For all you ghosters out there, beware. If you thought that ghosting was an easy way to end a relationship without getting your hands messy, you’re mistaken. The problem is that you simply have no idea how the other person will react to being ghosted. By ghosting someone, you are likely putting them through days of confusion and wondering what’s going on. In many cases, the person being ghosted will eventually take the hint and accept the relationship is over. When ghosting backfires, it creates a whole new string of problems. After all, you’ve denied them the opportunity to find out why you’ve ended the relationship. They may spend a long time wondering what happened. This makes it difficult to gain closure and move on.
How Ghosting can Backfire
When you break up with someone by ghosting them, if the other person had feelings for you, they will undeniably be hurt by your actions. This is more relevant if you had been dating the person or if they felt they had invested time and effort into the relationship. How the other person deals with it is difficult to anticipate. While many people can deal with it rationally and move on, some people do not. If they are emotionally unstable, they may react in extreme ways. When ghosting backfires, it can end up being more drama than you’d ever anticipated.
Related: 5 Reasons Ghosting Is Cowardly When It Comes To Dating
When ghosting backfires, they may bombard you with angry messages
It’s not uncommon for the person who’s been ghosted to become angry. Despite you not responding to them, they may repeatedly message or call you. Even if you’ve blocked them, they may find other ways of reaching you such as email.
“I had been on three dates with a guy and decided that he just wasn’t my type. When I ghosted him, I thought he would get the message but he kept on calling- up to five times in a row. He then sent me messages that got increasingly emotional saying he was really p*ssed off with me and he hated me etc. OMG it was too much! I really didn’t expect he’d respond like that.” – Cass, 24.
They may show up at your home, workplace or somewhere you frequent
Unfortunately, if the person you’d ghosted knows where you live or work, you run the risk of them showing up unannounced. They may demand a proper explanation for cutting them off. The worst is if they somehow make a scene at your workplace. This can be awkward and exposes your personal life to colleagues. Remember that when ghosting backfires, it can even affect other areas of your life, too.
“After ghosting this girl I’d been seeing casually, I assumed it was over. I seriously was not expecting her to show up at my workplace looking for me. She was really angry and demanded I come out to see her. I ended up spending ages listening to her vent her anger and was interrogated. It was super uncomfortable. Needless to say, everyone at work was talking about me afterwards!” Richie, 31.
They may badmouth you to others or on social media
We live in a generation where privacy is becoming difficult to achieve and sharing one’s life is practically the norm. Facebook and Instagram make it extremely easy to spread information and rumours. In some people’s eyes, being ghosted is a huge slap in the face. They may develop strong feelings of resentment towards you. If they are the type that enjoys posting their life on social media, they may even share negative things about you in order to damage your reputation.
“I ghosted a girl that I’d been dating for a few months. Then the next thing I knew, my friends asked if I’d seen what she’d posted about me on Instagram. I said ‘no’ as I had already removed her from my friends list. When I eventually saw, she had posted a story stating that I was a liar and girls should beware of me, along with other character shaming. It was embarrassing that so many people I knew had seen that. Not great for one’s reputation!” Paul, 27.
If you’re thinking of ghosting someone, consider what can happen when ghosting backfires
In conclusion, if you thought that ghosting was an easy way to walk away from a relationship, think again. Even if you feel totally fine with doing so, it’s unlikely the other person will be. It’s possible that ghosting them will cause them a lot of heartbreak and confusion. You simply do not know how they will react to being ghosted. When ghosting backfires, it can be messy and unpredictable. They may show up unannounced or bombard you with angry messages. Even though breaking up formally can also be unpleasant and have repercussions, it’s certainly the more considerate option if you wish to end the relationship.
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