Ghosted After A Year Of Dating? Your Burning Questions Answered.

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Updated 7th September 2023

Contents:

Why getting ghosted after a year of dating really sucks
Why was I ghosted after a year of dating?
Why did he/she ghost me instead of breaking up with me properly?
Should I ask them why they ghosted me?
I thought he/she had feelings for me, did I imagine the whole thing?
Even though he/she ghosted me, I really miss them. What can I do?
Even though I was ghosted after a year of dating, I still care about him/her and want to know if they are ok. Should I reach out?
Will they come back?
I was ghosted after a year of dating and am struggling to get over it. What can I do?

If you’ve been ghosted after a year of dating, this may have come as a huge shock. Getting ghosted is most common during the early stages of dating when two people are still getting to know each other. Nowadays, with ghosting being so common, people are often prepared for the possibility that they may get ghosted. However, most people will not anticipate getting ghosted after a full year of dating. After dating someone for so long, being ghosted will inevitably leave one very hurt. It will also result in many unanswered questions, making it difficult to gain closure.

First and foremost, remember: ghosting someone after a year of dating is NOT a respectful or appropriate way to end a relationship.

Why getting ghosted after a year of dating really sucks

Getting ghosted sucks in general. No one likes being ghosted unless they did not really like the other person to begin with, in which case, it probably doesn’t matter. However, if you’ve been dating someone for a full year, this is likely a relationship that you’ve invested a great deal of time and emotion into. Whether or not this was an ‘official’ relationship or not, you would certainly have developed a bond with this person.

After a year of dating you probably would have developed strong feelings for this person

It’s only normal that after spending a year dating someone that one would end up putting trust into the other person and caring for them. If you were ghosted after a year of dating and you wanted the relationship to continue, it would likely have hit you quite hard.

Being ghosted after a year of dating is completely different to being ghosted after a few dates. This person was a part of your life.

Being ghosted by someone you’ve only met a few times may not leave one feeling great. However, at least they are not part of your life in a big way. After dating someone for a year, it’s likely you are used to having someone who’s there for you and quite involved in your life.

You may feel very confused after being ghosted after a year of dating

Being ghosted after a year of dating may leave you feeling confused or even blindsided. It’s truly a difficult situation to be in. On one hand, you may feel rejected and angry that they ghosted you without any explanation. However, you may still have love for them and miss their company dearly. You might be wondering if it’s something you did that caused them to ghost. Or, you may even be trying to justify their behaviour because you still love them.

Being ghosted after a year of dating can create all kinds of problems, such as:

Causing you a great deal of psychological pain as you are emotionally invested
Feeling rejected by someone you have deep feelings for
Your daily life becoming more demanding e.g. managing daily jobs alone, eating alone
Feeling lonely and potentially isolated
Your self-esteem taking a huge hit
Making you question the entire relationship given that you dated for an entire year
Feeling blindsided by the other person
Making you question or blame yourself (“how did I not see this coming?” or “how did I not see what kind of person they were after a year of dating?”)

Here are some common questions asked by people who have been ghosted after a year of dating.

Why was I ghosted after a year of dating?

Unfortunately, there’s no simple answer. If you were ghosted after a year of dating, it’s clear that this person no longer wanted to be with you. Bear in mind that a year of dating is a significant length of time in which someone can decide whether the relationship has long-term potential.

Here are some reasons as to why you may have been ghosted after a year of dating:

They grew out of the relationship
They felt that after a year of dating, your relationship had no future
The two of you had conflict that could not be resolved
They had ongoing issues with your behaviour
They met someone else
They were keeping you around as a backup
They did not love you
Their family did not approve of you

Why did he/she ghost me instead of breaking up with me properly?

Many people who ghost do so because they feel it’s an ‘easier’ way of ending a relationship. They can avoid the heartbreak and awkwardness of breaking up in person. By ghosting someone, they do not need to deal with your reaction, your feelings or your questions. The possible reasons are wide-ranging and include:

They simply did not care enough to have the decency to break up with you in person
They did something dishonest and did not have the guts to admit it to you
They are avoidant and hate dealing with the emotions and drama of breaking up
They are insensitive and narcissistic therefore did not care about how ghosting may affect you
They were upset about something and ghosted intentionally to hurt you
They thought that ghosting you would cause you less pain than breaking up in person

Should I ask them why they ghosted me?

Presumably, this person has already left you on read for one or several messages, which is how you concluded that you’d been ghosted. Unfortunately, if the other person has cut off all communication completely, it will be difficult to gain any kind of meaningful answer as to why they ghosted you. If you simply cannot figure out why they ghosted you may have many question marks in your head.

You have two options:

Option A. Ask them why they ghosted you after a year of dating

If you do decide to ask why they ghosted, there is a small possibility they will respond. However, realize that this person has already proved themselves to be unreliable. They are not willing to communicate honestly and openly with you. Even if they reply, it’s unlikely their response will answer all the questions in your head and allow you to gain closure.

