Were you initially optimistic about using dating apps to meet other singles, only to get ghosted over and over again? It can end up becoming frustrating if you’ve done all the right things: made a killer profile, matched with cute singles then started conversations where they genuinely seem interested. It’s easy to brush off being ghosted once or twice (maybe you were not that into them anyway). However, if, over time, you find that many of your matches stop replying your messages completely then you may be questioning “why do I keep getting ghosted on dating apps?”
Getting ghosted on dating apps is VERY common
First things first, getting ghosted is very common and even regarded as normal behaviour in dating by some people. However, in online dating, ghosting is especially common. The reasons for this are:
- If you are chatting to a match and have not met up in real life, you are merely learning about each other and do not have a ‘relationship.’ Many people feel it is unnecessary to state that they are no longer interested in ending an online dating conversation. As a result, they stop replying all together i.e. ghost.
- People on dating apps have usually matched with a LOT of different people. They will filter through matches quickly and eliminate the ones who are less appealing. They simply don’t have the time to tell each person that it’s going nowhere.
- ‘Singles’ on online dating apps may not truly be that ‘single.’ You’ll encounter people with varying relationship statuses, from ‘still kind of with my ex’ to ‘married with kids’ all presenting themselves as being single and available. These types who are not emotionally available are likely to start up relationships and then ghost when they’ve had enough.
- You’re looking for something different to what the people you matched with are looking for. If, say, you’re looking for casual dates whereas your matches are looking for something serious, they will soon pick up on this and not see the point in continuing the conversation.
Related: Why Is Online Dating So Hard?
However, you may have been ghosted because you’re guilty of these 8 no-no behaviours
These 8 behaviours will ensure that you get ghosted on dating apps:
- Constantly talking about yourself and not showing enough interest in the other person i.e. coming across as self-absorbed
- Sending photos that may be perceived as rude or inappropriate or asking the other person for photos
- Expressing strong or extreme views on topics like politics, religion, relationships that the other person may not agree with
- Coming across as desperate: messaging constantly, being over the top with compliments
- Seeming clingy or controlling: always wanting to know what the other person is doing, acting as though you’re in a relationship
- Opening up about personal things a bit too soon e.g. bad experiences you’ve had, your health issues, past relationships
- Pressuring the other person to give you their phone number or meet up
- Pointing out the other person’s flaws
Related: How To Do Online Dating Successfully: 5 Top Tips For Success
On dating apps, it’s important to be respectful, light-hearted and take things one step at a time
If you keep getting ghosted on dating apps, it could be that you’ve either been unlucky. Or, there is something you’ve been doing that has been scaring your matches away. If you’re convinced that you’ve done nothing to deserve getting ghosted so often, then it could be that the people you’ve matched with are simply not compatible with you.
Still keen to continue with online dating? Then try your best to maintain a positive mental attitude without building up too many expectations. As long as you treat others respectfully and stay true to yourself, chances are, you’ll find someone who you click with and appreciates what you have to offer. All those times you got ghosted simply won’t matter anymore.
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