If you’ve ventured into the world of online dating, you will have encountered many people who are simply not your type. This may be obvious from the get-go. Perhaps their profile photos and info are just not appealing to you. However, you may have started chatting to them already or even met them in person. If you find you are no longer interested in continuing, you may wish to let them know out of courtesy. Here’s how to politely tell someone from online dating that you’re not interested.
If they’ve reached out to you on an online dating app but you’re not interested
You do not have to reply to everyone who messages you. With the sheer number of people you encounter during online dating, it’s simply impossible to. There are only so many hours of the day and it’s important to prioritize. You can try not responding at all. If they don’t seem to get the hint, you can drop them a message saying “sorry but I’m not interested.” You may opt to delete them from your list of contacts, if possible.
If you’ve been chatting with them online but not met in person
“It was nice chatting with you but I don’t think you’re my type. All the best.”
The vast majority of people will accept this and move on. You do not owe them detailed explanations. Nor are you obligated to continue communicating with someone. Any decent person should get the message.
If you have met them once in person
“Thank you for meeting in person. I don’t think you’re my type so there’s no need for us to meet again. All the best.”
The point of meeting up is to see what the person is in real life. Perhaps you are not what they expected. It could be that you are not what they expected, either. Online dating involves a lot of trial and error. Anyone who’s been on a few online dates will know that many dates will not progress into anything significant. It’s perfectly reasonable to tell someone they are simply not your type after meeting them. As long as you are polite and respectful, there’s no reason to feel bad.
If you’ve met them several times
Sometimes you don’t know instantly whether someone is your type or not. You may like certain things about them but there are other things you’re not quite sure about. Or, it might take you time to become comfortable with each other and be yourself. In these cases, it may take a few dates to get to know someone better. If after this, you conclude that they are not what they want, it’s better to let them know sooner rather than later.
“It was nice getting to know you better. After consideration, I don’t feel that we are compatible, and I don’t see things going anywhere. Thanks for your time.”
It’s good to be polite and express appreciation for them making the time to see you. They may have put a lot of thought into organizing dates. They may have even started developing feelings for you. While you should be polite about telling them you are not interested, it’s important to be firm. Do not say things that give them false hope.
Perhaps you want to let them down very nicely. In this situation, you may consider saying something along the lines of “You’re a good person and I enjoyed seeing you. However, I don’t think that I’m the right fit for you.”
If it seems that you two have different expectations with online dating, it’s also reasonable to point this out. You may say something like:
“I enjoyed spending time with you, however I think we are looking for different things so I don’t see this going anywhere. I wish you the best.”
Related: How To Do Online Dating Successfully: 5 Top Tips For Success
After telling someone from online dating that you’re not interested, here’s how the other person may respond
They get the message
After telling them you’re not interested, most people will respect this. They may not respond at all. Or, they may also wish you well.
They are annoyed
It’s possible that the other person expresses annoyance or anger at being rejected. However, there is not much you can do about this. If you’ve let them down politely, you’ve done your part. You do not owe them anything else. They will have to deal with their emotions on their own.
They continue contacting you
Unfortunately, some people may insist on messaging you despite you telling them you are not interested. Do not feel obligated to reply out of politeness. In these situations, you may have no choice but to delete or block them.
Still dreading tell someone you’ve met during online dating that you’re not interested? Don’t worry.
In the end, telling someone you’ve met from online dating that you are not interested may not be the easiest thing to do. The longer you’d spent chatting to or seeing them, the harder it will be. However, at the end of the day, there is simply no point continuing a relationship when you’re not feeling it. You’re far better off being honest with the other person. While it may be awkward, most people will appreciate being told the truth. As long as you are polite and treat someone as you’d wish to be treated, there’s no reason to be scared.
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