How Does The Ghoster Feel After Ghosting Someone? The 10 Deciding Factors

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Being ghosted can leave the ghostee feeling confused, hurt and lonely. Ghosting is a harsh form of rejection that leaves one with many unanswered questions. Since there is no formal breakup, it can be difficult for one to come to terms with the relationship being over. They may agonize over being ghosted and may experience emotions such as embarrassment, anger and heartbreak. But how does the ghoster feel after ghosting someone? The answer is not straightforward.

In certain situations, the ghoster may feel guilty or remorseful about ghosting someone. The fact that they ghosted someone may bother them, causing them to feel uncomfortable for days or weeks after the end of the relationship. However, it’s also possible the ghoster feels nothing at all. They may be able to quickly erase the relationship from their memory and move on. So, what determines how a ghoster feels after ghosting someone? Here are the 10 deciding factors.

Factor 1. How much the ghoster cared about the relationship

The most important factor that determines how a ghoster feels after ghosting someone is how much they cared about the relationship. If the ghoster was not that into the relationship, they probably wanted an easy way of ending the relationship. This kind of ghoster sees no need to trouble themselves by explaining to the other person they’re simply not feeling it. Instead, they simply stop messaging.

The ghoster that never cared about the relationship will not feel remorse after ghosting someone

If the ghoster did not care about the other person, they likely did not think too hard before ghosting. This kind of ghoster who was not very keen from the beginning will feel little or no remorse after ghosting. They may have felt that the relationship was lacking chemistry, or the other person was not their type. For whatever reason, the relationship was not what they were looking for and they were not emotionally involved.

The ghoster who had some feelings for the other person may feel guilt and remorse after ghosting

Ghosting is extremely common nowadays, with an estimated 13% to 23% of people in the United States having been ghosted. However, it’s also common knowledge that ghosting is a far from ideal way of ending a relationship in most circumstances. Most people would prefer to be told that they are being broken up with, rather than being ghosted and spending time wondering what happened. It’s basic courtesy and respect.

The ghoster probably knows that ghosting is inconsiderate

Unless they’ve been living under a rock or have zero empathy, ghosters often know that ghosting someone is inconsiderate. They do usually realize that by ghosting someone, they are subjecting the other person to a period of confusion where they are trying to figure out what happened. They are aware that they are denying the other person the opportunity to understand the reasons for being broken up.

If the ghoster had feelings for the other person, they may feel some remorse about ghosting. They may feel deep down that their actions were cowardly and selfish They may know that the person they ghosted deserved better, especially if this person treated them respectfully throughout the relationship.

Factor 2. How long the relationship lasted and whether or not it was ‘serious’

A ghoster is more likely to feel guilty after ghosting someone after a long relationship

If the ghoster and the ghostee dated for a significant length of time, it’s possible that the ghoster feels some guilt or remorse after ghosting. What counts as a ‘significant’ length of time is very subjective. Some people may consider the other person a significant part of their life after a few dates, whereas others may not feel that way until several months or years of dating. It really depends on the relationship.

It’s possible that the ghoster initially thought that ghosting was the easiest option to end things. However, they may have developed some emotional attachment to the other person over the course of the relationship. They may know that ghosting will inevitably cause the other person a great deal of pain. As a result, they may feel bad about ghosting after doing it.

However, not all ghosters will feel bad about ghosting someone they were in a serious relationship with

This is not to say that someone who ghosts after dating a while (or even a serious relationship) feels bad about ghosting. They may have stopped having feelings for the other person for a while and checked themselves out emotionally. The fact that they ghosted is evidence that they don’t have huge regard for the other person’s feelings. If they cared that much, they wouldn’t have ghosted in the first place.

Factor 3. Whether the ghoster is someone from an online dating app

Unfortunately, ghosting seems to be especially common when it comes to online dating. Due to the sheer volume of people on these platforms, the whole dating experience becomes very fast-paced. People start multiple conversations, go on many first dates and drop their matches just as quickly. Ghosting has almost become part and parcel of online dating.

