I Miss The Guy Who Ghosted Me, Help! Here’s How To Deal.

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After being ghosted by a guy, it’s common to need some time to gain closure. Regardless of whether you dated for a long time or not, being ghosted likely felt like an awful way to be broken up with. Even if you know that him ghosting you was disrespectful and you deserved far better, you may still miss him. If you’ve been finding yourself thinking “I miss the guy who ghosted me, help!” then firstly, remember that this is very common. Here’s how to deal.

Possible reasons as to why you miss the guy who ghosted you

The two of you shared a bond together

Every relationship is unique and involves a bond being formed between two people. Even if the two of you dated for weeks or months, you had a relationship. You got to know this guy and shared your thoughts and feelings with him. Even though he ghosted you and you know he will never be in your life again, it can be difficult to suddenly switch off the feelings you had for him.

You are reminiscing the happy parts of your relationship

If you’re still missing the guy who ghosted you, chances are, you’re missing the good times you had together. Prior to being ghosted, there must have been good aspects of your relationship for the two of you to date at all. Perhaps you had lots of fun dates, visited interesting places together or even laughed together while watching hilarious TV shows.

You like the person you became when you were around him

It’s normal for different people to bring out different aspects of our personality. Maybe you felt like you could be more fun and spontaneous around this guy. Or, maybe he stimulated your intellectual side and you could delve into deep, meaningful discussions together. Perhaps you miss the person that you were when the two of you spent time together.

He was a part of your daily or weekly routine and now you’re struggling to fill that gap

Being in a relationship means making someone part of your life and routine. Perhaps there were regular things that the two of you used to do together e.g. date night on the weekend, watching your favourite TV shows together, or even messaging each other regularly throughout the day. It’s possible that after he ghosted you and the relationship ended, you suddenly had gaps in your life that you’re now having to consciously fill.

You felt loved or validated when you were together

If being in a relationship with this guy made you feel loved, cared for or validated, it’s only normal to be missing that feeling of security. Most people crave that feeling of closeness with another person, which is why we seek out someone special to share our lives with.

He possessed many qualities that you look for in a guy and it’s hard to find someone else

Many of us do look for certain qualities when seeking a partner. Perhaps you tend to look for guys who are tall, athletic and extroverted, and this guy ticked all your boxes. Or, you may be attracted to guys with a great sense of humour and at the time it seemed like he was your dream guy. Even if he ended up not treating you well, you may have felt during your relationship that he was what you were looking for. It may be difficult to find someone else who ticks all your boxes which is why you felt he was special and still miss him.

If you’re thinking “I miss the guy who ghosted me, how can I stop missing him?” here are 4 things to remember

1. Remind yourself that he is not missing you

This guy ghosted you because he wanted to break up with you and remove you from his life. He clearly was not that into you and is most likely not missing you. Missing a guy who does not want a relationship with you is absolutely pointless. It doesn’t change the fact that he does not want to be you. This is the harsh reality.

2. Removing reminders of him may help you stop missing him

If it helps, you may wish to remove reminders of the guy who ghosted you. This may include belongings that he left at your place, photos etc. If you still have him as a friend on social media then avoid viewing his posts or stories. You may even wish to delete him from your social media accounts all together. Having constant reminders of the guy who ghosted you will not help you get over him.

3. Don’t look at your relationship through rose-tinted glasses

No matter how ‘great’ this guy seemed while the two of you were dating, he really can’t be that great if he ghosted you. It’s easy to reminisce the good times you had together and, as a result, miss his company. However, if he ghosted you, there were clearly issues in your relationship, whether you realized it or not. Even if he possessed all the qualities you look for in a guy, it’s meaningless if he did not value you.

Any guy that does not want to be with you and ghosts you to end things is clearly not compatible with you. The only type of relationship that will make you happy is if the other person wholeheartedly wants to be with you and enjoys your company. Remember that him ghosting you shows that he’s not the right guy for you.

4. You may be missing him because he’s left a gap in your life but you will get over him eventually

Being ghosted by a guy you dated is tough because the person you once shared your feelings with and laughed with is suddenly gone. You may find yourself with more free time and miss hanging out with him. However, these gaps in your life can be filled with other things. You can spend time with friends, family or do the things that are important to you. You may even find it therapeutic dedicating yourself to jobs such as decluttering your home or sprucing up your bedroom. Even though you miss the guy who ghosted you now, you will eventually stop missing him if you keep yourself busy fill your life with other things.

A final note

Remember that it’s normal to miss the guy who ghosted you if he meant something to you. At the end of the day, we are only human. It’s hard to cut off one’s feelings for someone just like that. If you find yourself missing him, then take a step back and remind yourself of why the relationship was not meant to be. It may take some time, but by focusing on keeping yourself busy and moving on, you’ll be able to stop missing him.

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