My Ex Reached Out Then Ghosted Me. Why Did They Do This?

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If an ex has recently gotten in touch with you out of the blue, you may find this surprising. Perhaps you’ve been busy minding your own business since the breakup and you’ve not been in touch at all. It may feel awkward or even amusing when they suddenly message you out of the blue asking how you are. However, what can be especially confusing is when they reach out only to then go quiet again as if it never happened. This can leave one wondering “my ex reached out and then ghosted me, why?”

It you’re thinking “my ex reached out then ghosted me, why?” here are 6 possible reasons

Reason 1. Your ex missed you but this does not mean they wants a relationship with you

It’s common to look back at past relationships and reminisce about the good times you spent together. No matter how badly a relationship may have ended, there certainly would have been things that you found fun, exciting or even mesmerizing about the other person. From time to time, people may think about exes and possibly even miss them.

If your ex reached out then ghosted you, chances are, he or she was missing you. They may have been fondly reminiscing the things that you used to do together. Maybe they miss the conversations the two of you had or the places you went. Basically, you were on their mind, which is why they reached out.

If they ghosted you after reaching out, they may have regretted reaching out

Even though they probably missed you, if they then ghosted you, their actions are showing that they do not want a relationship with you. This means that they were not looking to stay in touch. They did not want to develop a friendship or get back together with you. What’s more likely is that they found themselves missing you and reached out in the moment. However, they may have then regretted it and felt that that continuing to talk to you was pointless. As a result, they decided to cut things off by ghosting you.

Reason 2. Your ex felt lonely

Your ex may have reached out to you during a time when he or she felt lonely. Even if they are dating someone, this does not necessarily mean that they are happy in the relationship. It’s possible to be surrounded by people but still feel lonely. It’s especially common to feel lonely if one is going through difficulties in life.

Presumably during your relationship, you were able to turn to each other for companionship and support. Maybe there are certain things that your ex felt unable to share with the people around him or her. Your ex may have felt that by reaching out to you, they could gain a sense of comfort and familiarity. They wanted someone that they felt comfortable talking to. However, since they ghosted you, this shows that the desire to stay in touch with you was short-lived. Once they had that emotional void filled, they went back to their life as usual.

Reason 3. Something reminded them of you

Even if your breakup was a long time ago, it does not mean that you have not been on your ex’s mind. If you share mutual friends, then you’ll constantly have reminders of each other. However, even if you have separate lives, it’s possible that something prompted your ex to think about you.

Consider all the places the two of you went while you were dating, the music you listened to, the inside jokes you shared. It’s possible that someone (or somewhere) caused your ex to remember you and your relationship. As a result, they may have wondered how you were doing and caused them to reach out. However, after contacting you and exchanging a few messages, they felt no point in continuing the conversation and so they ghosted you.

Reason 4. They’re newly single and are looking for attention

If your ex was newly single when they contacted you, they may have been seeking attention. After a relationship ends, some people will be very proactive about drumming up romantic interest with other people. They may contact multiple people, sending flirty messages or even asking to meet up to fill up their free time. Just because your ex reached out, it does not mean that they wanted a relationship with you again. They may have simply been bored and knew they could gain attention from you. After messaging you, they may have realized that they were fine without you in their life and ghosted you.

Reason 5. They contacted you out of plain curiosity

It’s normal to be curious about the people in our lives, even if the relationship has already ended. We invest a great deal of time and energy into relationships. Over time, the two people will form an emotional attachment in which they care about each other’s well-being. After a breakup, it’s impossible to suddenly stop thinking about someone who was such a big part of your life. However, over time, one will usually think about an ex less and less.

You may have popped into your ex’s mind one day, causing them to wonder how you are doing. They may be curious about what you have been up to and who you are dating. They may even wonder if you’re still the same person they once knew. This curiosity may have caused them to reach out to you briefly. However, they ghosted you because they felt no need to continue chatting since they had no plans to restart a relationship with you.

Reason 6. They are confused

An ex who reaches out and then ghosts may be confused about his or her feelings for you. It’s possible that they have some regrets about your relationship and breaking up. On one hand, they miss being with you. On the other hand, there may have been irreconcilable issues in your relationship. As a result, they have mixed feelings about you in general which is what caused them to contact you and then disappear.

If your ex reached out then ghosted you, there’s nothing you need to do.

It’s unlikely you’ll fully understand why your ex reached out then ghosted you. However, their reasons for doing so are unimportant. What’s more important is:

They may have some lingering feelings for you but there is no relationship between you
They were likely bored, lonely or curious
You don’t need them in your life
You are doing absolutely fine without them

Maybe your ex missed you because you’re such a great catch

Perhaps it’s expected that they still have some feelings for you because you’re a great catch 😛 Try and see this as a compliment rather than wondering why they then ghosted you. Instead of spending time thinking about why your ex reached out, focus on the important things in your life today.

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