Being ghosted is something women often feel uncomfortable discussing. Women tend to turn to their close friends for dating advice, but the problem with ghosting is that not all women are willing to openly admit to their friends “he ghosted me” due to embarrassment, especially when they thought the relationship was going well. Let’s be honest: being ghosted sucks. Whether it was a guy who you had totally fallen in love with, or a guy you were just testing the waters with, if you had any warm feelings towards that person, being ghosted will leave you feeling confused, frustrated and possibly even heartbroken.
For some women, being ghosted came totally unexpected, whereas for others, they had lingering doubts at the back of their head about the guys they were dating, and ghosting merely confirmed their suspicions. We spoke to 5 women about their experience of being ghosted.
“It showed his true intentions.” Ali, 24
“I had been out on a couple of dates with the guy, nothing serious. He was an interesting guy so I figured, “why not?” but I did feel that he could be a bit too touchy when we met up, which made me slightly uncomfortable. On our last date, we got a bit drunk and we kissed. I then explained to him as a heads up that I don’t believe in sex before marriage. After that date, he totally disappeared. It hurt for a bit, but I guess it showed his true intentions, which overall is a good thing. I’m now dating a guy who understands my views and accepts me for who I am.”
“He just never replied.” Cat, 28
“I’d been dating this guy for about 2 months but it wasn’t ‘official.’ To be fair, he seemed pretty into me, however, I’m also quite realistic and never jump the gun in relationships. The last time we met up, we went for dinner and drinks and it was fun. After that: silence. It was weird and I did message a few times to see what was up, but he just never replied. Who the hell knows. Seemed a bit shady – maybe he already had a girlfriend? Whatever. He probably wasn’t that interested, to say the least, so why should I waste my time fretting about it?”
“Looking back, I was obviously a booty call, but I didn’t see it at the time.” Liz, 25
“I hit it off with a guy I met at a house party and we started meeting up. He’d always invite me over to his to hang out, usually with alcohol involved, but I just assumed he wanted to get to know me. I was so infatuated with him that it just didn’t occur to me that he was only inviting me over at night and almost every time it led to us having sex. He was charming and funny and would always tell me he was really into me.”
“Later on, when I started suggesting things like we go for dinner with my friends, he suddenly went a bit cold and started contacting me less, and one day, he just stopped replying all together. I often saw him with other girls, though I’m not sure how serious they were. Looking back, we hadn’t even ‘dated’ and I was obviously a booty call, but I didn’t see it at the time.”
“It took me a while to get my confidence back and start dating again.” Sonia, 29.
“I got ghosted by a guy I had been seeing for about 3 months. Basically, I ignored all the red flags … he would always change plans at the last minute and would disappear for days at a time, saying he was ‘busy.’ My friends told me not to waste my time but I didn’t listen, thinking I could get him to fall in love with me. He totally lost interest eventually and just stopped messaging and even blocked my number. Soon, my friends saw pictures of him on Instagram with another woman on looking very lovey dovey and the dates of the photos overlapped with the times we had been seeing each other. I realized what a fool I had been. It took me a while to get my confidence back and start dating again as I felt humiliated.
“I had been scammed.” Sally, 27
“I think what happened to me is probably worse than other girls who’ve been ghosted. We were in an established, committed relationship, not some casual fling, or so I thought, for about half a year. One day I got home and saw that all the things he’d left in my place were gone- clothes, shoes, gadgets etc. He had my spare key to my place and he had left that on the table, too.
A huge feeling of dread filled my body and I went around my place looking for any signs of him, or a letter, something explaining why he had gone. I tried calling him but he’d obviously blocked my number. Whatsapp, Facebook, all blocked. What the f***, right? The worst part is, I’d recently lent him $3000 to cover his long-term debts, which he promised to give back to me that week. We didn’t have any mutual friends so I didn’t have any way to chase him for the money back. It hit me that all along it obviously meant nothing to him and I had been scammed.”
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