Ghosters often don’t care about ghosting people they’ve recently matched with online

In online dating, people match with many different people. Realistically, it’s impossible to maintain contact with every match and there will be people who one can write-off very quickly. Being ghosted on an online dating app is to be expected, whether it’s during the initial stages of chatting or before the first date. During the early stages of online dating, pretty much everyone gets ghosted at some point. A ghoster who has recently matched with someone on an online dating app will unlikely care about ghosting them.

Even if the ghoster had been dating someone they’d met online for a while, they may not have taken the relationship seriously

It’s possible that a ghoster may not feel much after ghosting someone they’d met online even if they’d dated for a wihle. They may have not taken the relationship that seriously, even if the other person did. This is especially likely if there were no conversations about exclusivity or stopping using dating apps. Chances are, they were still actively online dating and pursuing other matches. When they found something better, they probably didn’t think too much before ghosting.

Factor 4. Are they a serial ghoster?

Nowadays, many serial ghosters exist. This kind of person views ghosting as a normal and accepted behaviour in dating. Serial ghosters simply regard ghosting as part of dating. They often feel that they don’t owe an explanation to the other person. After all, dating is often regarded as a numbers game and some people even feel pressure to find ‘the one.’ As a result, they find ghosting an easy, hassle-free option to break things off and move on.

There are many reasons as to why someone may become a serial ghoster. They may have been ghosted many times themselves and become jaded by modern dating. Or, they may have narcissistic personality traits, such as lacking empathy towards others and only considering their own feelings and convenience when making decisions. A serial ghoster will unlikely feel anything after ghosting someone. In their world, it’s simply how they break up with people.

Factor 5. How the ghostee reacted to being ghosted i.e. was the ghosting process smooth and painless or did huge drama ensue?

If the ghostee accepted the end of the relationship and went quietly, this makes things easier for the ghoster

How the ghoster feels about ghosting someone can also depend on how the ghostee reacts to being ghosted. If the ghostee is the type that can quickly accept the fact that they’ve been ghosted and easily move on, there are no tears or drama. In this situation, the ghoster will probably be equally chill about the whole ghosting situation.

If the ghostee had a huge emotional outburst and confronted the ghoster, the ghoster may also freak out

If the ghostee had a big reaction after being ghosted, this makes things a bit more complicated for the ghoster. A big reaction may include things such as:

Constantly messaging or calling the ghoster
Having an emotional outburst
Repeatedly demanding answers
Showing up at the ghoster’s home or place of work

If the ghostee made it impossible for the ghoster to walk away easily, the ghoster may regret ghosting. Their intention of ghosting the other person was to save themselves from inconvenience or awkward conversations. However, if the ghostee reacted badly, bombarding the ghoster with angry messages or even showing up in-person seeking closure, this is precisely what the ghoster was dreading.

If the ghostee made the ghoster’s life difficult after being ghosted, the ghoster will probably regret ghosting

If, after ghosting someone, the ghoster finds they have a new problem i.e. how to make the person they ghosted leave them alone, this is a tricky situation. They will likely realize that ghosting was perhaps not the best way of ending things. Instead, they may feel that they should have broken up in a more decent way.

Factor 6. If there’s a possibility they might bump into the person they ghosted IRL, the ghoster may feel nervous

If there’s a real possibility that the ghoster may bump into the person they ghosted IRL, this might make them nervous. A ghoster will certainly want to avoid seeing the other person real life. Any polite conversation will be extremely awkward, especially if there are other people around. They may be scared of how the ghostee will react to seeing them. Will they be called out for ghosting? Will the ghostee be angry and confront them? From the ghoster’s point of view, bumping into each other certainly won’t be fun.

Factor 7. The ghoster’s personality type

If the ghoster is self-absorbed and/or narcissistic they may feel proud of themselves

Unfortunately, some people are self-absorbed and/or narcissistic and completely lack empathy towards others. These types can easily start and end relationships and walk away with zero feelings or regrets. Scarily enough, they may even feel proud of the fact that they can and a relationship by ghosting someone.

