If someone’s ghosted you, why not try using one of our ghosting responses? Sure, it doesn’t change the fact that they (cowardly) ghosted you. However, calling them out might give you some satisfaction. It may even help you gain closure knowing that you have the last word before walking away.
After being ghosted, many people may question whether they should respond at all. It’s certainly not wise to spam the ghoster with abusive hate messages or questions. Nor should you plead for them to come back (you deserve better, seriously). It’s also perfectly reasonable to not respond and simply focus on the future. However, sending a short message acknowledging the reality of the situation, after which you move on, is also fair. Remember, these best ghosting responses are with the expectation that the ghoster will not reply and you are over it, too.
Best ghosting responses if… you’re chill
“If you had said you didn’t want to continue, I’d completely respect that. I’d much rather you were direct about it than just disappearing. Never mind though, it’s over.”
“As I haven’t heard from you in a while, I’ll be honest and transparent. It’s over.”
These simple responses show you have accepted what has happened. There is no questioning or invitation for them to respond. They conclude your ‘relationship’ once and for all.
“I’ll do you a favour and block you.”
Short and sweet, this text essentially combines ‘I get it’s over’ with ‘whatever’ and ‘f*ck you.’
Best ghosting response if… you’d only met once or twice
“I understand that we’re no longer speaking. It was nice meeting you, take care.”
Sometimes you need to be the bigger person. Even if you thought things had potential, if you didn’t know them well, you don’t have much right to be angry. Realistically, in dating, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. The best ghosting responses for someone you don’t know well are respectful. This message shows that you acknowledge it’s not going anywhere and have no hard feelings.
Best ghosting response if…you suspected it was coming
“To be fair, I can’t say I’m surprised that you disappeared. Maybe you need to work on your game a bit more.”
This sarcastic text shows that you were not totally oblivious to their actions. It also shows that they did not have the power to truly hurt you.
Best ghosting response if… you’re popular
“Must admit, I didn’t expect you to ditch like that. My only regret is turning down other invitations from other people, as I thought I’d give things a chance with you. At least I’m no longer wasting time on someone who doesn’t care.”
You may not be super bothered by the fact that you got ghosted, but still want to call them out. If this is you, the best ghosting responses allow you to remind the ghoster that you have options and have moved on swiftly. Their loss.
Best ghosting response if… they led you on
Related: 5 Telltale Signs He’s Acting Distant
If you had been seeing this person relatively often, it’s only natural to entertain the possibility that the relationship may progress into something more serious. Maybe they had even given you the impression that you two had a future together. The worst is if they mosted you and won your trust with false promises before ghosting you. You may consider saying something along the lines of:
“I totally get that it’s over between us. Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to do with someone like you either. Given that we (insert: spent a fair amount of time together / discussed future plans / planned going on holiday – you get the idea), it’s basic manners to tell someone that you don’t want to continue. If I knew you were planning to randomly disappear, trust me I would not have even bothered in the first place.”
This message shows that you acknowledge that the relationship is over. It also explains that had you known their true colours, you would not have invested any time into this person. It shows that you have standards for the relationships in your life. Any interest you may have once had in them is now gone.
Best ghosting response if… you spent ages wondering what was going on and are now pissed
“I don’t care about not seeing you again. What I do care about is the time I wasted wondering what was up. Since you don’t have the guts to say it, I will. It’s over.”
One of the most annoying things about ghosting is the phase where you are trying to figure out whether they are just busy, or whether they are ghosting you. You may have spent ages checking your phone for any sign of them. You may not be that upset about losing them but found the whole experience infuriating and a huge waste of time.
Best ghosting response if… you got stood up
“You’re delusional if you think it’s acceptable to make plans with someone and not show up. I wouldn’t have cared if you said you’d rather cancel. It’s not as if I don’t have other things to do. Have some decency and respect for other people’s time. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”
Anyone who’d been stood up would understandably be annoyed, if not angry. Sitting alone in a café or restaurant waiting for your date to arrive can be nerve-wrecking and that’s even if they do actually show up. When they stand you up, it’s not only embarrassing, but outright rude.
Best ghosting responses if… they zombied you
Related: What is Zombieing in Dating?
Occasionally, Ghosters may come back from the dead. Unfortunately, there are people oblivious and selfish enough to think that they can pick up and drop people at their own convenience. Yep, they do exist.
“Not interested. Don’t write me again.”
This blunt text is pretty self-explanatory. It shows that you have absolutely no interest in speaking with them. If they thought they had a chance, they’d better think again.
“You must be a fool if you think you’re going to gain anything from messaging me.”
“Is this a joke? Don’t answer that.”
These ghosting responses also convey that you are not interested (in a slightly more aggressive way). What did they expect, anyway?
What if none of these responses are suitable for me?
For those of you who are agonizing over how to respond, you may have the following problems.
What if I miss them and want them to come back?
Frankly speaking, someone who has ghosted you does not care. They do not care about you, nor do they care that you miss them. They certainly do not want to come back. It’s understandable that you may miss their company or things about them. However, it’s important to remember that they no longer want a relationship with you, which is why they ghosted you.
It really sucks that they ghosted you, but you still need to respect that they want out. You deserve far better than someone who doesn’t value your company. It may be hard, but it’s advisable to take a step back and resist the urge to message them. You may find our tips on how to deal with ghosting helpful.
What if I’m really angry about them ghosting me and have many unanswered questions / want to vent my rage?
If you are still extremely angry about being ghosted, try to calm down before sending any kind of message. You may feel tempted to hurl abuse at them or send angry texts with profanities. You may have been rewinding and playing all the things they had previously said to you, trying to make some sense of the whole situation. Perhaps you have many unanswered questions or things that you are upset about.
If this is you, you may want to reach out to the ghoster in an attempt to gain answers. Unfortunately, this is not realistic. Bombarding them with angry questions is exactly what they ghoster was trying to avoid by ghosting you. They almost certainly will not respond. When you reach out with expectations that they will reply, you set yourself up for major disappointment. It may even cause you to experience further anger and resentment. This is not healthy and does not benefit you. It’s far better focusing on moving on rather than trying to demand explanations from the ghoster.
The key points
In conclusion, when it comes to responding to a ghoster, the crucial things to bear in mind are:
- They do not care about speaking with you or seeing you
- They do not want a relationship with you
- You should therefore not expect a reply
If you wish to respond to the ghoster with a final message, the best ghosting responses are ones that maintain your dignity. By keeping it to the point and calling them out on their behaviour, after which you move on, you confirm that the door is firmly closed.
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