Updated: 2nd May 2023
Have you been ghosted but not blocked? Maybe you’ve waited a significant period of time, hoping that the guy or girl you have been seeing will message you, only to realise you’ve been ghosted. When the reality hits that they have ghosted you, it is inevitably disappointing. It may even be heartbreaking if you really liked them. You may have spent days analyzing (or over-analyzing) everything that happened between you. What can make things even more confusing is when you have been ghosted but not blocked.
The different ways in which you can be ghosted but not blocked
On Whatsapp or messenger
There are two ways in which you can be ghosted but not blocked. The first is when you have obviously been ghosted by the other person. However, you notice that they have not blocked you on Whatsapp, the dating app, or whichever messaging service you use to communicate. You may be able to see when they are online or when they last logged in. If you sent the ghoster any messages after being ghosted, you may be able to see if they had been delivered or read.
On social media
The other way in which you may be ghosted but not blocked is when they keep you as a ‘friend’ or ‘follower’ on their social media accounts e.g. Facebook, Instagram etc. Perhaps you can still see his or her online status or view their stories and updates. This can range from being annoying to even intolerable. After being ghosted, the last thing most people want is to see all the fun things they’ve been up to that don’t include you.
If you’ve been ghosted but not blocked on Whatsapp, the dating app or other messaging apps, it does not really mean much
Maybe it didn’t occur to the ghoster to block you
Putting it simply, if they’ve ghosted you, they do not want you in their life anymore. It may not have occurred to them to go as far as to block you on Whatsapp or whichever messaging service you guys had been using previously. This is because in their mind, it’s clearly over between the two of you. The fact that they did not block you does not mean that they want you to get in touch with them. Nor does it mean that they will reach out to you again in the future.
After being ghosted, the ghostee may send messages to reach out initially. This is because they may not even realize they’ve been ghosted. They may wonder if something happened to the other person’s phone or whether they are simply busy. However, when the ghoster fails to respond, the ghostee will eventually get the message that they’ve been ghosted. This can take varying lengths of time depending on the person involved and what the relationship was like between the two of you.
To many ghosters, blocking the person they dated is just not that necessary
Most people will stop messaging after they realize they’ve been ghosted. After all, messaging a ghoster who consistently does not reply and clearly does not care is a pointless exercise. In this situation, the ghoster merely needs to ignore a few messages before you stop messaging all together. After that, you’re out of their life. Many ghosters will be satisfied that you will no longer reach out and they can move on happily. Therefore, blocking the other person is not necessary.
If you’ve been ghosted but not blocked on social media, it also does not mean much
After being ghosted, some people may question why the ghoster has not removed them from their social media accounts e.g. Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. However, this is not something that you should think too much into. The reality is that most people have plenty of ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ on their social media accounts. It’s simply not a big deal to the ghoster that you’re still able to view each other’s posts and photos. It probably did not even occur to them that they should block you.
The ghoster may be the type who is not very active on social media
If the ghoster is someone who is not particularly active on social media i.e. they rarely post updates or photos, it does not make a difference to them as to whether you are still following each other. Putting it simply, social media does not hold huge importance in their life. Therefore, it may not have even crossed their mind to block you after ghosting you.
If the ghoster is someone who uses social media apps frequently, they may have many followers. They probably forgot that you’re even on their list of friends.
Nowadays, many people have a huge number of friends and followers on their social media accounts. They may enjoy posting details of their lives for others to see. In fact, many of their followers may be people they once knew or had some past connection with but are not necessarily people they keep in touch currently. They may not be in the habit of removing or blocking people from their social media accounts. It doesn’t matter to them if it was a failed relationship or there’s zero chance you’ll even see each other again.
Sometimes, the ghoster did not block you on social media because they want you to see what they’re up to. They might even be curious about your life too.
The ghoster may simply enjoy the fact that people can see what they’re up to
People post stories on social media because they want other people to see them. It’s as simple as that. Perhaps they enjoy sharing details of their life (both good and bad, but mostly good). They may even spend significant time curating their posts to influence how other people view them. Most people enjoy receiving likes and positive comments in reaction to their posts.
If the ghoster is someone who enjoys other people seeing what they are up to, then there’s no reason to block you from their social media accounts. They may even be trying to keep up their number of followers. They may simply enjoy the fact that as many people as possible can see snapshots of their life.
The ghoster who did not block you on social media may be still a bit curious about what you’re up to do. However, this does not mean they ever want to get back in touch.
The reality is, we’ve all stalked people on social media. Ok, it probably wasn’t ‘actual’ stalking, but most people have experienced being curious about someone they ‘kind’ of know. This curiosity probably led you to scroll through their historical photos and posts. Social media is the perfect way to privately snoop around and see what other people are up to. How else would you know if that cute girl you met is still single? Or maybe you’re curious to see what someone you knew before looks like today.
