If you’ve recently (or perhaps not so recently) broken up with a guy, you may be still in the process of moving on from the relationship. You may often think about your ex or watch his social media stories. It’s possible you even see him often in real life due to being in the same school or workplace or having mutual friends. However, if it appears that he’s happily moved on and is living life to the fullest, you may wonder to yourself “why doesn’t he miss me?”
Getting over a breakup can take varying lengths of time, depending on how much you liked him and how the relationship ended. The length of your relationship is another important factor. If you are not quite over the relationship or still have feelings for him, it’s common to wonder “why doesn’t he miss me?”
Here are the signs that your ex does not miss you
He never reaches out
An ex who does not miss you will not reach out to see how you are doing. Basically, since you are not on his mind, it does not occur to him to get in touch with you.
He doesn’t reply your messages
Leading on from the previous point, if you’ve tried getting in touch with your ex but he never replies, this is a clear sign he does not care. It’s one thing to not reach out, but if he flat out ignores you when you message him, it’s obvious he does not miss you.
He’s dating someone new
Unfortunately, if a guy is dating someone new, he has moved on. Even if deep down he does occasionally miss you, his actions are showing that he wants someone new.
“Why doesn’t he miss me?” Here are 5 reasons why.
Reason 1. He was not that into you
A guy who had strong feelings or fell in love with someone during their relationship will often miss you after breaking up. Even if you parted ways with good reason, it’s hard to switch off emotions and attachment just like that. A common reason as to why a guy does not miss their ex is if they simply did not like them that much. Even if things went well at the beginning of the relationship, it may have become clear to him over time that you are not his type. If he was not that into you, it’s likely he felt happier that the two of you are no longer together.
Reason 2. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship
The success of a relationship depends a lot on compatibility between the two people involved. It’s important that they both want similar things in the relationship. Sometimes, men are just not in the right place in their life to be involved with someone romantically. This may be for reasons including:
- wanting to focus on their career
- wanting to be single and free i.e. play the field
If you broke up for reasons like these, it’s unlikely that he will miss you because it’s simply not his priority to be in a relationship.
Reason 3. He doesn’t like the way you acted in the relationship
If, during your relationship, the guy you were dating felt that your behaviour was off-putting in any way, he will have been keen to leave. Any behaviour that borders on pushy, argumentative, or selfish will have been perceived badly. Furthermore, if the two of you regularly had conflict during your relationship, his view of you and the relationship is more likely to be negative. As a result, he is far less likely to miss you.
Reason 4. He’s dating someone new
If your ex is dating someone new, he has clearly moved on from your relationship. He may be too happy enjoying time with his new partner to care about you. He may even feel that his new partner is more compatible with him. His focus will be his new relationship and, as a result, he is not thinking about you.
Even if he does miss you, if he is already dating someone new, it’s less likely that he will reach out to contact you. He may want to avoid confusion or any kind of complicated situation by messaging you. Or, he may feel it’s more respectful towards the new person he’s seeing if he does not have any relationship with you.
Reason 5. He’s over you and doesn’t want to look back
Even if your ex is not dating someone new, he may have completely moved on from your relationship. Often, the decision to break up is not something that someone decides overnight. It’s often something that one or both people have been thinking about for a while. Then, when it becomes clear that the relationship has run its course, that’s when someone will initiate the breakup.
Your ex may feel very confident about the reasons the two of you broke up. If it was very clear to him that the two of you are not meant to be and he is happier alone, then he will have found it easier to gain closure and move on. He is not looking back at the past and therefore does not miss you, as he is focusing on the future.
Still can’t help but wonder “why doesn’t he miss me?” Here’s what to do.
Allow yourself time to feel how you feel
If you have found yourself constantly wondering “why doesn’t he miss me?” then it’s clear that you still have feelings towards your ex. We are all human beings and it’s normal to feel that way, even if it’s clear that the two of you can’t be together. After all, you may have spent a long time together. It’s important to allow yourself time to process everything that you are feeling about your relationship.
Related: Here’s What to Do if You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex
Set yourself a deadline
Set yourself a reasonable timeline for feeling upset about the end of your relationship. Yes, it can be very difficult. You may feel tempted to wallow in your sadness for weeks on end. However, this is not healthy. A better option would be to give yourself a deadline of a few days or a week to cry it out or process what happened and how it’s affected you. However, after that, you need to focus on moving on with your life and stop looking back at the past.
Set boundaries: remove reminders of him, stop watching his social media stories
If you’re constantly wondering “why doesn’t he miss me?” it may be helpful to remove all potential reminders of your ex. This includes items he may have left in your home or given you, or even frequenting places that the two of you went together. It may be difficult if you often bump into him in real life due to work or having mutual friends. However, you can still try your best to limit reminders of him.
If you’ve been regularly watching his posts or stories on social media, consider changing your settings so that his updates don’t pop up on your feed. Alternatively, you can even remove him from your friends list. Sure, you may be curious as to what he’s up to. You may even be full-on stalking his social media. However, if you’re trying to get over a guy, it’s really not helpful to see constant updates about his life.
Related: Dating After a Breakup: 7 Tips for Success
Focus on the reasons you broke up
Instead of wondering “why doesn’t he miss me?” focus on the reasons the two of you broke up. Clearly, if you are not together, there must have been something missing in the relationship. Either the two of you had personality traits that were incompatible, or you simply wanted different things. There must have been a source of unhappiness for the two of you to part ways.
Reminding yourself of the reasons you broke up will serve as a reality check. Basically, the two of you are better off not being together, at least in the present moment. Therefore, it does not matter if he doesn’t miss you. Embrace the opportunity to learn and grow from this experience. Even if it’s hard to feel positive, every relationship teaches us a lot.
Keep yourself busy
Instead of obsessing about why your ex doesn’t miss you, get out of the house and keep yourself busy. Hang out with friends, go to parties, have fun. Work on things that are important to you. Spend time on interests that make you happy. Go on a holiday. Do anything that feels fulfilling and takes your mind off your past relationship. Keep an open mind and an open heart. You never know what’s around the corner!
Be happy for him
Finally, even though the two of you are not together, you can still wish your ex well. Be genuinely happy that he’s living his life to the fullest without you. It does not matter that he doesn’t miss you. He deserves to find happiness and what’s right for him, as do you.
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