Many people may consider themselves to be ‘dating‘ a guy they’ve met online after several dates. However, if they then notice that he is still active on dating apps, they may be slightly disheartened deep down. Maybe you half expected him to still be logging in and using dating apps. If hes changed his dating profile, however, this may cause you to question several things. Chances are, you’re wondering “the guy I’m dating updated his dating profile. What does this mean? What should I make of this?”
Questions you may be asking yourself:
- Does he truly like me?
- Are we ‘dating’?
- Where do I stand with him if he’s still actively seeking other matches?
- Does he see any future with me?
- How many other people is he talking to?
- Should I be more active in seeking other people to date, too?
Related: When To Delete A Dating App After Meeting Someone: 6 Questions To Ask Yourself
If the guy you’re dating updated his dating profile, it means he’s still looking
The short answer is: he’s searching for other people to go on dates with. This means that the two of you are not exclusively dating. While it does not mean that he does not like you, he is not at the stage where he has very strong feelings for you or wants to make any type of commitment.
“The guy I’m dating updated his dating profile. What should I do?”
It depends on how you feel about him and what you are looking for.
If you also want to keep your options open then it’s pretty straightforward
If you like him but also want to keep your own options open, then there’s no need to do anything. Since he is updating his dating profile, it’s clear that there is no assumed exclusivity between you. Therefore, if you want to also keep your options open and date other people, this is absolutely fair game.
If you like him a lot and want a relationship with him then you’ll need to think about how to deal with the fact that he’s updated his dating profile
If you like him a lot and are looking for a serious relationship, you need to ask yourself whether this guy is suitable for you.
Have you been dating for a while?
If, say, you’ve been dating for quite a while and you feel that him updating his dating profile is a betrayal of trust, then it’s really not ideal. There’s clearly a difference in expectations between the two of you, if you are assuming some level of exclusivity while he is not.
It also depends on his behaviour with you. If he’s been implying that the two of you are an ‘item’ or making plenty of future plans, then it’s not really cool that he’s still so active on dating apps. If you feel let down that he’s still looking for other dates that is completely understandable.
Related: Online Dating: When to Become Exclusive
If you haven’t been dating long, then him still being active on dating apps is a grey area
If the two of you are still in the early stages of dating, then it’s arguable that both of you are free to do whatever you like. Sure, none of us would like to imagine that the guy we really like is going on other dates. However, if there’s been no discussion about whether your relationship is ‘official’ then he may be none the wiser as to your thoughts on the relationship. He may assume that you are still seeing other people, too.
I really like him and want to bring up the fact that he updated his dating profile. What should I do?
If you want to bring up the fact that he updated his dating profile, then do so in a non-judgmental way. You can say something like:
“I noticed that you recently updated your dating profile. Presumably you’re still matching with new people. I was just wondering how you view the relationship between you and I. Do you see this as something just for the time being? Or do you think that we may have a future?”
It may not be easy to ask him directly. However, you are better off being straight to the point and getting an answer there and then. At least you’ll know where you stand and what his intentions are. That way you will know if the two of you are compatible.
If he says that he considers your relationship casual and he wants freedom to date other people whereas you are looking for something serious, then you’ll know that he is not the right guy for you. Or, if he says that he does really like you and wants both of you to stop using dating apps then you may be able to move forwards together.
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