If you’ve been ghosted but not blocked from the ghoster’s Facebook, IG or other social media accounts, they may still occasionally view your stories and posts. Human beings are curious by nature and by keeping you on their list they maintain access to your posts.
What to do if you’re still ‘friends’ with your ghoster on social media
If you’ve been ghosted but not blocked on Facebook, IG etc., try not to obsess over his or her status updates or stories. It’s unlikely you will gain anything from this, aside from stirring up negative feelings. If he or she is posting stories of the fun party they went to while you’re miserable wondering why you were ghosted, this is clearly of no benefit to you. It does not really matter what they are up to.
If it’s annoying seeing the ghoster’s updates and posts on social media, simply remove them from as a ‘friend’ or ‘follower’
If you find it irritating having your ghoster pop up on your news feed, you may want to be the one to remove the ghoster from your list of friends. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be subjected to their photos and updates on a regular basis after being ghosted. Does it matter that they went on holiday? Does it matter that they’re dating someone new? No, it does not.
In conclusion, if you’ve been ghosted but not blocked do not think too much into it. The fact of the matter is if they ghosted you, they don’t want a relationship
The fact that you were ghosted you shows that the other person simply does not want to continue the relationship with you. You may be tempted to try and understand why they ghosted you and reach out to them. If someone has ghosted you, reaching out to them repeatedly will not bring you any further closure. It’s likely that you will be disappointed further.
Just because you have been ghosted but not blocked on a messenger app or social media, it does not mean that you should still have hope for the relationship. Often, people use several apps for messaging and posting updates. They may have so many contacts that it may have simply not occurred to them to block you completely.
It can be confusing if you are ghosted but not blocked
When you are ghosted but not blocked on social media, it also allows the ghoster to view your profile and updates. This can be extremely confusing for people who have been ghosted and then realise that the ghoster is still viewing their stories. If this happens to you, try not to dwell on this, or read too much into it. After all, any healthy and happy relationship requires communication and respect from both sides.
The fact that a ghoster has been viewing your photos or stories is absolutely no substitute for a ‘relationship.’ Even if they watch your stories daily, it’s simply not worth your attention. They may simply be bored or curious about what you are up to. However, they are unwilling to actually put in the true effort required to have a proper relationship.
Sara’s Story
“I had been seeing this guy I met through an online dating app. We’d met around 5 times but not on a very regular basis. He was really fun to hang out with but I got the feeling that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. After our last date, he just didn’t seem as interested as he’d been previously. Our communication tailed off. I assumed he was no longer interested in meeting up. However, what I found weird was that he would always view my Instagram stories. Sometimes he’d even like my photos. A part of me wanted to ask him straight: ‘why are you still liking my posts when you have no intention of speaking to me?’ It was pretty frustrating. When I told my girl friends, a few others said they’d had the same experience. I guess it’s just modern dating.”
If you’ve been ghosted but not blocked, here are 5 key things to remember:
- The person who ghosted you does not want to be with you
- The ghoster lacks respect for your feelings
- Just because they haven’t blocked you, it does not mean that they want to get back in touch with you
- If you’ve been ghosted and the ghoster still follows you on social media, it does not mean that they care about you. Either it did not occur to them to block you or they are just nosey.
- You deserve far better
Stop wondering why they didn’t block you and focus on moving on
If you’ve been ghosted but not blocked, you may be wondering why they still want to keep you as a contact on their Whatsapp or social media account. However, it simply doesn’t matter. The reality is that they simply could not be bothered to end things in a decent way. They lack respect for you and do not want to be with you. They are taking the easy way out by ghosting you instead of having a mature conversation about why they wanted to stop seeing you. The worst thing you can do is wonder and hope if they will come back, simply because they have not blocked you.
It can be especially difficult if you have been ghosted but not blocked because you may find their photos or stories popping up on your newsfeed. You may feel like salt is being rubbed into the wound when seeing his or her photos having fun, especially if you were hurt by being ghosted. If you find it too much to bear, you may consider removing him or her as a contact from your social media accounts.
The relationship is over, whether or not they blocked you
The fact that they ghosted you means that the relationship is already over. Wondering why you were ghosted but not blocked is unlikely to achieve anything. Chances are they are simply not in the habit of blocking other people completely. Or they may enjoy the fact that you can still see what they are up to. However, the reasons as to why the ghosted but did not block you are not important. You are better off moving on and focusing on your relationships with people who deserve a place in your life. You deserve someone who genuinely cares for and appreciates you, not someone who ghosted you.
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