Online dating poses unique challenges that we do not face when introduced to people in real-life. This can make it more difficult to assess how interested someone really is in you. Recognizing someone from online dating who is is not interested may not be that obvious. Firstly, most of the communication is online, at least in the initial stages. This means you cannot truly gauge their reaction to you. It’s hard to read someone’s emotions through text messages. Secondly, you do not know what people are looking for on dating apps. Is this person actually interested in a relationship? Or, are they just bored and looking to chat to cuties to kill time? In online dating, one should be able to recognize the signs that show someone is not interested.
One needs to be able to gauge the other person’s interest to figure out whether you are wasting your time or not
Navigating the world of online dating requires one to be alert to the signs other people are giving. Perhaps you’re wondering whether the person you’ve matched with is interested or not. Perhaps they are responding to your messages but you’re not quite sure if they ever want to meet. Or maybe they are inconsistent in messaging you and occasionally disappear.
Here are 5 online dating signs that he’s not interested:
1. He do not show interest in getting to know you
If the conversation seems one-sided, with you doing more of the talking and asking, it shows that they are not too bothered. Someone who is interested will at least ask basic questions about you and your life. They will enjoy getting to know you better and the conversation should flow naturally. If you share things about your life and they have little or no reaction, it’s unlikely that they are interested.
2. He take ages to reply
Someone who is keen will look forward to hearing from you and be happy to reply. You won’t need to wait for days and days for a response. It’s as simple as that. Sure, you may hypothesize that the other person is ‘busy.’ However, sending a message really does not take long at all. The other scenario is when they sometimes reply promptly, but other times completely disappear. This type of playing ‘hot and cold’ also shows a lack of sustained interest. They may be simply messaging you out of boredom as opposed to genuinely being interested.
Related: Double Texting After Being Left On Read: Should You Do It?
3. He is not willing to meet up
If you’ve suggested meeting up and they avoid the question or decline, they are not interested. It’s certainly possible that some people are just looking to chat online. They may be bored or lonely but have no intention on taking things any further. However, if your goal of online dating is to establish a real-life relationship, you need someone who is also interested in this. Someone who is keen will at least be open to meeting you once to see if you get along in person. If you’ve already met and they no longer want to meet again, it’s a sign that you’re not what they are looking for.
4. He cancels plans
While there are genuine reasons for needing to cancel plans, someone who habitually cancels is simply not that interested in you. Even if they only cancel once but fail to reschedule another meeting, it shows they no longer want to meet. The worst case scenario is if they’ve actually stood you up. This is unacceptable and shows they have no respect for your time or feelings. At the end of the day, if someone wants to see you, they will try to make it happen.
5. He mentions that he is ‘taken’ or otherwise unavailable
If someone you’ve got your sights on mentions that they are currently in a relationship, this is a huge red flag. The other possibility is that they tell you they are ‘not ready’ or for some reason unavailable. There are endless reasons as to why this may be. Sure, it’s possible they are giving you some signs to suggest that they are interested such as flirting with you. They may be communicating with you regularly and happily going along with whatever you suggest. However, you need to really listen to what they are saying. Someone who is genuinely interested in you (and wants a relationship with you) will not tell you they are taken or unavailable. Don’t be the person that someone keeps around on the side as a backup.
Related: What is Breadcrumbing?
Just because you’re super interested, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is
When it comes to online dating, you are essentially searching through a huge mix of people. Some will be compatible with you, others won’t. Also, everyone has different intentions when it comes to online dating. You will encounter people who are super keen as well as others who are not interested. It can be difficult at times to determine how interested someone is. Many people will continue chatting with many matches at the same time. Frankly, they may just be bored.
If you are interested in someone, it’s important to assess realistically how interested you think the other person is. Just because you are keen, it does not mean they necessarily feel the same way. Someone who is interested will enjoy keeping in touch with and learning about you. They will be up for making plans and following through. Them simply replying to your messages is not quite the same as them being genuinely interested in you. If they take a long time to respond or disappear for periods, or if they ditch plans, their behaviour suggests that they are not really that interested.
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