Updated 15th August 2023
What is ghosting in texting?
Nowadays, keeping in touch with the person you’re dating through texting or Whatsapp is essential. Not only does it help maintain communication in the relationship but can provide crucial clues about their feelings towards you. Unfortunately, ghosting in texting has become an easy way to end a relationship. Instead of dealing with the awkwardness (or drama) of explaining ‘it’s over,’ ghosters may simply send uninterested, enigmatic text messages. They may even just suddenly stop texting all together with no explanation, leaving you wondering why you were ghosted. If you’re in doubt as to whether you are being ghosted, read on.
In dating, it can be frustrating when he or she sends elusive text messages. When someone replies with “Been a bit busy lately” and makes no suggestions to meet up, it can leave you hanging. “Are they really that busy? Or are they simply not interested?” you may wonder.
How Do I Know If Someone Is Going To Ghost Me In Texting?
Although ghosting is defined as cutting off communication entirely (thereby ending the relationship), there may be hints preceding this. Some people describe a ‘feeling of uncertainty’ from the other person leading up to the final act of ghosting. Others have described long periods of silence in texting prior to ghosting.
People ghost because, for whatever reason, they lose interest in the relationship and do not want it to continue. Ghosting in texting is also one of the commonest ways to ghost someone. Therefore, if someone is demonstrating a lack of enthusiasm towards texting you and doesn’t seem active in keeping in touch or making plans, it’s simply not surprising when they ghost.
Here, we analyse how someone’s behaviour in texting can provide clues as to whether they may eventually ghost you. Please note that as with everything in relationships, there are no hard and fast rules. One’s behaviour can be subjective and influenced by one’s personality, habits, culture and more. What’s normal for one person may not be normal for someone else. However, the following behaviours in texting are generally negative. They may suggest a lack of interest from the other person.
Ghosting in texting Sign 1. Long response time
Response time in texting is a good indicator as to how highly you rank on someone’s list of priorities. Instead of basing your judgment on the one instance, it’s important to maintain perspective. For example, someone may take much longer to respond due to being busy at work. If they then go back to texting you frequently afterwards once it’s over, that’s perfectly reasonable. However, if the guy you are seeing responds sporadically, taking days to reply, this is not a good sign. If you find that you are responding the other person within the hour but he only replies you much later, it shows that the ball is in his court, not yours.
Ghosting in texting Sign 2. Long periods of silence
Putting it simply, when you really like someone, it’s normal to want to stay in contact with them regularly. It’s understandable that sometimes people go through periods where they cannot respond quickly in texting. However, if you are experiencing long periods of silence, this likely indicates a lack of interest. It’s possible they may like you as a person, but for whatever reason, they are not truly available for a relationship in which you are a part of their everyday life.
When it takes someone a week to send a simple text message saying “I’m good thx” with not much else then it’s hard to believe that they are genuinely interested. If someone has already reached the point where they are hardly bothered to respond, it’s easy to then cut someone out of their life entirely by ghosting. Remember: a person who wants a relationship with you will also put in effort to maintain it.
Related: He Left Me On Read, Why? 12 Reasons Why Guys Do This
Ghosting in texting Sign 3. They avoid making plans
If the other person is happy to text about trivial matters such as the weather but they always appear ‘busy’ and difficult to make plans with, this is a bad sign. Even people who are genuinely very busy will find a way to see you if they really want to. There’s a difference between the guy who says “sorry I’m pretty busy these days” but never makes concrete plans and the guy who says: “I’m working on a really important deal at work but it should settle by the end of next week. I would love to see you once the craziness is over. Can we make a plan for next next Saturday?”
Actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to dating. Sure, they may have alluded to future plans during conversation. Perhaps they’ve said things along the lines of “we should go check out that restaurant one day!” However, if these ideas never seem to materialize you need to be aware of this. If they truly want to see you then they will make plans. Even if they are busy, they will want to fix a date and time in the future. It’s as simple as that.
Related: Double Texting After Being Left On Read: Should You Do It?
