Ghosted Before the Second Date? Here’s Why.

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If you’ve already been on a first date with someone new and have made plans to meet again, you may be surprised when you get ghosted before the second date. Unfortunately, this happens frequently during dating. It can leave one feeling annoyed and confused. Why would someone agree to a second date if they had no intention of following through?

Getting ghosted before the second date is common

Ghosting someone before the second date is bad dating etiquette. It’s one thing to ghost someone after meeting up if you feel they are not your type. However, if a second date has been agreed on (even worse if a time and place has been chosen), then suddenly ghosting the other person is inconsiderate.

Some ghosters would argue that after one date, it’s not as though the two of you know each other well. They may feel they don’t owe you any explanation. After all, dating is about meeting new people without obligations or expectations.

If you’ve been ghosted before the second date, these are the common reasons why:

Reason 1. They agreed to a second date out of politeness

At the end of a first date, there’s often a question lingering at the back of both people’s minds. Both parties are likely pondering whether they are keen to see the other person again. Sometimes, one person may directly suggest meeting up again for a second date if they enjoyed the first date. They may ask something like “I really enjoyed meeting you, would you be up for meeting again?”

Sometimes, the other person may be undecided or not particularly keen. However, they may agree to a second date out of politeness. If you asked your date in person whether they would like to meet for a second date, it may have been hard for them to reject you in-person or tell you they were unsure. After taking some time to think about things, they may have decided that they’d rather not, and as a result ghosted you.

Reason 2. They had second thoughts

It’s certainly possible that at the time the two of you agreed to a second date, the guy or girl was keen to meet again. However, while you two were chatting during the time between the first and second dates, they changed their mind. Perhaps they felt that as they got to know you better, they had second thoughts and decided that you’re simply not their type.

Reason 3. They were lukewarm about you all along

Sometimes, when people are single, they may entertain dates that they are not that into just to fill their time. They may go on dates out of boredom or simply to avoid feeling lonely. They may have not been super keen to meet you in the first place, however, agreed to it for the sake of it. Perhaps the guy or girl was not really that into you all along but just wanted someone to hang out with. They may not have thought too much into agreeing for a second date, even if they did not have the intention of following through.

Reason 4. They met someone else before your second date who they feel they are more compatible with

If you got ghosted before the second date, it may be because the other person met someone else who they are more interested in. This is especially common during online dating, simply because of the sheer volume of people one can match with. In a single swiping session, it’s easy to find multiple dates to fill up your calendar. If the person you met is particularly social or active on online dating platforms, chances are, they find it easy to find dates.

I genuinely thought the first date went well but I got ghosted before the second date. Did I imagine that the date went well?

The reality is that it can be hard to evaluate first dates. You may feel all the signs that things went well but still get ghosted afterwards. It’s possible to have great conversation, flirty communication and laugh together, but for one person to not necessarily feel a spark. It’s also easy to misread another person’s interest, especially if we are attracted to them.

Is there any hope of seeing them again?

No. If they were genuinely interested, they would not have ghosted you. Simple as that.

What should I do?

There’s really nothing you can do. Dating is all about putting yourself out there and meeting new people. Everyone will experience misreading dating situations and being disappointed from time to time. Unfortunately, ghosting has become rather common in modern dating. In fact, it’s probably hard nowadays to find someone who has never been ghosted.

Take what happened as a learning experience and move on. Enjoy your life as usual. Clearly, if this guy or girl was truly compatible for you, you wouldn’t have been ghosted before the second date. There are plenty of people out there who would love the opportunity to spend time with you and appreciate what you have to offer.

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