Updated 15th August 2023
Being unmatched on Tinder can be disappointing if you wanted to explore things further with this person. Perhaps you had already exchanged a few messages and been looking forward to hearing from them. You may have even met them in person. Suddenly, you find that they have disappeared from your list of matches and you can no longer contact them. Being unmatched on Tinder is a reality of online dating that almost everyone will experience at some point. Here are the commonest reasons why.
Firstly, here’s how to know if someone has unmatched you on Tinder
If you’ve been unmatched on Tinder, you won’t receive any alert letting you know. Here are the 4 signs that you’ve been unmatched:
Sign 1. You stop receiving messages completely from your match
Sign 2. When you message them, your messages never show as being ‘delievered’
Sign 3. While you’re swiping, their profile pops up as though you’re encountering them for the first time
Sign 4. Your chat history will disappear
If someone unmatched me on Tinder does the conversation disappear?
Yes, all your past messages will disappear. Apparently, Tinder does this as a way of protecting users who have been subjected to bad behaviour on the app.
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 1. You’re not their type
When people use Tinder, they speedily swipe through many profiles at a time. Often, they have not given too much thought into it. At most, they have quickly skimmed through your photos and read your profile info. When someone matches with you, it solely indicates that there is potentially some interest in chatting with you. Nothing else. It does not mean that you are compatible, nor does it mean that they want a relationship with you.
You may not be what they expected
Swiping is based on what you see in someone’s profile. Maybe at first glance, they thought they were cute, or you had things in common. However, the reality is that the information on Tinder profiles is very limited. It’s common to find that once you start chatting to one of your matches, they are not what you expected. Perhaps they don’t find you interesting and it becomes difficult to keep the conversation flowing.
It’s common to be initially interested in someone, based on their appearance, or things they’ve put on their profile. However, once you start communicating (or even meet up in person), they may find you are simply not your type. As a result, you get unmatched on Tinder. There are endless reasons as to why you may not be their type. It’s pointless getting hung up on wondering why.
Related: Online Dating: Ghosted Before The First Date?
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 2. You take too long to reply. Next!
A general rule of thumb is that a few hours is a reasonable time frame in which messages should be answered. While it’s certainly possible that someone who replies you the next day is still interested, it’s important to not leave things for too long. Just remember that people on Tinder generally move at quite a fast pace. People’s attention spans are short.
While you don’t have to reply immediately, it’s also important not to leave messages unanswered for days on end. The other person may interpret this as you not being interested. Someone who comes across as uninterested will get unmatched on Tinder quickly. As everyone has multiple matches they are messaging, they will end up prioritizing the one’s who are more responsive. Sorry, but in the online dating game, people move on fast.
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 3. You’re too full on
Tinder and other dating apps are an easy and almost effortless way to connect with others. Using dating apps is certainly easier than going up to someone in person and striking up a conversation. However, it’s important to remember that the same rules of social etiquette apply, even when messaging on an app. It’s also important to use one’s common sense and allow the conversation to flow naturally, rather than pushing it. One disadvantage of online dating is that you cannot assess the other person’s facial expression or body language. Basically, you have no idea how they are reacting to you.
Overly flirtatious or suggestive = big no no
One common mistake online daters make is being too full on when messaging. It’s fine to come across as interested and friendly. However, you don’t want to be the person who sends long, excited messages to someone who replies with one or two words. Another thing to steer away from is being overly flirtatious or suggestive. This can be very off-putting for the other person. If you wouldn’t say this to a person in real life, it’s probably not ok to say on a dating app.
Taking things at a relaxed pace, without any expectations on the other person, is the best approach. Allow them space and time to reply at their convenience. Do not make inappropriate comments or ask overly personal questions. Your matches will appreciate this!
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 4. They find you boring *yawn*
On the other end of the spectrum, it’s possible that your match finds you boring. Establishing rapport with someone through messaging can be difficult sometimes. As you don’t know much about the other person, it can be hard to know what to talk about. If you are the kind of person who generally lets other people do the talking, perhaps you are not successfully engaging the other person’s interest. If they share things with you and all you say is “I see,” the other person has nothing to go on. It’s tiring for the other person if they have to always initiate conversation and be the one making the effort.
Even when messaging on a dating app, it’s important to be friendly and responsive. If they seem keen on continuing the conversation with you, this is a positive sign. You can ask simple questions to get to know more about them. The reality is, if you come across as boring, you cannot be surprised when you get unmatched on Tinder.
