever the outcome of your meeting, you can simply appreciate it as an opportunity to meet with someone new and learn more about them.
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