Self-absorbed types like to feel they have the upper hand when it comes to dating. They can easily move on after ghosting someone. It may not occur to them that their actions are hurtful. After ghosting, they won’t hesitate to start a new relationship.

If the ghoster has the capacity to be sensitive and reflect on their actions, they may feel conflicted about the fact that they ghosted

While it’s easy to regard all ghosters as insensitive, inconsiderate types, this is not necessarily true. Sure, ghosting is generally viewed as an inconsiderate and heartless thing to do, especially if one has ended a serious relationship in this way. However, people have wide-ranging reasons for ghosting. Sometimes, a person who is ordinarily a thoughtful person may ghost someone. This could because they are confused about the relationship, have communication difficulties, or, for whatever reason, think ghosting is the best option.

A ghoster who has the capacity to empathize with the person they ghosted and reflect on their actions may feel uncomfortable about the fact that they ghosted. They may later question whether they caused the other person pain by ghosting them.

Factor 8. Whether or not the ghoster ends up missing the person they ghosted

If the ghoster later realizes they miss the person they ghosted or it suddenly dawns on them that they should not have ended the relationship, they will feel sadness and loneliness after ghosting. They may regret their actions and wish they hadn’t cut the other person off in such a harsh way.

Not only is ghosting a terrible way of ending a relationship but it doesn’t leave the ghoster with much chance of getting back together. There’s nothing more infuriating for the ghostee than to later be zombied. Basically, by ghosting the other person, they’ve eliminated almost all possibility of reconciling in the future. If they do regret ending things, they’ll simply have to accept that there’s no turning back.

If the ghoster doesn’t miss the other person at all, they probably won’t give much thought to the fact that they ghosted

If the ghoster does not have any lingering feelings for the person they ghosted, it’s likely that they are fine with the fact that they ghosted them. They may not have spent too long thinking about the fact that they ghosted after they cut the other person out of their life. If the ghoster is doing well and does not miss the other person at all, they may even feel reassured that they did the right thing by ghosting.

Factor 9. The ghoster’s emotional maturity

Some ghosters may lack emotional maturity, which is what leads them to believe that ghosting is an appropriate way to end a relationship. However, if they later grow as a person and become more emotionally mature, they may look back at their actions in a different light.

Often, life experiences, such as relationships or difficult life events can shape one’s personality and the way they view things. If some time has passed since they ghosted someone and they have evolved as a person, they may now view things differently. They may look back at the relationship and feel that, perhaps, ghosting was unfair and hurtful.

Factor 10. If the ghoster found the person they ghosted toxic or negative, they may feel relieved after ghosting

If the ghoster did not enjoy the other person’s presence in their life and found them a toxic or negative influence, they may feel relieved after ghosting them. They may have been fed up with the other person’s behaviour. Or, they may have been tired of the amount of conflict throughout the relationship.

This type of person ghosts because they did not feel the relationship was worth fighting for. It’s possible that they’d had ongoing doubts about the relationship. They may feel relieved that the relationship is over completely and even feel glad that they were the one to finally cut things off.

Again, here are the 10 factors that determine how the ghoster feels after ghosting someone:

How much the ghoster cared about the relationship
How long the relationship lasted and whether or not it was ‘serious’
Whether the ghoster is someone from an online dating app
Are they a serial ghoster?
How the ghostee reacted to being ghosted i.e. was the ghosting process smooth and painless or did huge drama ensue?
If there’s a possibility they might bump into the person they ghosted IRL
The ghoster’s personality type
Whether or not the ghoster ends up missing the person they ghosted
The ghoster’s emotional maturity
Whether or not the ghoster found the person they ghosted toxic or negative

People ghost for many different reasons but ultimately the goal is the same: to end the relationship and cut someone of their life. Someone who has been ghosted may experience a wide range of feelings, ranging from frustration to confusion, to feeling nothing at all. Likewise, ghosters can feel a mix of emotions after ghosting someone. Some ghosters may feel guilt or sadness after ghosting someone. However, if they are a serial ghoster or the type of person who generally lacks empathy for others, they’ll probably spend little time thinking about the fact that they ghosted someone. They’ll have quickly moved on and be living their life happily.

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