If you do ask why they ghosted, do not expect them to reply. Chances are, they’ll simply leave you on read again. Furthermore, by asking, you may end up feeling even more frustrated and disappointed than by leaving things be. It might be tempting to keep messaging until they respond. This is likely going to be a waste of time.

Option B. Leave things be

Instead of trying to force answers out of them, you may wish to walk away from the situation and focus on healing. This is a good option as it’s already clear that your ghoster does not want a relationship with you. Why do you need to spend anymore time communicating with them? Remember, this person did not even respect you enough to tell you to your face that they wanted to break up after a full year of dating. This person is not worthy of a place in your life.

Option C. Send a final message to your ghoster that closes the chapter on your relationship

Instead of asking them why they ghosted, you may wish to send a final message to your ghoster that gives you a sense of closure. You can say goodbye to your ghoster and keep your head held up high. You may find the following article helpful:

6 High Value Responses to Ghosting That Tell Your Ghoster You Are Better Off Without Them

I thought he/she had feelings for me, did I imagine the whole thing?

They may have been into you in the beginning but lost interest

A year is quite a long time to be in a relationship with someone. Clearly, the other person did have some feelings for you otherwise it would have been impossible to stay with you for so long. However, relationships are dynamic and often change over time. it’s possible their feelings dwindled towards the end of the relationship, which is why they wanted to end things.

Was it a relationship of convenience for them?

Alternatively, they may have spent one year dating you because it was convenient for them. They may have just wanted to be in a relationship because they didn’t want to be single. Or, they may have been happy to keep you around as a backup while scouting out other options.

It’s remotely possible that they do love you but for some reason they were unable to continue the relationship with you. However, this is very unlikely.

It is possible that there were extraordinary reasons preventing them from continuing the relationship with you despite them having strong feelings for you. However, it’s not a good idea to assume this. If this was the case, why didn’t they explain their reasons for ending the relationship instead of ghosting? Most of the time, someone who ghosts after a year of dating is NOT going to be deeply in love with you. It really does not make that much sense.

Even though he/she ghosted me, I really miss them. What can I do?

It’s understandable that you miss the person you spent the last year dating, even if they ended things by ghosting you. You may have enjoyed a lot of special moments together and they might have been a part of your daily life. It’s not going to be easy to switch off your emotions and stop missing them just like that. However, there are several steps you can take to help you stop missing them:

Remove reminders of them e.g. belongings, photos or even delete them from your social media accounts
Whenever you find yourself missing them, instead focus on the fact that they were not the right person for you. Someone who is compatible with you will not suddenly disappear after a year of dating.
Even if you’re not in the mood to be social, being around good people will help you fill up the time that you previously spent with him/her and, over time, you will miss them less

Even though I was ghosted after a year of dating, I still care about him/her and want to know if they are ok. Should I reach out?

If you still care about the man or woman who ghosted you after a year of dating, it may be tempting to contact them. Perhaps, even though they caused you pain by ghosting you, you may empathize with them. You may even have some idea as to why to they ghosted instead of breaking up with you properly. However, bear in mind the following: this person does not want to communicate with you. Furthermore, how much did they care about your feelings when they ghosted you?

Remember that this person does not want to have a relationship with you. They are not interested in your well-being. Nor do they need you checking in with them. There is little to be achieved by reaching out to someone who does not want you in their life. You are no longer in a relationship with them and their well-being is no longer your business.

Will they come back?

Understandably, you might be wondering whether this person will come back into your life. If you still have feelings for them, you probably miss them a lot and are sad that the relationship is over. Even if you are angry and have already written off any possibility of being with them again, you might still be curious as to whether they will return.

Sometimes, ghosters do become zombies and reach out to the person they ghosted. They might end up missing the person they ghosted and regret ghosting. Or, they may simply be bored one day and send some flakey message that means nothing. They might even wish you happy birthday. However, what does it matter? For all you know, they’ll ghost you a second time.

Instead of wondering if they will come back, focus on your life without them

Do you really want to spend your time wondering if someone who treated you disrespectfully and doesn’t want to be with you is going to come back? Understandably, you may be unable to stop yourself wondering. However, you’re far better off wondering how to fill your time with fun and productive activities that have nothing to do with them.

I was ghosted after a year of dating and am struggling to get over it. What can I do?

Accept that the relationship is over. Even though you dated for a year and they were a significant part of your life, you are no longer together. They are not coming back.
Give yourself time to mourn the loss of the relationship. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to vent your heartbreak to friends, then do so. If you feel you need professional help then you may consider seeing a therapist or counsellor.
Stop questioning what happened and why. You will never fully understand what happened and why they ghosted you. Realize that this person who you dated for year was heartless to ghost you without explanation.
Remind yourself that this person does not love you or care about you. By ghosting you, they proved that they are not the person you thought they were. They are absolutely not worth your heartache.
Build up your life without them. Find new ways of occupying any free time you now have. Hang out with friends and family more. Invest time into doing things that make you happy. Be open-minded about meeting new people. Don’t look back at what happened during your relationship and focus on the future ahead of you.

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