He Ghosted Me And Went Back To His Ex, Why? 5 Reasons Why.

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If you’ve recently been ghosted by a guy that you were dating, you may be finding it difficult to come to terms with being dropped out of the blue. Being ghosted can be hard, especially if you really liked the guy. However, if you later found out that he had re-ignited the romance with an ex, this may have really rubbed salt in the wound. Not only did he ghost you but he’s already with someone else. You’re probably thinking to yourself “he ghosted me and went back to his ex, why?” After all, doesn’t the fact that they already broke up once mean that they’re not meant to be?

Here are 5 reasons as to why he may have ghosted you and gone back to his ex

If you’re wondering why he went back to his ex after ghosting you, there are several possibilities. However, bear in mind that you’ll likely never figure out exactly why he ghosted you. Given that he’s cut off communication with you and already in a relationship, asking him why he ghosted you is likely to be futile.

Reason 1. He still has feelings for his ex

The most likely reason as to why this guy went back to his ex after ghosting you is because he still has feelings for her. As we all know, relationships are not black and white. Even after breaking up with someone, it’s very common to still have feelings (or even love) the person you were once with. After all, you may have spent all your free time together over months or years and built up a life together.

It’s certainly possible that the two of you did have good chemistry and enjoyed your time together. However, if his feelings for his ex were far stronger than what he felt for you, then he was simply following his heart by going back to her. Unfortunately, ghosting you was an insensitive way to end things. The fact that he ghosted you shows that he did not truly care about your feelings deep down.

Reason 2. He was not the one to initiate the breakup and he had been holding out for his ex the whole time

Sometimes, breakups can be one-sided i.e. one person initiating the breakup but the other person wanting to continue the relationship. If this was the case with this guy and his ex, he may have been holding out for her the whole time. Many guys who have been broken up with will happily start dating other people even though deep down they are still holding out for another girl.

If this guy was holding out for his ex the whole time, he may have been fine with dating you for the time being. You may have even had what felt like a proper relationship, not knowing that he was secretly hoping to get back with his ex.

You may not know the true reasons as to why they broke up

Even if he told you why they broke up, it’s possible there were other reasons that he hadn’t mentioned to you. For example, maybe his ex wasn’t ready for a proper relationship. Or, perhaps he had hurt her in some way and she couldn’t forgive him at the time. However, if things have now changed, he may have spotted an opportunity to get back together with his ex. As a result, he conveniently ghosted you.

Reason 3. He idealized their relationship after the breakup

Interestingly, humans are often prone to idealizing memories by only remembering the positive parts. This is true of experiences such as past relationships. It can be hard to let go of things that we genuinely enjoyed and we will often long for them once they are gone. For example, you may remember the amazing times you had laughing at your ex’s jokes or exploring new places together. However, it may be easy to forget that he didn’t want the same things in life as you.

If the guy who ghosted you idealized the relationship with his ex after breaking up with her, he may have missed certain things about her. This could be her personality, her looks or even the things that they used to do together. This is not to say that they are truly compatible. It may be glaringly obvious to outsiders that their relationship is volatile or unhealthy but if his perception is that his ex is amazing because of certain positive qualities, then he will be keen to go back to her.

Reason 4. They broke up because he wasn’t ready to commit but now he is

Relationships fail for many different reasons. Having different relationships goals is a common reason. Often, a couple may break up when the guy is not ready to commit to the girl e.g., to be a serious boyfriend or to take steps towards marriage. In this type of break up, both people may feel that they have a genuine connection, and they may even love each other deeply. However, it’s simply a matter of having incompatible life or relationship goals that makes the relationship difficult to sustain.

If the guy who ghosted you broke up with his ex for reasons relating to commitment but deep down feels that his ex is truly special and irreplaceable, then he likely would have felt conflicted about their breakup. It’s possible that during the course of their relationship, he felt unable to make any big commitments towards her. However, after losing her, he may have changed his mind. Depending on how long it’s been since their breakup, he may have grown a lot during their time apart. It may even be that after dating new people (such as you) he realized what he lost. He may have gone back to his ex because he now feels ready to commit to her.

Reason 5. He doesn’t know what he wants and she is persistent in pursuing him

After a breakup, some people are happy to accept the relationship is over and move on with their life. Even if they still have lingering feelings or feel heartbroken, they are good at creating boundaries with their ex and make a conscious effort to look forwards, not backwards. However, other people, especially those who did not want to break up in the first place, may struggle. They may try at all costs to get their ex back, regardless of whether he is dating someone new.

Someone who really wants their ex-boyfriend back may be very persistent

If his ex was unhappy to breakup in the first place and still has strong feelings for him, this may become an issue for any girls he dates after her. Some girls who have been broken up with but still like (or love) a guy will make it their mission to get him back. This type of girl may:

Say she wants to be ‘friends’ but try everything to get him back
Constantly text him
Interact with him on social media
Send him updates of her life including photos
Invite him to events on the pretence that they are ‘just friends’
Hang around his social group
Show up to things if she knows he will be there
Try to offer him emotional support

Unfortunately, many guys will find it difficult to bat off a very persistent ex-girlfriend. This is especially true if a guy still has a soft spot for his ex, or still cares about her. When she contacts him, he may feel bad about not responding to her messages or declining her invitations. Even if he was the one to initiate the breakup, he may enjoy receiving constant attention from his ex. In the end, if he is someone who does not know what he wants, he may eventually give in and go back to her.

He ghosted me and went back to his ex. What should I do?

There’s nothing you can do. Realize that a guy who ghosted you and went back to his ex clearly did not like you that much. It’s likely that he had feelings for his ex the whole time he was dating you. The fact that he did not have the decency to break up with you properly shows that he lacked respect for you. He did not care about your feelings. He was only thinking of himself and what he wanted.

You deserve someone who is sure about being with you. Someone who loves you and genuinely cares. Not someone who is half-hearted, dates you for a while and then pulls a disappearing act to go back to his ex. Your best bet is to accept the relationship is over and focus on moving on without this guy. You are far better off without him.

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