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 5. They were never really ‘available’ so getting unmatched on Tinder by them was inevitable
People use dating apps like Tinder for a variety of reasons. Some are genuinely looking for a serious relationship. Others are looking for a fun date with a stranger, or something casual. Unfortunately, there are people who may already be in a committed relationship and still seek out interactions on Tinder. It’s impossible to know the true relationship status of person you’ve matched with. Single, taken or something in between? Furthermore, figuring out what they are looking for may be even more problematic. They themselves may not even know what they are seeking.
If you’ve been unmatched on Tinder, it is possible that this person falls into the category of ‘not exactly single’ or even ‘totally taken.’ They may have simple been swiping and matching with people impulsively and for a bit of fun. On dating apps, it’s impossible to place any expectations on the people you match with. The truth is, you simply have no idea what you are getting or what their intentions are. It’s possible that this person was never looking for anything more than exchanging a few flirty comments with a cute guy or girl. They may have been intending to unmatch these people on Tinder all along.
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 6. They’ve deleted Tinder (or gone MIA) so all of their matches get unmatched on Tinder
Online dating can be fun and exciting. This is especially the case when someone treats it as a bit of fun without particular expectations. However, dating apps can become tiring or even disappointing. Many people may experience awkward or bad dates. They may even meet people who are untruthful or just simply not what they want. Using dating apps can be unpredictable at times. Sometimes, you just don’t know what you are going to get. At the end of the day, dating apps like Tinder can become time consuming. After all, every person you chat with or meet up is an investment of your time.
They may have gotten fed up with Tinder and decided to take a break
When it comes to online dating, people often go through phases. One day, they may be positive and enthusiastic about seeking new people. Other times, they may simply get fed up of the process. It could be because they are particularly busy with other things, such as work. Or, they may have even had a bad experience dating have become reluctant to continue using Tinder. They may therefore decide to take a break from online dating and even delete their account.
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 7. They are now in a relationship
People’s relationship statuses change frequently. Someone who was taken yesterday may now be single today. Someone who was single yesterday may now be in a happy relationship. When you match with that cute stranger on Tinder, you simply do not know what their deal is. The likelihood is they are entertaining several possibilities, just like you. Even if they were available when you first matched with them, they may now be taken. Either they have become more serious with someone they already knew, or they have met someone new. As a result, you get unmatched on Tinder. “But why didn’t they delete Tinder all together?” you may ask. Well, it’s definitely possible that they deleted Tinder. Or they may still be subtly swiping away still looking for others… You’ll never know.
Related: How Many Days is Ghosting?
Unmatched on Tinder Reason 8. It’s clear you two have different objectives of using Tinder
The easiest approach to dating apps such as Tinder is to enjoy meeting new people and not have many expectations. Use them as an opportunity to connect with and meet new people outside your social circle. If you end up getting along really well with someone and things are able to progress further, great! Otherwise, there’s no need to be disappointed. As long as you ensure your own safety and are street smart about it, Tinder can be a fun experience.
Some people are seeking casual one-off dates from Tinder while others are looking for a relationship
Everyone has different goals when it comes to using Tinder. For example, one person may be enjoying their single life freedom. They may simply want to exchange flirty messages and meet a few cute strangers for fun. Getting into a relationship is the absolute last thing on their mind. However, another person may be struggling to date in real life. Deep down, they are seeking a serious relationship. Perhaps they are too busy with their career, or they simply do not know many people. They find it impossible to find people to date in their immediate surroundings and therefore turn to online dating.
A mismatch in expectations is a common reason for getting unmatched on Tinder. If the person you matched with is seeking something different to you, continuing the conversation may seem futile. At the end of the day, it’s far easier to deal with someone who is seeking similar things to you.
Been unmatched on Tinder? Don’t worry about it!
If you’ve been unmatched on Tinder by someone you were interested in, you may feel disappointed. However, it’s important to remember that you really do not know a lot about this person. Sure, they may they appear great based on their profile info or from chatting to them. However, you have no idea what they are really looking for or what their true relationship status is. For all you know, they might not even be single. The other possibility is that you are simply not what they are looking for. It could even be that you need to work on your chat a bit.
Don’t despair. Instead of dwelling on why they unmatched you on Tinder, it’s far better to accept the situation. Most people will get unmatched at some point. It’s simply part of the process of using dating apps. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Rather than focusing on why one person no longer wants to speak to you, invest your efforts into finding someone who is seeking something similar to you.
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