Ghosting in texting Sign 4. Little genuine concern about you
When texting the guy or girl you are seeing, do your conversations seem one-sided? Sometimes it’s not just about the frequency of texting, but the actual content of what they are saying. Do they show any interest in your life? Or check in to see how you are doing? Do they show concern when you are not feeling well? If the answer is no, you may want to assess whether they actually care about you and your well-being. Someone who lacks concern for you is far more likely to ghost than someone who genuinely cares.
Ghosting in texting Sign 5. That feeling of uncertainty
Dating can be exciting, especially in the early stages where you are just getting to know the other person. Many people enjoy the phase where dating is simply just ‘dating’, with no titles, no expectations and no commitments. Everyone’s experienced that feeling where you check your phone periodically to see if the guy or girl you’re seeing has texted you. The uncertainty can be annoying yet elusive and exciting at the same.
However, if months down the line, the uncertainty persists and you feel like you can’t quite grasp where things are going, it could be a bad sign. If they are still vague or unreliable in texting you even after dating for a significant period of time, they may be intentionally keeping you at arm’s length.
A frequent comment from those who had been ghosted was that they felt the other person left them feeling slightly “uncertain.” Anne, 28, says “he would often text with short answers like ‘yeah went out with friends it was good, pretty busy week.’ He never really elaborated much about what he’d been up to and when he did want to meet up it was sporadic. Even though I’d been seeing him for a few months, I felt none the wiser about where I stood.”
Ghosting in texting Sign 6. The other person’s tone
A lack of enthusiasm in texting from the other person may also lead to feeling uncertain about the relationship. Does the other person seem to enjoy texting you? If you always have to be the one to initiate conversation, it’s unlikely they are keen. Someone who is into you will make effort and show enthusiasm in keeping in touch. If the other person’s tone seems deadpan with short replies compared to your flirty, suggestive messages, they may be not that into you. Essentially, relationships require two people who both enjoy putting effort in.
Ghosting in texting Sign 7. Texting You As A Last Resort
If he or she texts you when they’ve been cancelled on, or late at night when they are drunk, it’s important to look past their words and focus on their actions. Sure, their words might read “miss you babe” but where were they when you were open to making proper plans? Would someone who really enjoyed and looked forward to spending time with you only text you as a last resort?
Someone who sincerely likes you and treasures the time they spend with you will never treat you as a backup. More likely, they’ll be in a hurry to make concrete plans and be excited to meet up. You need to honestly evaluate how high up on this person’s priority list you stand. Often, if someone does not treat you well, you may know the answer but may not be willing to admit the truth.
Ghosting in texting examples
Example 1.
Sara: Hey! How have you been?
Nick: Good thanks.
(No further messages from Nick)
In this example of ghosting in texting, Nick replies Sara’s message politely but does not continue the conversation. Clearly he is not interested in continuing the conversation.
Example 2.
Tod: I ended up watching that new movie we spoke about, it was really good! You should go and see it too.
Lizzie: Oh, cool! Will check it out.
(No further messages from Lizzie)
Lizzie acknowledges Tod’s attempt to start a conversation and responds. However, she does not ask him any questions, nor does she continue chatting. It’s obvious that she’s not keen to chat to him.
When you like someone, it can be hard to recognize the signs when someone is going to ghost you
In conclusion, although people can ghost without warning, often, their behaviour in texting can provide clues as to whether they may ghost you further down the line. Texting has become an important way in which we demonstrate interest during dating and even a means of getting to know someone in the early stages. Therefore, if you find that something seems a bit ‘off’ in the other person’s texts, you may be onto something. It might be their tone, the response time, or even the circumstances in which they text you.
Sometimes when we have feelings for another person, the excitement of hearing from them can make us so happy that it’s easy to ignore the warning signs. While there’s no need to over-analyse every single text message, it’s important to stay level-headed and assess how genuinely interested they are. Some people are caught off-guard when they realize they have been a victim of ghosting in texting. If you take note of these signs of ghosting in texting, you’ll be better able to spot a ghoster.
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